r/PetLossJourney

I am 25 years old and lost my cat 4 months ago. He was 14 years old, so we essentially grew up together. I can’t seem to move on or forget him, and I haven't felt okay since he passed—especially after going through the journey of his difficult illness with him.

I burst into tears whenever I see a photo, a video, or anything he loved around the house or in his food. Even a scene in a TV show, a movie, a song, or anything in the world that touches upon my loss—even remotely—leaves me crying. I can't stop myself, hold it in, move on, or forget him.

His personality was quite unique compared to ordinary cats; he had a strong, gentle, jealous, and affectionate demeanor. He was extremely close to me and comforted me through so many tough times and stressful periods. He always sensed how I felt and would come to support me on his own, staying by my side whenever I was upset or stressed—even when no one else noticed, he did. His favorite spot was my bed, where he always sat and slept while hugging my pillow, or on my chair if he was busy. There are so many other little details from those 14 years, especially since he was born in our home.

We had his mother and father, but we didn't love them the way we loved him. His father was very difficult and aggressive, so we had to give him to someone who could handle him. His mother passed away from a severe illness. He later sired four kittens; I put three up for adoption because I couldn't care for them all, but we kept the fourth—a female—because she was the youngest and still nursing. We eventually couldn't part with her, and when he passed away, she was 4 months old.

However, two months after his death, she suddenly disappeared from the house. We don't know if she slipped out, fell from a window or balcony and someone took her, or how it happened. I searched everywhere, asked everyone in our area, and posted flyers, but unfortunately, I never found her. She was my last remaining memory of him.

Honestly, I am emotionally exhausted from all of this, on top of my usual daily life stresses, and the burden has become too heavy for me to bear.

We just lost our baby boy 3 days ago. I'm devastated, heartbroken and totally wrecked. I don't even feel hunger and everything at home reminds me of him. The moment we were at the vet with him during his final hours keeps on re playing on my mind. He's been with us for 15 years and I can say that he was a spoiled boy since he's our only baby boy in the family, he was like a Daddy's boy". He has lived a good life full of love, support and care from us. We lost him to Cushings disease...horrible lifelong condition that has no cure but only management.

He was like a "son" to me, I know most people won't understand but my dogs are family to me. Our emotional bond for 15 years was so profound and unconditional. I'm thinking if he's already at peace now that he's gone. Is he happy now? Is he in the rainbow bridge? I miss him so so much that cry all the time. When I'm at work I just go to the washroom and cry my heart out. The pain in my chest is too much...I can't even feel hunger or thirst, I can only feel this deep sadness inside me. My heart cries "I miss my dog, I want my dog, I need my dog" But I know things won't be the same as it used to be, no more happiness waiting at the garage door wagging his tail and barking as if he's saying "mommy's here!", no more following me around the house, kitchen toilet and shower, no more cuddles and kissy kissy and nose bites, no more sounds of walking paws on the floor..no more happiness...and it hurts so so much. I always keep on praying for my dog's health and i pray that they would still live long but maybe God has plans and it really is his time to go...I don't know, I don't understand. My heart is broken. It's like a huge part of my heart was ripped off and now I feel incomplete..I don't know how this grief will last, the only thing I know is I want to cry, cry and cry my heart aches so much.

It’s been 10 days since her passing..
She was only three years old and was taken by what my family and I think, a coyote.

My parents live on a mountain in a secluded forestry area upstate, NY. I had taken a few weeks off to study for an exam and my mind was filled with pressure..
My Kokoni, Xena, often visits (for 3 years now) as they have more house and land space for her, plus their own Shorkie, Grizzly, who was her best friend/ brother.

Xena was the best dog I’ve ever encountered. She had an excellent recall, the most loyal and loving. She was so easy to love. Out of all, she was also super protective for us and her brother.

10 days ago, around 10 am, she was very eager to go outside. I, unfortunately, let her. I didn’t think anything by it. For years, it was normal to let her outside with grizzly to either play or potty for a few minutes and then call them inside, which they would right away.

I can’t help but feel immense guilt… and downright stupid. My family is telling me not to blame myself, but it’s hard not to knowing that if I had just not opened the door, she would be here with me… one of the hardest part that in the moment of it happening, I heard her squeal and the sound of her last breath beat taken… It was a few feet by the house. I remember I ran out frantically as soon as I heard her.. but she was gone. No sign of her. No Blood no signs of scuffle. Just the sound of her dying replaying in my head..

My family and I have searched the grounds for days.. there is no luck in finding any piece of her..

I wish I was less careless… that is simple decision could have extended her short life..

I’m trying my best to accept what has happened, learn from it, and make the best of tomorrow. But I am struggling for sure. Those who tell me “you’re so strong,” have me responding in my head with “I don’t want to HAVE to be strong, I want her to be here.”
I’m trying to take on my daily life, as we know the world doesn’t stop. It’s been very hard… this is a pain I never thought I’d have to learn to live with..

I’m still struggling to believe that Lenny is gone. He was such a huge part of my life and somehow became part of my everyday routine without me even realizing it. I never thought I’d have to say goodbye to him this soon.

The house feels so empty without him. I miss hearing him around the house, seeing him curled up in his favorite spots, and even the little things he used to do that would annoy me sometimes. I’d give anything to have one more normal day with him.

Lenny gave me so many memories that I’ll always be grateful for. He wasn’t just a pet to me—he was family, and I’m going to miss him more than I can put into words. Rest peacefully, Lenny. You were so loved. ❤️

For anyone who has lost a cat they were really close to, how did you cope with the loss? I’d really appreciate any advice because I’m having a hard time figuring out how to move forward without him.

My dog of 16 years passed away July 6th. I miss him so much damn much it hurts so badly. I keep crying thinking of him. I have 2 other pets and my 6 month old to keep me busy but the pain is great. I am trying so hard to focus but I miss my baby boy!

Hi everyone.

First, I will post a tribute to my baby girl in the coming days. Today is my 10th day without her and I just haven’t had the will to sit down and write my tribute and social posts yet. I plan to, and I want to honor her, but it’s something I’ve always dreaded doing.

Right now, though, I am struggling so hard with my decision to put her to sleep and the afterlife care I chose (cremation).

First, she was a beautiful tabby Abyssinian mix who was 16 years old. She had oral squamous cell carcinoma in her upper jaw/neck area. The vet did a procedure just after I found it, in May, where she obtained cells from it with a needle. She was unable to determine at that time that it was SCC. She could not take a biopsy without breaking her jaw, so she didn’t. We didn’t know what the lump was, but tried a couple of antibiotics in case it was an infection of some sort. In the time between May and August 7, the day I had to let her go, she continued to eat and snuggle and be mostly herself, though I could tell she didn’t feel great, either.

In that time, I can’t help but wonder why I didn’t seek more second opinions or try to find cancer trials even though we didn’t know it was cancer yet. I trust my vet very much and she always took excellent care of Phoebe, but I didn’t get a second opinion until the very end. I’ll regret that decision forever, even though my vet said radiation at her age would have been extremely hard on her. She was pretty spry until the end, so I just wonder if she could have handled it. She was eating until the end, but especially the last week (after another procedure where the vet removed her teeth on the tumor side, which allowed her to remove a piece of it and confirm it was cancer) and especially after the last procedure she was clearly in pain when she ate. That, and both vets’ recommendations that euthanasia was the best choice, is what led me to make the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

And as for the decision to put her to sleep and get her cremated. First, I didn’t ask for an extra minute to say goodbye to her. I don’t know why I didn’t. It all happened so fast. Of course in the days leading up to it I took time from work and I held her and talked to her a lot. But that morning I just can’t help but regret not asking for one more minute with her. I held her throughout the process but I was a total mess. I was just crying and spilling it all out to her: that I loved her. That I was so sorry. That she put up with me all these years. That she taught me so much. That I wanted to take her pain from her and make it mine. I was sobbing and almost hyperventilating while saying it all. I wish I had remained more calm for her. People say their pet’s passing was peaceful and even though hers was here at home with me, I felt that it was not peaceful because of my condition at that moment. I just couldn’t help it. It came over me and I was overwhelmed by it being our last moments together.

And the cremation. Why did I do that? Why did I send her off to get cremated when I have a perfectly good backyard I could have buried her in? She never liked going outside because I had lived in apartments up until a few months ago when I bought my first house, so she never got used to going outside. When I would bring her outside she would tremble and cling to me. I thought I should not bury her where she was scared to be, and that she belongs inside with me. I also feared what would happen to her remains if I had to move and leave her behind. I worried about her getting dug up. It’s very hot, right now, where I live, and I couldn’t take the thought of her in the hot ground. Or the cold ground when winter comes. I know it’s natural, but I also couldn’t bear the thought of bugs crawling all over my beautiful girl. I thought about getting a huge planter and burying her in that so I could always take her with me, but I just didn’t have the funds or honestly the mental energy to figure that out in time. I’m disappointed in myself. How do I know the ashes I get back are hers? And now I have to deal with her being reduced to a bag of ashes? They’re dropping her off to me this afternoon and I know it’s going to wreck me.

I just want to hear from any of you who have had any of these similar thoughts and I’m so sorry any of us are here and going through this. I’ve never felt grief like this in my life. I feel like I will never be the same and I will never feel quite as happy as I did about anything when she was here.

Hi everyone, I lost my cat almost three months ago and I don’t know how to handle it. I thought by now I would be able to keep it together but every time I think of her I start to sob, and am in a terrible mood the rest of the day. I still think she is here sometimes when I see a black sweater on my chair, a shadow where she always used to sleep, or a creaking noise that sounds like her squeaky meow. Me and my mom had to put her down in late May because she was so sick with liver disease, tooth problems, cancer, dementia, and stuff we probably never knew about. She was 18 when she passed and I am 20, so I maybe have one memory before her. It feels like I lost a sister, she’s always been by my side and now having three months without her I get this guilty feeling of not being able to pet her or brush her but I know it was the right thing to do since she was in so much pain. The only thing I have left of her are some whiskers I collected and her food bowl. I need advice on how to cope, as well as how to cope with the feeling of guilt I have since I love cats and want to get one once I finish college, I feel horrible bc my brain tells me I’m trying to replace her one day which I never want to do. Any advice or related stories would help a ton. I’m sorry if this was kind of incoherent I’ve honestly been crying while writing this because it’s too much to bear.