Perceived disconnect between leaders and members and how to reconcile faith with it
Does anyone else feel like there is a growing disconnect between ordinary members and modern church leadership?
I constantly hear these concerns brought up privately and online, but many members stay silent publicly because they fear being judged or labeled faithless.
For many struggling members, it is not the doctrine that is hardest to reconcile. It is leadership culture.
Many members feel apostles resemble executives, attorneys, academics, or board members more than humble spiritual shepherds. Leadership culture often appears focused on credentials, status, image, and institutional success rather than sacrifice, humility, conviction, and spiritual depth.
Many senior leaders appear to come from highly educated, upper-middle-class, white-collar backgrounds detached from ordinary struggles. Degrees such as PhDs and Juris Doctorates are frequently emphasized, which can unintentionally create a pedestal culture around status and professional achievement.
That feels opposite of scriptures teaching that God works through “the weak and simple” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:19) and that “God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise” (1 Corinthians 1:27).
Paul taught that “we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). The Lord also requires “a broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 9:20). Yet many members struggle to see modern leadership reflecting the hardship, sacrifice, persecution, and brokenness associated with biblical prophets, the original apostles, and Joseph Smith.
Christ “descended below all things” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:6). Biblical prophets were persecuted, imprisoned, rejected, and broken by life. The original apostles suffered poverty, persecution, torture, and martyrdom. Paul endured beatings, shipwrecks, hunger, imprisonment, and affliction. Joseph Smith endured persecution, betrayal, violence, imprisonment, public humiliation, and martyrdom.
Repeated patterns of leadership selection through family ties, social circles, and institutional networks create concerns about whether revelation is truly guiding callings. Members notice when apostles’ children become General Authorities, when daughters or wives of prominent leaders receive high-profile callings, and when leadership repeatedly comes from the same connected circles. Eyring’s son recently being called as a Seventy is one example many members immediately discussed because it reinforced concerns about insider culture and nepotism. Many members also feel women’s auxiliary leadership comes from privileged and highly connected church families. For converts, working-class women, single mothers, women facing hardship, or women outside upper-class church culture, these leaders can feel polished, sheltered, and disconnected from ordinary life
Some members also notice how often leaders mention pioneer ancestry or prominent church family connections in talks and devotionals. To many listeners, it can unintentionally sound more like status signaling than humility.
I had an experience years ago that reinforced my concern years again that I have tried to justify and explain ever since.
I personally interacted with the Burton and Weeks families several times, and they often came across as insulated and disconnected from ordinary struggles. Much of the surrounding culture felt focused on hierarchy, status, callings, influence, and institutional prestige rather than humility and Christlike service.
I was also around Elder Bruce Weeks’ family, where his son frequently spoke about his father being a Seventy. Elder Weeks himself lived an extremely wealthy lifestyle that many ordinary members struggle to reconcile with humble Christian discipleship. That experience affected me negatively for years, and I spent a long time trying to justify it.
Conference talks can also reinforce this disconnect. Talks from leaders such as Sister Freeman and Elder Gilbert have been discussed heavily online because many members felt the examples used came across as sheltered or disconnected from real-world suffering.
Stories involving expensive travel, temporary hardships, or struggles experienced while still having strong financial and social support systems can feel deeply out of touch to listeners facing poverty, infertility, abuse, addiction, disability, family collapse, or instability with no safety net.
There are also continuing concerns about transparency and historical honesty. Many members feel church leadership has sometimes minimized, sanitized, or avoided openly acknowledging difficult historical issues and past mistakes. For many members, the issue is not that mistakes happened — it is the perception that institutional image sometimes matters more than accountability.
At the same time, I think there are constructive ways to reconcile faith despite these frustrations.
Personally, I realized I could not base my testimony entirely on leaders because leaders are human. It is similar to my experiences with bishops. I have had incredible bishops and absolutely horrific bishops. I do not base my testimony on bishops — I base it on Christ.
Scripture repeatedly shows flawed leadership. Judas was called directly by Christ. Early apostles struggled and failed at times. Many early LDS leaders made serious mistakes, and some even apostatized.
For me, faith became easier to reconcile when I separated the gospel itself from institutional culture and individual personalities. I stopped expecting perfection from leaders and focused more directly on Christ, scripture, personal spiritual experiences, and the core teachings of the gospel.
I also think members should be able to voice concerns respectfully without immediately being dismissed as rebellious or faithless. Honest criticism and accountability are not the same thing as apostasy. Sometimes people speak up precisely because they still care.
Ultimately, I do not think most struggling members are asking for perfect leaders. I think they are asking for leaders who feel humble, transparent, relatable, spiritually grounded, authentic, and connected to the realities ordinary people actually live through every day.