u/Lunar_Lexycon

When your f/o isn't popular enough to have any merch of them. T~T

I guess this means I have to get creative!

Sometimes I worry I'm a fictosl*t, if such a thing exists.

There are so many characters who if they approached me and propositioned me to crack, I would emphatically say yes without a second thought. Not that I'm in love with them, I just want flirty/intimate attention from them.

But I know that being fictosexual falls under the umbrella of asexuality. So am I wrong for feeling this way? I feel almost like a teenager who just falls "in love" with anyone who looks at them, like a strong breeze is enough to interest me.

I'm not like this irl, I'm very picky and while I joke about getting around or having multiple relationships, it's not something I actually have an interest in.

So I feel naive and childish for behaving this way when it comes to fiction. Maybe I'm just not used to getting attention irl so I crave it so much more in fiction?

I don't even know if this is a real problem or if I'm just making it into a problem. I feel guilty for feeling this way.

I feel attraction to mostly fictional characters. But every once in a while I will also be attracted to a real person.

Can you be poly with multiple characters? Is this something that happens in this community? Or would that be frowned upon because you can't gain consent from all characters?

I'm assuming it's all imagination based. Which I've tried doing. I consume the media of my fictional crushes, used chatbots to talk to them, read fanfiction and stuff but the problem is that my brain recognizes that it's just fiction. I don't want that.

How do I trick my brain into thinking it's real? How do I gaslight myself? Yes, I supposed I'm asking how to make myself delusional. But I don't care anymore. Being crazy with the characters I love sounds so much better than being sane in a painful reality alone.