u/Loud-Translator3389

Throwaway account to just drop this in without it flooding my main. I am a 34 year old male who is a few months shy of 35, so that is something to consider. I've dreamed of being a special operations force operator such as a SEAL, PJ, or Army Ranger since I was a child and after reading about Jason Everman, Johnny Kim, and Nicholas Irving as well as reading The Guerilla Factory and The Chosen Soldier I decided to push myself to join Special Forces via Rangers as many of the former members I reached out to when I was younger agreed that the experience of being a Ranger would better mature me than coming in as an 18x. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up it was always some variation of an operator, never the stereotypical answers of professional athlete, rockstar, or astronaut. I always wanted to be a DA operator, which is why I enlisted instead of going for my commission despite having a college degree; I didn't want to plan the mission, I wanted to execute it. I enlisted in the army back when I was younger with an Option 40, but I contracted double pneumonia while in the pipeline and got dropped. Finished my contract as a regular 11 series and separated after fulfilling my contract. I tried during my time in service multiple times to put in for another shot, but command always kicked back my packets because they said they needed me for training (which meant kicking rocks on the company footprint or sweeping the motor pool because Sergeant Major was coming by to do an inspection). I got out and went back to school and got a master's degree in engineering with the intention of pivoting and hanging up my SOF dreams, but I never could quite let them go. I figured I was too old and now I'm no where near my physical capabilities back when I was in, but it's still the only thing I've ever wanted to do. Now I've aged out of a good number of the pipelines, even with an age waiver I thought it was a waste of time, but I heard how David Goggins got another shot at being a PJ back in March after getting out of the Navy and working as a wildland firefighter. I'm by no means on his level, but I felt something reawaken in me and felt like trying again but I'm worried I'm too far gone. I have been out for so long, and I'm so out of shape. I'm not full-on couch potato, but the infantry definitely did a number on my knees and I haven't run a 13 minute 2 mile in quite a while. I've also put on some weight and need to slim down to maximize my pull-up score. I've looked into NGSF and thought about SFRE and trying out for either the 19th or 20th groups, but always felt like as someone who wasn't in an AD ODA I'd be intruding and not a real SF soldier. Most of those guys were in one of the active groups and transitioned to NG to maintain themselves and keep doing the job while moving onto a new career. Haven't found many people who went in to NGSF with no prior special operations experience in one of the active components to get their first hand accounts. I always thought I'd use the spec ops experience to move onto Special Activities, a long shot on top of a long shot I know but go big or go home, or move into HRT with the FBI. I've even toyed with the idea of just throwing caution to the wind and buying a plane ticket to Nice and trying out for the FFL. My main question is this: is it actually too late for me? I spent all of this time trying to achieve this dream I failed at when I was younger and have tried many things since to try to pivot to "make lemonade" but I didn't enjoy any of them. Even now, I got an engineering job offer that may or may not pan out, but if it does will probably enable me to be financially and professionally set for life, but I know if I take it that I will most likely be closing the spec ops door permanently. It just feels like I'd be settling and that no matter what my entire life would be one consolation prize. A silver medal of an existence because I chose to do the safe/smart thing instead of what I actually wanted to do even if I fail and have no kind of safety net. If anyone in the SOF community, past or present, could just give it to me straight, maybe I could finally acknowledge that this wasn't in the cards for me. I still have this drive to chase after this, but I'm torn. On one hand: I firmly believe in going after what you want and chasing your dreams even if everyone says it can't be done. On the other hand: I also don't want to be the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite who is stuck living in the past and misses out on life. Like the high school football star who won state, but peaked in high school and never did anything with his life after and now just hangs out at the local watering hole bending the ear of some poor, unfortunate soul night after night. Or worse yet, chase after this dream and achieve it only to be too old to do anything with it, like the old man The Janitor meets in Scrubs who burned away his entire youth to earn his law degree (J.D.) and missed out on everything else, except punching a whale apparently. Any input would be greatly appreciated, I just need some outside perspective because I'm just going in circles in my head.

Throwaway account to just drop this in without it flooding my main. I am a 34 year old male who is a few months shy of 35, so that is something to consider. I've dreamed of being a special operations force operator such as a SEAL, PJ, or Army Ranger since I was a child and after reading about Jason Everman, Johnny Kim, and Nicholas Irving as well as reading The Guerilla Factory and The Chosen Soldier I decided to push myself to join Special Forces via Rangers as many of the former members I reached out to when I was younger agreed that the experience of being a Ranger would better mature me than coming in as an 18x. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up it was always some variation of an operator, never the stereotypical answers of professional athlete, rockstar, or astronaut. I always wanted to be a DA operator, which is why I enlisted instead of going for my commission despite having a college degree; I didn't want to plan the mission, I wanted to execute it. I enlisted in the army back when I was younger with an Option 40, but I contracted double pneumonia while in the pipeline and got dropped. Finished my contract as a regular 11 series and separated after fulfilling my contract. I tried during my time in service multiple times to put in for another shot, but command always kicked back my packets because they said they needed me for training (which meant kicking rocks on the company footprint or sweeping the motor pool because Sergeant Major was coming by to do an inspection). I got out and went back to school and got a master's degree in engineering with the intention of pivoting and hanging up my SOF dreams, but I never could quite let them go. I figured I was too old and now I'm no where near my physical capabilities back when I was in, but it's still the only thing I've ever wanted to do. Now I've aged out of a good number of the pipelines, even with an age waiver I thought it was a waste of time, but I heard how David Goggins got another shot at being a PJ back in March after getting out of the Navy and working as a wildland firefighter. I'm by no means on his level, but I felt something reawaken in me and felt like trying again but I'm worried I'm too far gone. I have been out for so long, and I'm so out of shape. I'm not full-on couch potato, but the infantry definitely did a number on my knees and I haven't run a 13 minute 2 mile in quite a while. I've also put on some weight and need to slim down to maximize my pull-up score. I've looked into NGSF and thought about SFRE and trying out for either the 19th or 20th groups, but always felt like as someone who wasn't in an AD ODA I'd be intruding and not a real SF soldier. Most of those guys were in one of the active groups and transitioned to NG to maintain themselves and keep doing the job while moving onto a new career. Haven't found many people who went in to NGSF with no prior special operations experience in one of the active components to get their first hand accounts. I always thought I'd use the spec ops experience to move onto Special Activities, a long shot on top of a long shot I know but go big or go home, or move into HRT with the FBI. I've even toyed with the idea of just throwing caution to the wind and buying a plane ticket to Nice and trying out for the FFL. My main question is this: is it actually too late for me? I spent all of this time trying to achieve this dream I failed at when I was younger and have tried many things since to try to pivot to "make lemonade" but I didn't enjoy any of them. Even now, I got an engineering job offer that may or may not pan out, but if it does will probably enable me to be financially and professionally set for life, but I know if I take it that I will most likely be closing the spec ops door permanently. It just feels like I'd be settling and that no matter what my entire life would be one consolation prize. A silver medal of an existence because I chose to do the safe/smart thing instead of what I actually wanted to do even if I fail and have no kind of safety net. If anyone in the SOF community, past or present, could just give it to me straight, maybe I could finally acknowledge that this wasn't in the cards for me. I still have this drive to chase after this, but I'm torn. On one hand: I firmly believe in going after what you want and chasing your dreams even if everyone says it can't be done. On the other hand: I also don't want to be the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite who is stuck living in the past and misses out on life. Like the high school football star who won state, but peaked in high school and never did anything with his life after and now just hangs out at the local watering hole bending the ear of some poor, unfortunate soul night after night. Or worse yet, chase after this dream and achieve it only to be too old to do anything with it, like the old man The Janitor meets in Scrubs who burned away his entire youth to earn his law degree (J.D.) and missed out on everything else, except punching a whale apparently. Any input would be greatly appreciated, I just need some outside perspective because I'm just going in circles in my head.

Throwaway account to just drop this in without it flooding my main. I am a 34 year old male who is a few months shy of 35, so that is something to consider. I've dreamed of being a special operations force operator such as a SEAL, PJ, or Army Ranger since I was a child and after reading about Jason Everman, Johnny Kim, and Nicholas Irving as well as reading The Guerilla Factory and The Chosen Soldier I decided to push myself to join Special Forces via Rangers as many of the former members I reached out to when I was younger agreed that the experience of being a Ranger would better mature me than coming in as an 18x. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up it was always some variation of an operator, never the stereotypical answers of professional athlete, rockstar, or astronaut. I always wanted to be a DA operator, which is why I enlisted instead of going for my commission despite having a college degree; I didn't want to plan the mission, I wanted to execute it. I enlisted in the army back when I was younger with an Option 40, but I contracted double pneumonia while in the pipeline and got dropped. Finished my contract as a regular 11 series and separated after fulfilling my contract. I tried during my time in service multiple times to put in for another shot, but command always kicked back my packets because they said they needed me for training (which meant kicking rocks on the company footprint or sweeping the motor pool because Sergeant Major was coming by to do an inspection). I got out and went back to school and got a master's degree in engineering with the intention of pivoting and hanging up my SOF dreams, but I never could quite let them go. I figured I was too old and now I'm no where near my physical capabilities back when I was in, but it's still the only thing I've ever wanted to do. Now I've aged out of a good number of the pipelines, even with an age waiver I thought it was a waste of time, but I heard how David Goggins got another shot at being a PJ back in March after getting out of the Navy and working as a wildland firefighter. I'm by no means on his level, but I felt something reawaken in me and felt like trying again but I'm worried I'm too far gone. I have been out for so long, and I'm so out of shape. I'm not full-on couch potato, but the infantry definitely did a number on my knees and I haven't run a 13 minute 2 mile in quite a while. I've also put on some weight and need to slim down to maximize my pull-up score. I've looked into NGSF and thought about SFRE and trying out for either the 19th or 20th groups, but always felt like as someone who wasn't in an AD ODA I'd be intruding and not a real SF soldier. Most of those guys were in one of the active groups and transitioned to NG to maintain themselves and keep doing the job while moving onto a new career. Haven't found many people who went in to NGSF with no prior special operations experience in one of the active components to get their first hand accounts. I always thought I'd use the spec ops experience to move onto Special Activities, a long shot on top of a long shot I know but go big or go home, or move into HRT with the FBI. I've even toyed with the idea of just throwing caution to the wind and buying a plane ticket to Nice and trying out for the FFL. My main question is this: is it actually too late for me? I spent all of this time trying to achieve this dream I failed at when I was younger and have tried many things since to try to pivot to "make lemonade" but I didn't enjoy any of them. Even now, I got an engineering job offer that may or may not pan out, but if it does will probably enable me to be financially and professionally set for life, but I know if I take it that I will most likely be closing the spec ops door permanently. It just feels like I'd be settling and that no matter what my entire life would be one consolation prize. A silver medal of an existence because I chose to do the safe/smart thing instead of what I actually wanted to do even if I fail and have no kind of safety net. If anyone in the SOF community, past or present, could just give it to me straight, maybe I could finally acknowledge that this wasn't in the cards for me. I still have this drive to chase after this, but I'm torn. On one hand: I firmly believe in going after what you want and chasing your dreams even if everyone says it can't be done. On the other hand: I also don't want to be the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite who is stuck living in the past and misses out on life. Like the high school football star who won state, but peaked in high school and never did anything with his life after and now just hangs out at the local watering hole bending the ear of some poor, unfortunate soul night after night. Or worse yet, chase after this dream and achieve it only to be too old to do anything with it, like the old man The Janitor meets in Scrubs who burned away his entire youth to earn his law degree (J.D.) and missed out on everything else, except punching a whale apparently. Any input would be greatly appreciated, I just need some outside perspective because I'm just going in circles in my head.

Throwaway account to just drop this in without it flooding my main. I am a 34 year old male who is a few months shy of 35, so that is something to consider. I've dreamed of being a special operations force operator such as a SEAL, PJ, or Army Ranger since I was a child and after reading about Jason Everman, Johnny Kim, and Nicholas Irving as well as reading The Guerilla Factory and The Chosen Soldier I decided to push myself to join Special Forces via Rangers as many of the former members I reached out to when I was younger agreed that the experience of being a Ranger would better mature me than coming in as an 18x. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up it was always some variation of an operator, never the stereotypical answers of professional athlete, rockstar, or astronaut. I always wanted to be a DA operator, which is why I enlisted instead of going for my commission despite having a college degree; I didn't want to plan the mission, I wanted to execute it. I enlisted in the army back when I was younger with an Option 40, but I contracted double pneumonia while in the pipeline and got dropped. Finished my contract as a regular 11 series and separated after fulfilling my contract. I tried during my time in service multiple times to put in for another shot, but command always kicked back my packets because they said they needed me for training (which meant kicking rocks on the company footprint or sweeping the motor pool because Sergeant Major was coming by to do an inspection). I got out and went back to school and got a master's degree in engineering with the intention of pivoting and hanging up my SOF dreams, but I never could quite let them go. I figured I was too old and now I'm no where near my physical capabilities back when I was in, but it's still the only thing I've ever wanted to do. Now I've aged out of a good number of the pipelines, even with an age waiver I thought it was a waste of time, but I heard how David Goggins got another shot at being a PJ back in March after getting out of the Navy and working as a wildland firefighter. I'm by no means on his level, but I felt something reawaken in me and felt like trying again but I'm worried I'm too far gone. I have been out for so long, and I'm so out of shape. I'm not full-on couch potato, but the infantry definitely did a number on my knees and I haven't run a 13 minute 2 mile in quite a while. I've also put on some weight and need to slim down to maximize my pull-up score. I've looked into NGSF and thought about SFRE and trying out for either the 19th or 20th groups, but always felt like as someone who wasn't in an AD ODA I'd be intruding and not a real SF soldier. Most of those guys were in one of the active groups and transitioned to NG to maintain themselves and keep doing the job while moving onto a new career. Haven't found many people who went in to NGSF with no prior special operations experience in one of the active components to get their first hand accounts. I always thought I'd use the spec ops experience to move onto Special Activities, a long shot on top of a long shot I know but go big or go home, or move into HRT with the FBI. I've even toyed with the idea of just throwing caution to the wind and buying a plane ticket to Nice and trying out for the FFL. My main question is this: is it actually too late for me? I spent all of this time trying to achieve this dream I failed at when I was younger and have tried many things since to try to pivot to "make lemonade" but I didn't enjoy any of them. Even now, I got an engineering job offer that may or may not pan out, but if it does will probably enable me to be financially and professionally set for life, but I know if I take it that I will most likely be closing the spec ops door permanently. It just feels like I'd be settling and that no matter what my entire life would be one consolation prize. A silver medal of an existence because I chose to do the safe/smart thing instead of what I actually wanted to do even if I fail and have no kind of safety net. If anyone in the SOF community, past or present, could just give it to me straight, maybe I could finally acknowledge that this wasn't in the cards for me. I still have this drive to chase after this, but I'm torn. On one hand: I firmly believe in going after what you want and chasing your dreams even if everyone says it can't be done. On the other hand: I also don't want to be the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite who is stuck living in the past and misses out on life. Like the high school football star who won state, but peaked in high school and never did anything with his life after and now just hangs out at the local watering hole bending the ear of some poor, unfortunate soul night after night. Or worse yet, chase after this dream and achieve it only to be too old to do anything with it, like the old man The Janitor meets in Scrubs who burned away his entire youth to earn his law degree (J.D.) and missed out on everything else, except punching a whale apparently. Any input would be greatly appreciated, I just need some outside perspective because I'm just going in circles in my head.