Recently married and already feel like it's falling apart
Hey everyone,
So, I've been married (my second marriage) for 2 months now (met my wife last November and starting dating later the same month). We kept celibate throughout our dating period but in all honesty the physical attraction just wasn't optimal (she has some weight to lose and just isn't beautiful or anything). I kept this internally and thought that what really matters is that she's also a believer (which i still think is the main priority when choosing a spouse as a Christian).
However, slowly but surely it's been eating me up from the inside and i just don't desire her much and as a result we're not having sex that often. She also has a certain level of insecurity and jealousy which doesn't help, while also showing signs of emotional distance for seemingly no reason and she's very easy to offend. She has mentioned that she's generally unhappy since we got married (different expectations mayb) and that we don't have a lot in common to talk about (moments of silence are quite normal). There's also a lack of her laughing at my jokes (while the others do), lack of any appreciation for any achievements on my end whatsoever and just a general lack of care toward me.
She does seem to close off easily and answering with a single word is what she does even when speaking to her relatives). She seems to be a great communicator over text but that's not the case in face-to-face scenarios so I'm the one who has to break the ice and unearth the issue usually. For example, she generally wears jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup etc. and I'd appreciate if she dresses more feminine more frequently. It's really a struggle since we started living together and i feel lost as i can't seem to find a rational solution. I almost feel like she is letting her true self come out, now that she ticked off the "get married" and "get pregnant" boxes.
Clearly, i was the one who proposed so that's on me, yet i feel like I've rushed into things and didn't really take my time to consider how my lack of genuine attraction for her will affect the marriage long-term. It hurts and it's painful because i realize that she deserves someone who cherishes her fully for what she is now, not what she might become if she starts dieting or hitting the gym. I keep praying and asking the Lord to interfere as this burden feels too heavy to bear.
And yeah, i know that what God has joined, let no men separate (Matthew 19:6). We also now have a baby on the way so things are even more complicated and my internal torment is even bigger.
I'd just to love to read about other people in similar situations or just general advice and opinions from fellow believers.