u/LuckyTowel4583

It's almost like I want them to engage with their shadow side and the contrast with their general self makes it feel electrifying. Them being generally gentle and soft also works almost as a safety net because I dont have to worry that they genuinely want to ruin me (if I judged the domme correctly ofc, since there is always room for misjudgements) and this is all just mental and emotional play for us. Ofc this only works for me when there is mutual respect and I am also not into loud aggression. But playful brattiness at times? Yes please!

I think thats also why in real life, I have always been into cute and caring women with moody, slightly bratty streaks who want to get their will in a relationship. A cutie who asks me to do her a favor (when I know she respects me ofc), or someone who tells me to do something that will benefit me and me then saying "yes, I will do so, for u" to give two examples. The duality makes them super exciting.

It's so complex psychologically (for many ppl) that it's hard to express in words unless u put in a lot of effort or are just generally good at articulating complex psychological phenomena. Honestly, my adhd brain is too lazy rn to think this through, but I bet a lot of ppl can intuitively or even explicitly pick up on what I am saying

I could be competely wrong here but I can see it being the case in two different ways:

1. Findommes out of spite using their beauty and feminity to prove themselves through receiving sends and gifts that they are not below men. I can also see that submanifest by them liking the feel dominant over the sub they are dominating (that doesnt necessarily mean that they dislike the respective sub, but that its at least a form of emotional release during play time).

2. Findommes liking the fact that a respectful sub is prioritizing her emotional wellbeing, which could be in contrast to them in the past she had many men talkding down or dismissing her. It then makes them feel like they are actually not inferior to men and that they can connect with a guy who is actually respectful which can be very refreshing.

Edit: by common, i dont mean that the majority operates that way, but that potentially a good chunk (maybe lets say 20%) do.

Since I am looking for a specific kind of findom dynamic that is a bit outside the stereotypical norm (I am not into something super harsh), I was wondering where to look for it. Are there specific subreddits I should look into?

Edit: maybe i should add that I am a very empathetic person, and I cannot really be in a dynamic with someone who isnt also totally into it sexually and emotionally cause that makes me feel super uncomfortable. I like mutual satisfaction and I never know if that will be reciprocated with specific findommes

And if so, how do u mix the two in your dynamics?

This person has posted on here at least two times within the past few days. They messaged me about something sex work related (findom) and were sending me fake pictures. They also contradicted themselves about their identity several times (I can send screenshots as proof for anyone interested).

So pls don't engage with that person, ty!