u/Lomvi_Bird

Hi guys, I just wanted to offer a different perspective on Marissa's behavior because I actually see a lot of myself in her.
Three years ago I met an American guy (here on Reddit, actually). We visited each other several times in our respective countries. I'm divorced, I have sole custody of my children, I have a family with strong opinions about everything I do, and I have a demanding job. I often feel the weight of all that responsibility.
When we met in the US, I got to escape all of that. It felt like being on vacation. I could just be myself without constantly thinking about everything weighing on me. And of course, he was comfortable and confident in his own country, surrounded by familiar customs and routines. I could lean on him, and that felt really nice.
Unfortunately, it was never the same when he came to visit me. Here, I was a different person. I had all of those responsibilities, everyone's eyes on me, everyone expecting me to take care of things. When he came, I had to balance all of that, and he just couldn't understand it.
On top of that, just like Marissa said, it sometimes felt like having another child. If I asked what he wanted to do, he'd just say he didn't know. He spent a lot of time scrolling on his phone. He rarely took initiative. He didn't want to drive the car or take the lead on anything. I had to plan everything, make every decision, and carry all the responsibility. His attitude was always, "I'm happy with whatever you want. I'm just here to see you."
He couldn't understand my side of it, and instead felt that I had become cold and distant. In the end, that's why we broke up.
So while I don't think Marissa handles everything perfectly, I do understand her to some extent. She has two children who come first, she knows they may not automatically accept the partner she chooses, she has a demanding family, and she has a demanding career. Taking care of a grown man on top of all that can simply become too much.

I wish people wrote where in the world they are, when they post pictures from their balcony gardens. Can we start writing where in the world we are based when we post? It’s important for knowing the season, climate, what grows where (H) etc.