Suicide might be the only option
I have massively fucked up my life, time and time again I have been give a chance to redeem myself and every single time I fuck it up. When I’m going through my low points I always tell myself that I will remember how I feel in the moment and I’m going to change but I never do it’s like I just forget as soon as I get another chance. I had one final chance this week and I fucked it up. Now I have nothing : no prospects, no skills, no future and I have no one, I don’t have a single friend I can vent to. And every time I get close to a girl I just tell myself that she deserves better than a piece of shit like me . The amount of evidence that my life is destined to be a heaping pile of shit of my own making is undeniable. The only logical option is to kill myself. Then it all ends. Then i find peace. No more sleepless nights crying myself to sleep, no more not being able to look at myself if the mirror out of hatred, no more being a disappointment to everyone around me. Who know maybe I could do more good if I was dead then alive. My mom would finally know peace, she wouldn’t have to worry about what a piece of shit I am. Maybe it’s for the best. I’m sorry. Goodbye.