r/christiandatingadvice

Me and my ex girlfriend (who is muslim) have been broken up for a little over a month. I realize now that I took her for granted and broke her heart by breaking the promise of never lying to her. She was willing to forgive me but ultimately I was too ashamed to accept her back. She walked away from me but I want her back so much. The number one thing stopping me from going back is our differences in faith. I am christian and she is muslim. We discussed kids and the wedding and everything and it was a very positive conversation (I won't go into much detail, because this is not really what I am seeking advice on). I have really strengthened my relationship with God and have been working on building myself up to healing from the past version of me during this time. I love her so much and I have prayed about this. But this all feels like I am going against God. I don't know if I am not informed enough to understand what the bible or He says about all of this, but maybe someone could share some advice that would help me? Thank you all!

My girlfriend (20F) and I (22M) have been dating for a few months now and we have been running into some difficulties per se In our relationship.

For some background, She is the pastor’s daughter at a southern Baptist church in Maine. They moved here from North Carolina to start a church in a small town. Her mother seems to make all the rules in the house regarding what they can and can’t do. He dad doesn’t care but always says, “it’s your mom’s rule”. Just to list off some rules.
•we can’t ride alone in a vehicle together
•we can’t be alone in a room together
•no touching at all
•she goes through her phone
•if she forgets to put gas in the car one day, she has to fill everyone’s car for the whole week
•she doesn’t believe in hospitals, therapy, or vaccines
•if you have an issue, bottle it down and do not talk to anyone about it. It’s yours to figure out on your own.

Some aren’t bad but like some are just controlling and, she doesn’t fully agree with them but if she speaks out, her mom yells at her and will tell her it must not be in her heart to obey her.
Well I attend a Calvary Chapel church. We met through some family friends who talked about us and we decided to get to know each other. We both really like each other and we do plan to get married down the road but the marriage conversations started to show some differences in our faith lives.

She told me that her dad has a long list of requirements that I have to meet before I can marry her. One being how much I give in the church offering. They believe that you have to give 10% or greater of your weekly income every Sunday. I believe that you should give with your heart (which is typically more than 10% honestly but sometimes it can be less depending on what you have on you.) that became an issue because her dad is saying that he will call my pastor and ask him how much I donate to the church on a weekly basis. It’s not an issue because of how much I do give, it’s an issue because that makes it feel forced and honestly it’s between me and God, not me and him.

The next thing is church membership. I grew up Southern Baptist so I am familiar with it but I strongly disagree with it. It is not biblical and it adds a level of classism to the church that does not belong. I do understand that not all churches treat it that way but this is what she said to me, “when we see that someone is not a member, we know that they are not here for the real thing. They are just here for the ride.” And that offended me. I did let her know that and she apologized but she said that’s just how they see it and that I should become a member.

Next, the question of what church we will attend came up. She plays piano at her church and her dad is the pastor. She has no intention to ever leave her church but I think my church has better teaching styles and values. This ones hasn’t been a huge issue but it can become one in the future.

Next, I’m going to a wedding this week so I asked her if she wanted to go. She said she needed to ask her parents if we can ride together or if we can ride separately. They said no either way. We can’t ride together and it’s too far to go separate. (About 1 hour away) I didn’t understand why but I didn’t argue.

Next, we actually got permission to ride together alone one time for about 10 mins down the road. (Her parents followed us to every place) well she decided to ask again after about a week and a half and they blew up on her saying she should know better than to ask so soon and they she should not expect it to happen again.

Finally the hat… I wear hats to church all the time and nobody bats an eye. Well this past Sunday, I wore a hat at her church and her mom texted her about 5 times during the service telling me to take it off now. Let me just say, there was about 4 other people wearing at hat, men and women. The first time, I said no but after the 5th I just put it on the ground. During the night service I kept it in the whole time and I didn’t fold. If she wants to control my entire relationship that is one thing considering it’s with her daughter but when you single me out and try and control me then I draw the line. I told her I would gladly talk to her about it but she didn’t wanna hear it.

I need some advice, what do I do?? We both really like eachother but it’s getting harder and harder everyday

I am 24 years old and have never had a boyfriend or had sex/participated in hook up culture. I have recently decided to online date to get myself out there since I am shy and for the last 2 weeks i’ve had this overly consuming crippling anxiety and battle with my faith and I need help. I have recently started online dating and have matched with several different men who only want one thing and that is sex. Out of the several I have talked to only 3 have stayed in my rotation and 2 of them even got my personal phone number whereas the last one has my instagram to see my traveling photos. I have an “idea” of what I would like my relationship to look like but it’s i’d say 60/40 couple in faith vs worldly couple standards. I do believe women and men have separate roles but I do not believe women HAVE to be stay at home moms or just mothers in general and I hate this time that we are in where being a stay home at mom turned influencer is the only thing they want to do these days.

I have been praying a lot during this time because I am fully sinning and sending dirty messages and have sent nudes to 2 men which one I am still talking to. I know God is not a genie and just because i’m asking for something doesn’t mean it’ll just happen or go my exact request and way but i’ve been hanging on tight to him because i’m scared of the person i’ll become in this next chapter of my life. I want a husband who is religious, and when I say that I mean most importantly believe in God and prioritizing him in our relationship. I’d love if we could go to church together but I currently have stopped going due to my schedule (there is always time for God though) so beggars can’t be choosers but i’d love for us to be open and loving towards God especially when we become parents. I can’t say I want kids but I know if I met the right guy I would so i’ve been saying i’m open to it but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t have kids.

I have not sex because 1) the opportunity hasn’t presented itself 2) I know premarital sex is forbidden 3) sex is a big connection for me emotionally and physically

I feel like everyone is having sex. I go online to listen to people stories and it’s born again Christians who had 5 partners and slept with all of them but because they found their way again and waited 2 years and got married it’s considering “waiting” and i’m angry to be honest. I feel like everyone is having sex and no consequences will be made and I have such a fear of having sex before i’m married because I do not want to go to Hell yet everyone just keeps going on their merry way and I know you can’t judge and I don’t know everyone’s testimony and what they’ve gone through but come on i’ve been so good and feel like i’m being punished all of the time

A part of me just wants to ask for forgiveness and do it anyways but I know i’d hate myself if I did it and wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt eating at me for being disrespectful but pathetically enough I think going through that would strengthen my faith.

If someone understands what i’m trying to say or has experienced this back and forth and doubt and fear please help me. I want to put God above all else but my flesh is eating me alive and i’m about to break.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for Christian wisdom on something I’m trying to navigate as I consider reconciling with someone I previously dated. We are both 24, and while we still care for each other, one of the biggest challenges in our relationship has always been his mother’s involvement especially in spiritual matters.

Here are some examples of what I struggled with:

• He and I wanted to find a church that all of us could attend together sometimes including his mother, stepfather, and me. His mother rejected the idea because she insisted on attending only her specific church and expected him to do the same.

• Her church is about 50 minutes away, and I told him honestly that while I would attend with them occasionally, I could not commit to going every weekend because I have my own church close to home that I love and feel spiritually fed by.

• When she heard that I wasn’t committing 100% to her church, she privately called me “the devil,” saying that “the devil doesn’t like driving far to church.” She was always polite to my face, but behind the scenes she said things that were hurtful and untrue.

• She has made up things about me that were not accurate, even though I have never disrespected her. She is very nice in person, but her actions behind my back have caused confusion and pain.

I’ve told him that if we ever try again, I’m willing to forgive, but I need healthy boundaries. I don’t mind seeing his family, but I cannot be overly involved since it seems as I’ll be deemed to be “ bad” somehow in his moms eyes also want to have a boundary since I am not being respected. I also want to continue attending my own church for now, and if we ever marry, then we would attend together as a couple.

My question is this:
From a Christian perspective, what is a reasonable expectation for a partner when it comes to protecting the relationship from unhealthy parental influence?

How do you discern the difference between honoring parents and allowing a parent to have an unhealthy level of control or spiritual authority over an adult child’s relationship?

I want to approach this with grace and humility, but I also want to build a Christ‑centered relationship and future marriage not one where a parent’s influence continues to cause division.

Any biblical insight or personal experience would be appreciated.

I know a very scary title, hang with me. I’m (20F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been dating for almost 7 months. I am a Christian (church, praying, etc etc) while he has a more personal relationship with God versus a community based one. While I was in school I’d spend the night at his house, as it was just easier. We never had sex, as that is a clear boundary I have set and he 100% respects it. It’s not even something either of us want until marriage. However, I’ve moved back home which is 40 minutes away from him. My parents are STRONGLY against me sleeping over, which has made it harder for us to see each other between work, gas prices and the longer drive. I have multiple Christian friends who’s Christian parents let the sleepover at their boyfriends and vice versa. The sleepover is simply for us have more time together, save me gas money, and not have to drive back late at night. What are your thoughts on this dilemna? I’m just trying to see what other people think! Thanks in advance.

Ok I do not know if I’m doing this correctly but here it goes. A year and half ago I was seeing this guy I went to church with we really just clicked and talked for a month and then dated for three months, we talked every day for at lease an hour and I fell in love with him. I could tell he was a newer believer and had some little red flags, he cursed, didn’t have a devotional life, and listened to a lot of explicit music, and drank as well. None of these are huge things and I know the sanctification is a process and we are all in different place. I really liked him and I think loved him but I didn’t have peace about it. I would pray again and again as God if I should continue to see him and one day God told he was not my husband so as painful as it was I broke up with him. I had a really hard time getting over him. Fast forward to now he is a way stronger believer and all the red flags are gone and he’s kind of a complete different person then he was and now I’m not sure if it would be crazy to try to get him back is it possible he wasn’t my husband before but is now because he is different or should I complete shut down the possibility. I do not date for fun I only date to marry and want to do what God wants for me but now when I pray about it kind of just wait I’m not sure what to do also I’m dyslexic so if anything is spelled or phrased weird forgive me

I’ve been thinking a lot about how many Christians today focus mostly on chemistry, hobbies, or personality while dating, but barely discuss doctrine or spiritual beliefs.

For me, having the same understanding of salvation, scripture, and biblical values feels way more important than just getting along well. A relationship can seem perfect outwardly but still struggle if both people aren’t spiritually aligned.

How important is being equally yoked to you when considering a serious relationship?

Any and all advice is welcome. Throwaway obviously.

I’m 26F and decided to give online Christian dating another shot. I’d tried in the past with no real luck (ghosted, men who just wanted to be penpals etc). Since I don’t have many opportunities in real life to meet Christian men I thought I’d try online again.

I met a man a few weeks ago (I’ll call him B) who seemed for the most part to be a solid man of God with a pure heart and good intentions. There were a few “yellow flags” that I disregarded at the beginning - not even sure if they were yellow flags, they just seemed so. Flirting pretty quickly, discussions on relocating and who would move where after 2 days of talking, invited me to a weird serial killer presentation, differing convictions on cursing. Just small things that put me at unease.

I spoke to a close family friend about everything to get a perspective outside of my friend group of girls my age. Long story short she told me to give him a shot and not be too picky and she offered to run a background check for my safety.

During this time B keeps alluding to something that he needs to tell me and emphasizes that he’s anxious to tell me because it’s a lot, he’s lost friends over it, etc. We keep talking and have a few phone conversations that are awkward but good.

Two days ago, family friend reached out with results of the check - he was arrested and charged with attempted rape, kidnapping, sexual activity involving a minor, solicitation of a minor, and aggravated stalking 3 years ago. She tells me the rest of his record is very clean and nothing ever came of the charges.

That same night, B calls me to tell me about this situation that he’s been alluding to but not naming. He tells me his side (he does not know I already knew or that we did a check). From what I’ve gathered from him, he told me he went through a very dark time before coming to Jesus. He was a sex addict but all the women were over 18 except for one - his boss’ 17 year old daughter who he says “kept coming onto him”. He didn’t defend his actions and said he takes full responsibility. He explains to me that what happened between him and this 17 year old was purely online only, exchange of pictures, etc, no actual sex. Of course when the mother found out she pressed charges to the fullest extent (and I can’t blame her). He truly seems remorseful and seems like he’s changed. I am obviously cautious but I’m very torn on what to do.

One of my friends is vehemently against it and telling me to cut it off now, the others so far have been neutral and more of the stance of “seek God’s guidance and go with whichever way He guides, whether that’s continuing this or ending it”.

I am seeking advice from a Christian community as a scared, unsure, new to dating woman and I need any discernment or advice you can offer.

Thanks so much.

Hello,

I would like to first say, this is basically a continuation of my first post here. This girl and I have been dating for going on 6 weeks, we were friends at first for months, and then it progressed. We haven't been perfect, mainly my fault, with keeping the boundaries I set in order to prevent certain sinful things. Mainly it has been just small incidents of some lip kissing, and then since i have a truck, we would lay in the bed. We wouldn't be close but I noticed the last time we were kind of in the laying position for "spooning", didn't mean to but I also didn't correct it because i thought it was my perfectionism getting to me.

Anyway, Her and I entirely believe we are the people that God has for each other, she has some sin issues, nothing crazy, and it is the things I suffered from as well at her age and still am going through a bit of process for. The issue I have is my mind, my mind in either loud or can be very quiet voices just keeps repeating "she isn't it, she isn't it, she isn't it". Granted, to an extent, she might not be in the sense of not this version and I just have to be patient and help her. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this before? Her and I prayed on this relationship for weeks, possibly months, before we started and we have progressed so far so naturally. She doesn't give me anxiety or stress and I try my best to not do it to her. We both want to grow close to God together, we will pray before eating, and every now and then, trying to get better at it, we will pray over the relationship. We have opened up just about entirely to each other as well, from our past, to what we want and enjoy in the present and for the future.

I just can't get over this stupid mental thing, I am not sure what it is. Half of me says it is just my mind and that I am overthinking. I do have a slight amount of ADHD. I suffer from perfectionism as well and i am pretty sure scrupulosity because I have OCD. The other half is saying it is God and that this was not meant to be a thing and this or that. That side never gives me a concrete reason, just says "not it, not it, not it" and I want to say it is also because I am hyper-focusing on her sins. They are just some, minimal, swearing, gossiping, and saying "Jesus" when upset or confused that I can think of right now. She knows about them and she knows she has to work on them (its mainly only at work that it happens), her past is not the best and I said I will be patient and help her. I just also wonder if it is doubt as well since she is my first relationship that if this is all that is.

I guess i am just looking for help and guidance and prayer if you want. To me, it doesn't make sense for God to bring us 2 together in the way he did just to be like "Nah, not it chief". That's the one thing i keep remembering, its how he did it and what led to it. Thank you for reading.

I will add, for the 3 weeks before we started, I prayed about it for a long time and she did as well even long before I did, the first 2 weeks of it I just kept getting an indescribable love that kept growing, and that I still have. I did pray that if it wasn't supposed to be take it away. Did I still have hope and faith she was it then? Yes, however, I know it is God's hands. And everyday without fail or prompting it just kept growing for her.

Before I start I just want to say I am already praying, digging in the word, and even reading books such as the sacred search to help me right now.

So basically, I am currently on a break with my boyfriend of 4 years. We are each 19 now. He is an amazing guy. Loved me through many struggles, even when I said I wanted to break up, he was very loving. He can just talk with anyone and become friends immediately. He is involved in the church and pursuing his dream career. He makes so much time for me and initiates all of the changes we need to work on, but I am just not feeling romantic. Of course I did in the first few years, but it has since faded and now I am questioning marriage. We did not have true faith at 15, and we were having premarital sex. (Ew we were sooo young….) and I feel like once we took that away a part of the relationship faded. I used to live with his family because mine is messed up, and that mixed with the loss of physical intimacy caused me to begin subconsciously thinking of him as more of a brother than a boyfriend. That was 2 years ago and I’ve since been battling very on and off feeling. One week it’ll be obsession, one week it’ll be normal, one week I will feel suffocatingly trapped and like I am dooming my future self and children. My parents will not be good grandparents probably, and his dad is emotionally absent and I wish I could have some grandparent examples for my children, but that’s not on us. I am very confused obviously. But basically, he is this amazing guy, and I don’t have consistent feeling for him. If I stayed with him he would provide and support me and be a great dad, but I might miss out on having a romance in life. What should I do? I’ve been considering joining online dating with a fake name to see how I feel about other guys, but I don’t want to disrespect him at all. I know I am the bad guy in this and I promise I feel terrible but I can’t just suppress my feelings anymore I tried that and it didn’t help. Please please please give honest advice. I don’t plan on taking it like the gospel but I know it’s easier to see clearly from the outside. And guys, I really do love him. So much, but I don’t know if it’s romantic.

I’m a 26 year old Christian man and got out of a 6 year relationship last August. Recently I reconnected with a girl I knew from middle school, and honestly she’s treated me better than almost anyone I’ve dated. We get along really well and there’s genuine care there.

The only thing that’s been weighing on my mind is that she’s Muslim and I’m Christian. Earlier on, my mindset was more “if I ever had kids, I’d let them choose their beliefs for themselves.” But lately I’ve been getting closer to God, reading the Bible more, going to church, and trying to understand my faith on a deeper level. As that’s happening, I’ve started wondering if I’d ultimately want to raise my future kids Christian.

At the same time, religion honestly still confuses me in a lot of ways. We both grew up being taught our beliefs were true, and sometimes I struggle with understanding why that makes one of us “wrong.” I know we’re both spiritual people with good intentions, which is part of why this has been emotionally difficult for me.

I’m not looking to debate religion or disrespect Islam at all. I’m just genuinely trying to hear from people — especially Christians or Muslims who’ve been in interfaith relationships — about how you navigated it long term, especially when it comes to marriage, faith, and raising children.

Any advice is appreciated.

I am in my first sort-of relationship. He’s older than me and sexually experienced, but has never led me into any temptation, has never touched me and agreed to let me take everything as slow as I am comfortable with.

The thing is, I’m terrified of sex, I don’t think I could approach him for that until we are married if we even end up together at all — but we text constantly. I’ve been more and more tempted to say things over text to him because I know there are not real ‘consequences’ like there are for having actual intercourse.

I guess I would just like anyone’s advice on this because, well, I’m extremely tempted, but not sure if he would reciprocate anyway. He’s a very a Godly man but doesn’t belong to any denomination or follow an actual doctrine — he just got his first Bible to actually study the Word but his behavior is more morally correct than most Christian men I actually know.

Just would like advice on how to get over this temptation.

For starters, I want to preface this by saying I’m not trying to disrespect anyone’s religion. I believe in God myself. I actually think religion can be a beautiful thing. I just didn’t grow up religious, and building a relationship with God has been difficult and gradual for me. Honestly, my boyfriend is a huge reason I even became open to faith in the first place.

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. His entire family is Christian, and I genuinely love them so much.

I think my discomfort around certain religious beliefs started when my mom stopped attending a church she used to donate to because they preached homophobic ideology. My brother is gay, and she knew that since he was little. She couldn’t sit in a place that viewed her child differently because of who he was.

The women in my family have never believed homosexuality was wrong — not my mom, not my grandma, not even my 90-year-old great grandma.

The reason I’m posting is because recently my boyfriend and I had a deep conversation about religion, and I asked him where he stood on homosexuality. His dad is gay, so I was genuinely curious.

He told me: “If God says it’s a sin, then I’m going to believe it’s a sin.”

He also said he still loves his dad completely, would never judge him, and doesn’t think he’s “less than” in any way. He said he would simply pray for him.

But I can’t lie — it unsettled me deeply.

I love this man, and I’ve genuinely imagined a future with him, but I keep thinking about my brother. I cannot marry into homophobia. I just can’t. And I keep imagining a future where one of our children comes out to us someday and hearing, “I’ll pray for you.”

Maybe he would still love them unconditionally. I think he would. But I personally will never believe being gay is a sin.

Has anyone else navigated a relationship where your values around religion and homosexuality didn’t fully align? How did you approach those conversations, especially when love was still very much there?

For some context, my parents pay for my entire education at university since I am an international student and they would never cut me off, but they do still bankroll me and I am very Very grateful. My parents and I are first generation immigrants and were very close, partky because I’m an only child as well. The deal was that I couldn’t date during my a levels but that I could at university, however they seem to have gone back on their word.

I recently became friends with a guy Ive known for ages but haven’t been close with. We spent a lot of time together and we have become close and we’ve developed feelings for each other. We’ve been casually seeing each other for a few months now, going on dates and he’s recently expressed how he’s in it for the long haul and wants to pursue a serious relationship with me.

My parents have now moved the goalpost and dont want me to date until after my undergrad is over. I do not know what to do because I want to love and honour my parents but I really like this guy and hes Christian and fits everything I want in a partner. What do I do?

I (early 20s F) have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He is genuinely one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. He’s caring, patient, emotionally mature, family-oriented, and very serious about his faith. We’re both Christian and early in the relationship we agreed to wait until marriage before having sex because we wanted to center God in our relationship.

At first I fully agreed with it. I thought it would help me grow in discipline and self-control. But as time went on, I started struggling a lot more than I expected. I’ve always been a very openly sexual person and I honestly underestimated how difficult abstinence would be for me. My boyfriend has stayed extremely firm in his beliefs and boundaries, while I feel like I’ve been internally fighting myself for months.

The difficult part is that there’s another guy who has been in and out of my life for years. There’s always been chemistry/tension between us and we’ve kind of had this “wrong place, wrong time” dynamic. Recently we got close again and during Christmas we crossed a line physically before I stopped things because I felt guilty. I never told him I had a boyfriend, which I know was wrong.

Now he’s coming back to town soon and wants to see me again. I haven’t stopped thinking about him and I feel terrible about it because I genuinely love my boyfriend deeply and could honestly see myself marrying him someday.

What’s messing with my head is that one relationship feels emotionally safe, stable, loving, and aligned with my values, while the other feels exciting, passionate, and intensely physical. I feel guilty even typing that because it makes me sound shallow.

Part of me thinks this is really about discipline, boundaries, and emotional attachment more than just sex. Another part of me wonders if I’m suppressing a side of myself that will eventually become a problem later in marriage.

I know a lot of people will say “just break up” or “just cut the other guy off,” but emotionally it feels more complicated than that. I care about both people deeply and I’m scared of hurting everyone involved, including myself.

I guess I’m asking:
How do you know whether you’re protecting a good relationship or just staying because it feels safe?

(TL;DR: I’m in a loving Christian relationship where we decided to stay abstinent until marriage, but I’ve been struggling with sexual frustration and reconnecting with a guy I’ve had years of chemistry with. I genuinely love my boyfriend and see a future with him, but I can’t stop thinking about the other guy and feel torn between passion and stability/values. I feel guilty, confused, and scared of hurting everyone involved.)

I’m 26 and I’ve helped raise my two younger sisters (17 and 12). We’re from an African family culture where older siblings are very involved in raising younger ones, and I genuinely just love her so much.

My youngest sister is 12 and very quiet/private compared to the rest of us. She doesn’t open up easily, although she’s warmer one-on-one. My sister and I have knows she has a crush from church, but we’ve never talked about it openly. He came over with friends recently (this was a huge step and I see it as a positive thing because shes opening up her world to me more) and later we found a short video of them kissing (just a peck, nothing extreme).

I know this may sound small to some people, but for me it was a shock because she’s only 12. I was raised with very strong beliefs around physical boundaries, and I genuinely don’t know how to navigate this wisely.

What I DON’T want:
- shame
- screaming
- banning everything
- making her hide things more

But I also don’t want to be passive and accidentally normalize behavior that can quickly progress emotionally/physically at such a young age.

My struggle is this: how do you talk to a child about boundaries, sex, physical affection, etc. without unintentionally encouraging curiosity or experimentation? Especially when they’re secretive by nature?

I want her to feel safe talking to us, but I also feel a responsibility to protect her innocence and help her set strong boundaries before things escalate.

Christian parents/older siblings: how would you approach this conversation?

I’m 22F and yesterday ended a relationship with my 22M boyfriend, and I’m struggling with how to heal from it.

We met in August 2024. He was a newer believer, while I had already been walking with Christ for a few years. At first, I genuinely believed we were building something centered on faith and growth. He talked a lot about marriage, the future, and becoming a better man, and I wanted to believe him.

But over time, I started realizing there was a difference between words and fruit.

He came from a difficult home environment and was still living in a small two-bedroom apartment with his mom and older brother, sleeping on the couch in the living room at 22. I tried not to judge him for where he started, especially because I knew his upbringing lacked stability and encouragement. He also struggled with things like weed, pornography, lack of motivation, and inconsistency. I tried hard to encourage him instead of condemn him. I supported him through getting his drivers license, applying for opportunities, thinking about school, and trying to build direction for his life. I prayed with him, gave grace repeatedly, and genuinely wanted to see him succeed.

At the same time, my own life was moving forward. I finished my degree, got accepted into nursing school, and was selected for the Navy Nurse Program. My parents are helping me move into my own place soon, and I’ve been trying to grow deeper in my relationship with God. Earlier this year I started reading my Bible cover to cover for the first time, and honestly it felt like God started opening my eyes to a lot.

The hardest part was realizing that while I was trying to build a future, he seemed spiritually and emotionally stuck. Whenever things became difficult, he would go back to old habits instead of trusting God. He would come visit me and my family and be motivated for a while, but when he returned home, he’d fall right back into the same cycle. My mom once described me as feeling like a “vacation girlfriend,” and that hurt because it felt true.

We also struggled with sexual sin during the relationship, which brought a lot of conviction for me. Eventually I told him I didn’t want to continue dishonoring God in that way anymore. I wanted us to pursue something healthier and more intentional.

The breaking point came yesterday. He was supposed to fly down to help my family and me move, but there was drama with his mom, work, and poor communication. It turned into a back-and-forth situation all day, and during the argument he started saying I was “hindering” him. That crushed me because I had spent so much time trying to support and encourage him.

I finally realized I can’t carry someone into maturity. I can love someone, pray for them, encourage them, and still not be able to save them from their own choices.

So I ended it.

I blocked him on everything because I know I need space to heal. The hardest part is that he really was my best friend, and I saw so much potential in him. He just didn’t want to change himself at all. But I’m learning that it’s extremely hard to date potential.

For those who’ve gone through something similar, how did you heal after ending a relationship where you loved the person deeply, but knew they weren’t ready to grow with you? It breaks my hea