u/Living_Girl8273

We were asked not to use our phones during the 100-minute performance, so these photos were taken before and after.

But I gotta say, wow. Nights like these remind me why I’m grateful to have lived in New York for over two decades. Huge props to Pulitzer Prize winner, Martyna Majok, who wrote this story.

It was an absolute treat to see Lola and Daniel, but especially Lola. Her facial expressions and physical gestures/movements were on full display. There were moments of laughter and deep deep hurt and sadness, and she was absolutely incredible to watch. Honestly. A rising star. I hope she does more NY theater.

And a big thanks to everyone who pulled together this benefit for RAICES, a non-profit that supports immigrants, refugees, and asylum-seeking people and families. It felt especially timely given yesterday’s shooting of Oscar Belgal by an ICE agent in front of his five-year-old son in the Bronx.

Please, please consider donating to RAICES or getting involved with Hands Off NYC if you’re in the area.

And thank you to Lola for being such an incredible advocate for the next generation.

We were asked not to use our phones during the 100-minute performance, so these photos were taken before and after.

But I gotta say, wow. Nights like these remind me why I’m grateful to have lived in New York for over two decades. Huge props to Pulitzer Prize winner, Martyna Majok, who wrote this story.

It was an absolute treat to see Lola and Daniel, but especially Lola. Her facial expressions and physical gestures/movements were on full display. There were moments of laughter and deep deep hurt and sadness, and she was absolutely incredible to watch. Honestly. A rising star. I hope she does more NY theater.

And a big thanks to everyone who pulled together for this benefit for RAICES, a non-profit that supports immigrants, refugees, and asylum-seeking people and families. It felt especially timely given yesterday’s shooting of Oscar Belgal by an ICE agent in front of his five-year-old son in the Bronx.

Please, please consider donating to RAICES or getting involved with Hands Off NYC if you’re in the area.

And thank you to Lola for being such an incredible advocate for the next generation.

I rewatched the finale again for probably the 53rd time and a really sweet full circle moment struck me.

In S1 when Conrad and Belly are on the beach the morning after the bonfire, Belly is struggling to be seen by not just Conrad but the entire household (think of her hesitance to eat the Mickey Mouse pancakes) as new, grown-up, and transformed into a girl that isn't a kid or an annoyance who's just tagging along with the boys

So when Conrad casually calls her "same old Belly," Belly interprets that as dismissive of who she's becoming. She wants to feel seen by the person whose gaze matters most to her. I'm not saying that's why she went on the date with Cam, but I do think she wanted to be looked at like that by someone; hence her confrontation with Conrad in the kitchen after he crashed her date.

If we look at those moments in contrast to when Conrad, in Paris after her pre-birthday dinner, asks her if he should call her Isabel and she replies with "I want you to call me Belly", it feels like we've (they've) finally arrived. She went to Paris and reinvented herself a bit: the new haircut, becoming close to fluent in another language, the friends that aren't the Fishers or Taylor, the big-girl bar job and school that she has established away from the Conrad/Jeremiah orbit. To all of the new people in her Paris life, she's Isabel. But she's never really escaping Belly. Maybe she thinks so at first, but that's because the road to self-acceptance is rarely ever smooth.

Conrad offering to call her Isabel, and her choosing "Belly" stands out to me for a few reasons. It suggests she no longer needs Conrad's validation (that she was seeking on the beach in S1) to feel like her grown-up-self is worthy. In S1, his failure to notice her growing up stung her because she was partly dependent on his gaze. In S3, she can be both Isabel and Belly. It also reframes her relationship to Conrad. She uses her agency to define how she's seen. He doesn't do that for her. That growth isn't about replacing who she was as a kid or a teen, but about being able to be and hold every version of herself with love and admiration.

But again, that road to self-acceptance is very rarely smooth (I said it already, but it bears repeating). That's how we get to the deeply unpleasant breakdown after they've had sex in her apartment. She was having a crisis out loud, not sure if Conrad loved her, or if he was just fulfilling what Susannah wanted for them (which is absurd but that sort of stifling self doubt is common). And he let her say it. He didn't shame her or guilt her, or get angry. And I think that, along with the visual reminder Laurel sent, the photo of her as a toddler, led her to run after Conrad's train and confess that "every version of me chooses you". Belly choosing and accepting herself is what leads her to Conrad. Self-acceptance is the cause and choosing Conrad is just the visible effect of that.