Sex is good but…
It kinda isn’t. I (23m) and my gf (23f) have been dating for almost 1 year. Sex has always been pretty good, but we’ve kinda stalled out a bit over the last 5 months. She’s kinda sex shy / conservative, whereas I was always more positive / kinky side.
Anyway, sex has become pretty much rinse and repeat. She doesn’t like being on top (which she explains she feels uncomfortable with me seeing her in that position, which I’ve explained she needn’t worry about but not gonna make her do anything she’s not comfortable with) so we’re basically only left with missionary or ‘doggy’ (kinda like prone bone i guess) because proper doggy her butt is too exposed. She doesn’t like to give oral, she’s ok to receive it but conditionally to if she has recently showered etc etc. She doesn’t care about foreplay, so when I do give her oral she enjoys it but will get me out of there quickly and fast forward to the sex. She’s quite stubborn on kinks and stuff, when the topic is brought up in conversation or in regards to others, she is vocal on how she finds it strange and is glad I don’t have any of them. Except, I think a lot of kinks are fun and some aspects can be good to keep it fresh. Idk.
We’re going through a patch of long distance and the closest thing we get to sex is dirty talk while masturbating, but only ever written over text. For me that is kinda dull, and leaves me a bit sexually unsatisfied. No pictures or video calls etc. she sends zoomed out nudes but wouldn’t make anything more extreme than that.
There was a period 6-7 months ago where she was being a bit more experimental and sexy, but I was struggling with my own issues and wasn’t in the place to reciprocate at the time. I’m worried I kiboshed that for her. It makes me think our sex life definitely can change but idk how to do it. She’s sensitive to the topic and i don’t want it to come across as criticism. It’s not, I find her so attractive and would love her to feel more confident, and to see her self how I do. I also find sexual confidence more sex than anything. I have had partners like that and that was always great sex.
The short of it is, I find her to unintentionally be a bit selfish with sex, and don’t want to let it get in the way of our actual relationship which is the main priority for me. How do I get over this position, whilst still respecting her boundaries and not making her feel like I’m expecting more from her, or that she isn’t enough?