Is it normal to be worried about your doctor?
I chose “questioning” because I need advice, but this is also about a professional relationship.
I’m 25, autistic, and this Friday I was supposed to have jaw surgery with my doctor. I’ve been his patient for around 10 years. He did my first surgery and everything went really well. Him and the nurses were very kind and helped me relax, which made me trust him a lot.
This second surgery was also going to be used as a class with students watching. That made me nervous, but I agreed because he was the one doing the surgery and we had agreed no students would actually touch me.
After waiting for hours, I found out my doctor had suddenly gotten sick and ended up in the ER himself. My first reaction honestly wasn’t even about my surgery, I was immediately worried about him and wondering if he was seriously ill.
Then they called me in and started preparing me without really explaining anything. I asked if my doctor was there, and they said no, so I immediately said I didn’t want the surgery anymore.
Another doctor then came out and got aggressive with me about refusing. She said students would be working on me anyway, so it “didn’t matter.” At that point I had an autistic meltdown outside the surgery room. I was crying, shaking, hyperventilating, and completely unable to speak, so my mother had to speak for me.
We eventually left, and I was emotionally drained for days afterward. But even after all that, I kept hyper-focusing on the fact that my doctor was sick and worrying about him.
So I guess my questions are:
Is it normal to become this emotionally attached to or worried about a doctor after being their patient for so long?
How can I better advocate for myself during situations like this when meltdowns make me unable to speak?