Impending doom
I am 20 (F) and have recently quit my addiction to gaming cold turkey 3 days ago. The thing is,, I’ve been playing for probably a little less than a year. I was pretty good about playing with moderation for the first part like 1-2 hours a day after work (I work full time as a CCMA). But for the past couple of months my addiction got pretty bad. I only played one game (Valorant) and i wasn’t even that good (peak gold 1) but for some reason i had a blast playing and would just be able to stay on for hours and hours. It got to a point where i completely messed up my sleep schedule, started to cancel plans with friends just to play, threw away my ministry in church and performance at work was plummeting. I would do all this knowing deep down this was a waste of time and I have no actual benefit playing this game. None of my irls play (super uncommon in the Slavic community especially for girls). And honestly i think it got to a point where i was just playing for the attention i got from men on that game which is very unhealthy for me and the type of person i am. I sat with my parents and had a long talk with them about my problem which led to me just packing my laptop and hiding it away. I signed up for the gym and started going with my brothers and i feel good, but there is just always a pit in my stomach in the moments where I’m not doing anything. When i scroll on social media and see content abt the game my heart sinks. I’m literally dreading the weekends because i know I’m not going to be busy and just going to be thinking of the game all day. It’s just wild because I’m reading a lot of these stories on this subreddit and there are people that have been gaming their whole lives and me probably 2 years in total (i played a bit in 2020 but then quit for 5 yrs) and theyre doing great after quitting. I’m gonna be honest i miss it a lot and it just feels like I’m trying to convince myself i don’t, like i literally don’t care it’s a waste of time i was having fun and it’s not like i was being an unemployed chud all day and playing i was actually doing things (i guess). Just wanting to know how i get this impending doom out of my life everytime i think about the game lol.
I’ve also never done this Reddit thing so sorry lol