AITA-If I don’t want my 27y/o stepson to live with us?
My wife (49) and I (43) have been married for 6 years. She has two sons, one 30 the other 27, so I’ve only known them as grown men. When we got married the youngest was in college while the oldest lived with his grandmother and with no job.
When we bought our house we attempted to move the oldest in, with the expectation that he get a job. That only lasted a year, because he refused to work. He is now back at his grandmothers and still doesn’t work (5years later). The youngest moved in with us for two years after he finished school (age 24-25)which he barely passed. During those two years he worked only a part time job and payed no bills of his own (his mother insisted he not). He spent all of his money on alcohol, played computer games all the time and trashed the spaces he was in. Oh yeah..and he got a DUI.
To be clear, there is no substance abuse taking place here beyond irresponsible drinking. These grown men unfortunately are just very comfortable with allowing others to take care of them. They’ve been and continue to be coddled by mom and grandma.
Fast forward, he did enroll and get accepted for a physical therapy program and he moved away to do that. After one year he got suspended for a whole year for a reason I’m not even going to mention. The claims by him and his mom are that he’s changed and this is only temporary until he goes back, but my trust has been shattered and I have hard boundaries set that I’m unwilling to bend on. I 100% will make him leave or will leave myself if anything comes close to repeating itself as it was before, and that goes for my wife too. So….AITA for preferring he just not live here at all to avoid the possibilities all together? I imagine that suggestion would very well also result in my marriage ending, but I feel like prioritizing my mental health is more important at this point. I just can’t deal with that situation any more.