u/Lower-Ad-6085

One day I was at the grocery store with my dad when a random man came up to him and said, "Hey! Haven’t seen you in forever!"

They talked for two minutes shook hands and the man left.

I immediately looked at my dad.

Who was that?

He said, ust someone I used to work with.

I believed that answer.

Then it happened again.

Another store. Another person.

Hey, man! How have you been?

Then another person recognized him at a restaurant.

At that point I was sure my dad was secretly famous and pretending to be normal.

I started watching the people, around us.

Enough strangers kept looking at him.

I leaned over. Whispered Why does everybody know you?

He. Said Because I’ve lived here for 40 years.

I was really disappointed.

I thought I was the child of a person.

It turned out my dad was just very old and had talked to a lot of people.

I never told him I had already imagined myself being interviewed on TV as the son of the famous man.

I was running late.

Coffee in one hand.

Backpack half-zipped.

Trying to catch my train before the doors closed.

I didn't make it.

The train pulled away...

And I just stood there, staring at it.

Well...

That was graceful.

A voice behind me laughed.

I turned around.

A girl was holding up my wallet.

You dropped this while sprinting.

My heart nearly stopped.

Not because she was beautiful...

Although she absolutely was.

Because my entire paycheck was inside that wallet.

I thanked her about ten times.

She smiled.

I figured you might need it more than I do.

We both ended up waiting for the next train.

Twenty minutes.

Too long to stand in awkward silence...

Too short to become friends.

Or so I thought.

We started talking.

First about how terrible we both were at mornings.

Then about our favorite foods.

Then about the places we wanted to visit someday.

Somehow...

Those twenty minutes disappeared.

When the next train arrived, I realized something.

We were laughing like we'd known each other for years.

As we got on, she looked at me and said,

You know...

If you hadn't missed your train...

We never would've met.

I smiled.

Maybe I wasn't late after all.

She laughed.

Before we reached her stop, she pulled out her phone.

I don't usually do this...

But I'd hate for this conversation to end here.

We exchanged numbers.

As the doors opened, she stepped onto the platform...

Turned around...

And waved with the biggest smile.

The train pulled away.

I never made it to work on time that day.

But for the first time in a long while...

Being late felt exactly like I was where I was supposed to be.

Sometimes...

Life closes one door...

Just so another one has a chance to smile at you.

So don't be afraid to start the conversation.

You never know...

The best part of your day might be standing right beside you, waiting for the next train.

For almost two weeks, food kept disappearing from my kitchen.

Not a lot.

Just... enough to make me question my sanity.

A handful of chips.

Two cookies.

Half a banana.

One slice of bread.

I live alone.

So naturally, my brain skipped every reasonable explanation and went straight to:

There's a tiny apartment burglar.

I even started testing my theory.

I counted the cookies.

Took a picture of the fridge.

Lined the cereal box up perfectly with the edge of the shelf like some discount detective.

Every morning...

Something had moved.

I was convinced I was starring in a low-budget mystery movie.

One night I stayed awake with all the lights off, determined to catch the "intruder."

Around 2 a.m...

I heard footsteps.

Very slow footsteps.

My heart was pounding.

I grabbed the nearest weapon I could find...

A toilet plunger.

Not exactly intimidating, but it was all I had.

The footsteps got closer.

Closer...

Closer...

Then...

A sleepy voice said,

Why are you standing in the dark holding a plunger?

It was me.

Well...

Sleepwalking me.

Apparently I'd been wandering into the kitchen every night, making myself snacks, then going back to bed with absolutely no memory of it.

The proof?

My roommate showed me a security camera clip.

There I was...

At 2:07 a.m...

Calmly eating peanut butter straight from the jar while giving the fridge a thumbs-up.

Then I bowed...

To the microwave.

And walked away like nothing had happened.

I spent two weeks trying to catch a mysterious midnight thief.

Turns out...

I was the criminal.

And judging by the evidence...

I'm a very polite one.

My grandpa had a simple rule that he always followed.

He would say that instructions are suggestions and he really meant it.

My grandpa said this with a lot of confidence so you almost wanted to believe him

One Christmas my grandpa bought a brand barbecue grill.

The box said it would take two hours to put it

My grandpa looked at the instructions smiled and then folded the paper in half.

Then he used the instructions to fix a table that was wobbly.

He said he could build the grill because he had done it before.

Three hours later we had a lot of parts.

We had four bolts and a shelf that was upside down.

One of the wheels was spinning sideways. The lid would only open if someone held it and another person kicked it.

My grandpa stood back. Said he was done.

He was really proud of what he had built.

My grandma looked at it for a few seconds. Then asked where you were supposed to put the food.

Nobody had an answer to that question.

The funny thing is that my grandpa would not say that anything was wrong.

He cooked burgers on the grill that evening. Acted like nothing was wrong.

Every time the lid fell off he would say that it was supposed to do that.

He said it was for ventilation.
Our neighbors even came over to watch my grandpa use the grill.

One of them asked if it was a kind of grill.

My grandpa said it was an edition.

For years after that whenever someone in my family was building something my grandpa would offer to help.

He would say that he was an expert.

But we all knew what would happen if he helped so we would hide the instructions.

To this day if something, in our house is crooked or backwards we do not need to ask who built it.

We already know it was my grandpa.

What's the funniest DIY disaster you've ever seen?