Partner left me restrained, but did I over react?
My partner/Dom and I had engaged in a three day long scene where I was in deep submission for all 24 hours of those three days. I felt that the experience was very rewarding despite the extreme physical and mental strain it took. Especially because even though we’ve had problems in the relationship, me engaging with him this way seems to have lessened his mental load and made him (in general) calmer and happier.
But I think it gave him the impression that I can take harsher treatment now in our regular play. Recently I had accidentally broken a rule during a scene (in all honesty I really tried my hardest to be good but I think he pushed me hard enough to break it on purpose) and that had resulted in me being threatened to be left tied up while he went to bed.
I had let it go at first but it had actually happened for real when mixed with alcohol. I remember being really scared that I was going to vomit. And when he let me go in the morning my muscles and my head were absolutely screaming. A part of me thinks he only let me go because we both needed to go to work, and it would’ve gone on longer if we didn’t.
I was so mad at him for doing that to me, he tried to say it was okay because he was next to me the entire night and I was on my stomach and wasn’t gagged. Normally I would be okay with that kind of explanation but I can’t let this go. I’ve been told to leave before, but against my instinct I still stay. Because I really love him and despite our problems, I was never so scared that I was genuinely going to die.
But on the other hand I still wonder if this was just an honest mistake, like, he does get a lot of his ideas from porn so maybe he thought it was genuinely okay to do that. So that’s kind of what my question is, is there any real world like.. professionals or more experienced people that would do something like that and be okay with it?