u/Long_Dragonfly_3067

His belief that women tend to ruin men's lives and Madonna being jealous of him because he's a man are particularly strinking to me.

Michael growing up in an environment where his father and brothers were exposing him to strippers and sex with groupies is relevant to this conversation. Still, as a man in his 40s he hadn't deconstructed the misogynistic beliefs he held.

Michael's voice was noticeably deeper when he was a kid than when he started using that high pitched voice as an adult. It seems like somewhere around his late teens Michael felt uncomfortable with the deepening of his voice and decided to put on that little voice.

It's kinda crazy how deep his natural voice is at 0:39 compared to the voice he put on most of the time. He was very committed to hiding that voice as a young adult. In his later years he seems to get more comfortable speaking with a deeper voice and/or tired of using a fake one.

Michael talking about his voice in the Shmuley tapes: «I did something that was bad. I'm a natural tenor, but I used to force my voice to go higher because I never wanted to grow up. I always wanted to sound like a kid. And when I won my Grammy Award for Thriller, if you listen to me speak, I sound like a kid»

Given Michael's self-image issues, his choice of marrying white women and having non-black children, his track record with black organizations is quite interesting. I went on a rabbit hole about his activities within the Black community:

In 1986 Michael set up his foundation with the United Negro College fund and donated $1.5 million to help underprivileged black students access higher education and another 600.000$ in 1988. In 1992 he made an appearance on the UNCF's "Parade of Stars" telethon to help raise money for 41 HBCU's. In 1987 he supported the NAACP's campaign against racism and in January 1993 he made his first appearance at the NAACP Image Awards. He made another appearance the following year to claim his innocence after the allegations.

He was being supportive of the black community and standing up for good causes. But his association with the Nation Of Islam was so odd. In case you don't know, the NOI is an organization based on black nationalism and an altered version of Islam, that advocates for the creation of a separate state for African-Americans. They're highly controversial for antisemitic, homophobic, sexist beliefs and hate speech against other races. I don't think Michael believed in most of the stuff they preach, which is why his involvement with them is weird. Allegedly his association with the group's leader, Louis Farrakhan, began in the 80s. Farrakhan claimed that in 1995 Michael agreed to perform at their Million Man March, but after his management prevented him from doing so Michael pulled out and quietly donated $100.000 to the event.

He was publicly associated with the NOI for the first time in 2003, right after the Neverland raid. Former members of Michael's camp including Grace Rwaramba claimed that NOI members took over Michael's personal security and were involved in his legal and business affairs, often taking advantage of him financially. NOI initially denied any involvement with Michael, even tho it was true. Tom Mesereau said that he made Michael cut ties with the group out of concern for media scrutiny and the bad impression it would make on a predominantly white jury from a conservative area.

His involvements with black institutions don't change my mind about the self-hate I think he had, but it shows that his relationship with blackness was probably more complex than many people think. He could've been overcompensating or only hating his own physical blackness while being proud of his cultural identity.

Michael chose to have white children (plus Blanket who doesn't look half black either) but cut their biological mothers out of their lives and wanted them to be raised by black women. He chose Grace Rwaramba (who was previously his secretary) to be their nanny. Wanted his mother Katherine to take care of the kids in case something happened to him (not that surprising, but still wouldn't let Debbie Rowe raise them). And in his will he wrote that in case something happened to Katherine, he wanted Diana Ross to be their guardian.

According to Paris, Michael was telling them that they were black and should to be proud of it. There was a point where Michael was getting closer to the black nationalist group Nation Of Islam, known for their anti-white and anti-jewish sentiments, which caused Debbie Rowe to sue for custody of her white jewish children.

It's interesting how Michael didn't want to pass down his genes and disliked blackness on himself, but wanted his kids to identify with black people and be around them. He clearly had issues with body dysmorpia but I don't think this shows a disdain for black people as a whole.