u/Loose-Ad-2742

35M with a stable job and two young kids. On the outside I’m functioning fine and handling my responsibilities, but internally I’ve been feeling quite flat, bored and low on motivation for a long time.

Most things don’t really engage me or bring much enjoyment unless they’re exceptional. I recently started ADHD medication but haven’t noticed much effect so far.

I’m looking for Discord servers with other adults in a similar situation — people with jobs and families who are still functioning but dealing with this kind of emotional flatness and low internal drive. I’d prefer smaller or more mature communities rather than big public servers.

I’m open to a few different types:

General/casual servers (movies, random conversation, hanging out)

Servers focused on MMOs or gaming with older players

Servers related to ADHD / twice-exceptional experiences, as long as the overall tone is practical rather than purely venting-focused

If you know of any decent, smaller servers that fit this kind of vibe, I’d appreciate the recommendations.

Thanks.

In October 2026 I (m35) had my first ever kidney stone. The pain was intense and I ended up in the hospital where I got a scan. There it showed it was 3 to 4mms and would pass on it's own. Got some pain meds and was sent on my way.
After about a week the pain just kind of went away and I stopped feeling it.

After that I got monthly scans to check how it was progressing.
In February 2026 I was informed it was finally gone.
At no point did I feel it leave my body, I do not recall any other signs such as bloody urine or anything of the sorts.

End of April 2026 I suddenly felt the old familiar pain again and quickly recognized that it was back. I immediately called my GP and got an appointment. He told me he used to be a urologist and therefor knew a lot about the subject. He then told me there was no way it was a new stone, it would be too soon after an all clear scan.

2 days later I was picked up by an ambulance. I was in an intense pain for 4 hours and it showed no signs of going away. Spent the night on all kinds of pain relief until I could get a scan in the morning.

Surprise surprise, it was a stone after all, approx 5mms and it showed no signs of budging, they were going to have to put me under and extract it.
I asked the urologist how it was possible and he said he did not know but normally a stone this size takes about 500 days to form. It could be that it was a specific type of stone that forms very fast and they would send it to the labs to find out.

A few days later I called and was told by a receptionist that if they found something they would inform me otherwise I would hear nothing. It has now been over 2 weeks since that call.

I have 2 theories as to what could have happened and would like to run it by you guys, would like to know what you guys think.

Theory 1: It was the same stone all along, it was somehow missed during the last scan in February and grew and possibly even moved back up and got stuck.
I don't know if I will ever find out if this is the case, can I ask for a second opinion on a 3-4 month old scan in Denmark?

Theory 2: Just after the scan in February I got the norovirus and I got it BAD. I will spare you the nasty details but the short of it was that I was likely severely, totally dehydrated for about 24 hours.
Can 1 bad day be enough to set in motion a 5 mm stone growth in 3 about months time?

I would love to hear your thoughts or if you have any other ideas of what could have happened.