I need help before I lose her forever.
To give some context, I at the time, 18 m, joined the army. I met my wife when I was home on vacation in December of that same year. We stayed together even when I got deployed overseas. I started to notice some issues almost a year ago. (still in army, at this point i'm 20) I Felt like we were getting so distant. Because of the time difference I would call her on my lunch, and we would talk for about an hour before I had to go back to work, then right after work I would call her again, talk for maybe another hour or two, or at least text if one or both of us were busy. It got to a point where she would not call me for weeks, and eventually only text me 10 minutes before she went to bed. I love her, so i endured, often leaving very BIG hints that I missed her, often telling her almost every day for a month, even going out of my way to take leave for a week just to reconnect, but she never called, barley texting me once every 6 to 8 hours, sometimes not texting me at all. After a while it broke me. I missed my wife s much I broke down, even just telling her that it was bothering me multiple times before i had to make it an issue. After a week or so, she saw that I was serious about how it was making me feel, especially since she was really the only person I was actually talking to friend or spouse both, and she started calling and actually wanting to talk to me and making time to have time for our relationship.
That was a year ago, I'm now 21, and home from overseas. well as home as I get, we agreed that living with her mom like she was and me living about 10 minutes away renting a room from a local place was the best, saving the most amount of money even though we are now married. Now being home, it feels like the same when I was overseas. Only texting maybe 2 or 3 times at the end of the day with hours in between text messages, even after I ask to at least call, she often doesn't respond. 2 weeks ago i even tried to ask her if she wants to recreate our first date, she sounded excited, and said that she wouldn't be free for a couple of weeks, neglecting to tell me she was off 2 of those days that same week, one of those days she even admitted she didn't do anything all day. I still let it go, but I've been home for over a month and she only has come over to hang out maybe 5 times, and to actually spend the night 3 times. I would stayover at her place with her mom, but her mom doesn't want that, plus its just to small of a room. I tried to surprise her even and bring her lunch 2 days at work, the first time she liked it, the second time she snapped at me over text saying that she doesnt have the time, so i said i would wait. I waited 5 minutes and she had the full hour lunch off. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong? I tried before to do the "well stop chasing her and wait for her to respond."... I didn't even get a text for a week. When were in person and hanging out she loves me so much, no arguments, no nothing, but God I can't keep doing this and I'm afraid if it isn't fixed soon, I'll have to tell her goodbye. I love her with all my heart, but God it just seems like she has the mentality of "out of sight, out of mind" no matter how much I bring it up. please someone help me.