found out my parents will not attend my wedding
Hello everyone,
This is just a venting post i know there is no easy solution to the situation.
Basically the story is that I have been dating my non jewish boyfriend for two years, and we want to get engaged in the next few months.
Ever since they found out about our relationship, they constantly brought up the topic of conversion and for a while it seemed like maybe he would consider it to make them happy. A few months ago, after doing some more research, he decided converting was not for him, not even a reform conversion. We are both atheists and he feels uncomfortable lying about his religious beliefs.
Yesterday, my mom broke the news to me that because he is not converting, they will not be attending my wedding. She said it in a pretty nice way honestly, and was basically saying that it would be too emotionally painful for my father and that if he attended he would just break down and she didn’t think it was in my best interest for my parents to be there. It hurt a lot but in a strange way I did feel like she was really trying to protect me.
I feel really heartbroken. Of course I knew this was the most likely outcome deep down, but I guess after spending so much time around non-jewish friends who would say stuff to me like “they’ll come around in the end” I was starting to really believe maybe they would come around. But obviously I think if you’re not in the Jewish world you are not going to have the full context. I would also say my dad is probably more personally religious than the average modern orthodox person. Like he talks about God and Judaism all the time and he was halachilcy stricter than a lot of my friends parents. Though he still picks and chooses plenty imho. Like he’s super strict about hechshers and davaning and intermarriage but then he’ll listen to music with womens voices and rip toilet paper on shabbos. i guess it’s a stupid religion that never made any sense in the first place. and trying to find logic to it is a losing game.
i just feel sad i guess and needed to vent. my father is so depressed over my relationship and it’s hard to watch the happiest thing in my life be his biggest tragedy. the worst part is i can picture exactly what he is feeling bc i used to believe the same things he believes. he’s thinking it’s the end of the jewish people and the ultimate failure of his life and all that kind of stuff. basically almost like i am dying or something.