His porn addiction on top of the abuse
Hi everyone just going through a situation right now and wanted to hear your opinions, just needing some help so plz be kind. (not sure if this needs NSFW, but did it in case)
I have been with my bf for 9 years now (we are in our 20s) he is a very manipulative person as i'm sure you have all been through. He's done everything bad you can imagine, from the emotional abuse, the physical and cheating. But with all of this he can be the nicest person on earth, knowing what I like, knowing how to care for me etc, which I guess is why I have stayed so long and still felt love.
However recently i've felt a big switch in how I feel about him and being around him, I have seen that he has a massive porn addiction and endless files of girls across all sites and paying for their content every week from onlyfans. He looks at this multiple times a day and its really affecting me. It just feels like a massive betrayal. And deep down it hurts more because this has been going on since the day I found out he cheated. I cannot bring this up with him (I have in the past and he gets emotionally and sometimes physically abusive).
What are some of your thoughts on this? I don't have any one I can talk to about this (due to him scaring everyone away).
I just want to gain the strength to not care anymore so I can gather the courage to leave.