Urges of cheating: talked with my partner last night.
I've been through a long journey, got clean of self- harm, got in a steady relationship I got a boyfriend,I'm studying a career, I even got off my meds with help of my psychiatrist, I'm at an all time high in my life, I'm living with my fiancee and I'm HAPPY ,but I'm not sexually satisfied, and what I'm asking of him is far above what he can do AND FAR ABOVE WHAT ANY HUMAN NEEDS AND (he's on SSRIs.) and I'm fixated on the same recurring sexual though: cheating on him, going with someone else for an hour and just having this itch scratched... Last night I told him I've been thinking of this, I hurt him and what for? I worry that I'm keeping this locked in and it could come out in the shape of a sex binge (something that has happened to me before in similar situations)...
At the same time I feel incredibly alone, no one close to me understands how desperate I get about sex, this is something that even if I try to talk with people... They don't get it... Even less my female friend who told me I sound like a male... I'm alone out here and I hope someone gets this message (vent) in a bottle.