u/Lunababble

Hello lovely folks,

I'm hoping to get some guidance on how to continue my practice with ongoing lower back pain.

Its been a couple of months now, I'm working with a physio, but have gone from relatively fit and active to unable to sit/ stand for more than 15 mins without pain.

I can walk for a similar amount of time. 20mins at a push.

I started qigong for many reasons, but primarily to help with anixety. It's been a massive support in down regulating me and honestly given me the first moments of peace I've felt in many years.

Without it, and because of the limitations I'm experiencing at the moment, my physical anixety is massively spiking again (ie chest pain, tense, agitated, pins and needles/ vibration all over, racing heart etc) . Ive tried really short practices standing, but they honestly feel too much. I will say tapping has been helping a bit.

Any advice on this? What might work? I find it REALLY difficult to sit still in any kind of breathwork without first doing some movement which is why I found qigong after finding traditional sitting meditation and breathwork unaccessible.

My regular practice used to be about an hour every morning, now I'm lucky if its more than 5-10 and I'm in pain throughout.

I wanted to ask whether it's worth getting diagnosed as an adult? And how to deal with defensivness/ shame from parents.

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Sorry, a long one, this is all really new and is spinning me out a bit.

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I'm 40 F

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I've been having a lot of lightbulb moments through therapy lately. Suspected ADHD. My wife has also told me often that I moved in a "not-normal" way. This didn't land particularly until recently when I started thinking about childhood.

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I was, what my parents describe as, a "weak" baby. I didn't particularly know what that meant as they can be a bit unkind/blunt with descriptors. Turns out I was really floppy.

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Then, I remember it taking me AGES to learn how to run. My mum said I'd just walk quickly, it looked like I was really trying, but always came last, thought I was running but wasn't. She said she had to teach me to run, which seems weird. I still dont really run well. It's a very light jog at best.

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I was then always last picked in sports. I used to hide during big school sports events as they were always so embarrassing for me.

I always tried hard in sports but was told I was just terrible at it with no further discussion.

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My handwriting isnt terrible but isnt good. Teachers would say stuff like 'what you write is really good, when we can actually read it'.

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My posture has always been pretty bad, even when I've tried so many things to improve it.

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I trip a lot, over basically nothing as I dont seem to be able to pick my feet up fully when walking like others, but don't tend to fall. Even when Im trying to walk really fast, like through the city, I always fall behind others.

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I was seeing a PT a few years back and she often said it was taking me much longer than her other clients to build strength but I think it was also to do with the movements in the gym and me not getting how to do them.

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Anyway, I wanted to get my parents take, so I ask them a basic thing, 'how long did it take me to walk'.

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The answer got was 'oh much, much longer than your siblings' *pause* ' but not weird long'

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I then mentioned I thought I might have dyspraxia and they got VERY defensive and angry that I would think that. It felt like it was coming more from them than me, given they are of a generation where things were quite different. They didn't get any of my siblings tested for anything even though many signs were there and we all struggled with differebt things in our own way.

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So, do I just leave it as far as the parents are concerned? I don't think they're going to be helpful but they are now bringing up another kid (long story) and I don't want them ignoring any help he may need because of the old stigma around this stuff.

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Also, is it worth getting a diagnosis this late on?

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I'm not sure how helpful it would be given generally I live OK with the mild symptoms of whatever I have and have servere medical office/appointment anticipatory anxiety.

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I dont want to self diagnose either. But just having a name for it, even if unconfirmed, has been so so helpful as I always just though I was kinda rubbish at everything that involved my body, but perhaps not?

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Perhaps its just something I live with and framing it that way helps a great deal and has changed my entire 'not good enough' script.

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