pet loss
I am 25 years old and lost my cat 4 months ago. He was 14 years old, so we essentially grew up together. I can’t seem to move on or forget him, and I haven't felt okay since he passed—especially after going through the journey of his difficult illness with him.
I burst into tears whenever I see a photo, a video, or anything he loved around the house or in his food. Even a scene in a TV show, a movie, a song, or anything in the world that touches upon my loss—even remotely—leaves me crying. I can't stop myself, hold it in, move on, or forget him.
His personality was quite unique compared to ordinary cats; he had a strong, gentle, jealous, and affectionate demeanor. He was extremely close to me and comforted me through so many tough times and stressful periods. He always sensed how I felt and would come to support me on his own, staying by my side whenever I was upset or stressed—even when no one else noticed, he did. His favorite spot was my bed, where he always sat and slept while hugging my pillow, or on my chair if he was busy. There are so many other little details from those 14 years, especially since he was born in our home.
We had his mother and father, but we didn't love them the way we loved him. His father was very difficult and aggressive, so we had to give him to someone who could handle him. His mother passed away from a severe illness. He later sired four kittens; I put three up for adoption because I couldn't care for them all, but we kept the fourth—a female—because she was the youngest and still nursing. We eventually couldn't part with her, and when he passed away, she was 4 months old.
However, two months after his death, she suddenly disappeared from the house. We don't know if she slipped out, fell from a window or balcony and someone took her, or how it happened. I searched everywhere, asked everyone in our area, and posted flyers, but unfortunately, I never found her. She was my last remaining memory of him.
Honestly, I am emotionally exhausted from all of this, on top of my usual daily life stresses, and the burden has become too heavy for me to bear.