Dating a man with criminal charges - advice please
Any and all advice is welcome. Throwaway obviously.
I’m 26F and decided to give online Christian dating another shot. I’d tried in the past with no real luck (ghosted, men who just wanted to be penpals etc). Since I don’t have many opportunities in real life to meet Christian men I thought I’d try online again.
I met a man a few weeks ago (I’ll call him B) who seemed for the most part to be a solid man of God with a pure heart and good intentions. There were a few “yellow flags” that I disregarded at the beginning - not even sure if they were yellow flags, they just seemed so. Flirting pretty quickly, discussions on relocating and who would move where after 2 days of talking, invited me to a weird serial killer presentation, differing convictions on cursing. Just small things that put me at unease.
I spoke to a close family friend about everything to get a perspective outside of my friend group of girls my age. Long story short she told me to give him a shot and not be too picky and she offered to run a background check for my safety.
During this time B keeps alluding to something that he needs to tell me and emphasizes that he’s anxious to tell me because it’s a lot, he’s lost friends over it, etc. We keep talking and have a few phone conversations that are awkward but good.
Two days ago, family friend reached out with results of the check - he was arrested and charged with attempted rape, kidnapping, sexual activity involving a minor, solicitation of a minor, and aggravated stalking 3 years ago. She tells me the rest of his record is very clean and nothing ever came of the charges.
That same night, B calls me to tell me about this situation that he’s been alluding to but not naming. He tells me his side (he does not know I already knew or that we did a check). From what I’ve gathered from him, he told me he went through a very dark time before coming to Jesus. He was a sex addict but all the women were over 18 except for one - his boss’ 17 year old daughter who he says “kept coming onto him”. He didn’t defend his actions and said he takes full responsibility. He explains to me that what happened between him and this 17 year old was purely online only, exchange of pictures, etc, no actual sex. Of course when the mother found out she pressed charges to the fullest extent (and I can’t blame her). He truly seems remorseful and seems like he’s changed. I am obviously cautious but I’m very torn on what to do.
One of my friends is vehemently against it and telling me to cut it off now, the others so far have been neutral and more of the stance of “seek God’s guidance and go with whichever way He guides, whether that’s continuing this or ending it”.
I am seeking advice from a Christian community as a scared, unsure, new to dating woman and I need any discernment or advice you can offer.
Thanks so much.