u/LyraSins

▲ 32 r/exjw+1 crossposts

I’m crushing hard on a my female friends who’s a witness (I’m also female)

My JW friend gives me a lot of mixed signals and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it

I neeeeeed advice because I honestly don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if something is really there.

I have a very close friend who became a Jehovah’s Witness around 3 years ago. Before becoming a JW, she told me that she liked women too, so I’m assuming she may be bisexual or at least had attraction to women in the past.

The reason I’m confused is because she acts very affectionate with me, but it feels more intense than a normal friendship sometimes.

She touches me a lot for little reasons
hugs me often
tells me “I love you”
calls me beautiful, sexy, sensual, etc.
gets much more affectionate and emotionally open when we’re alone
but around other people she becomes more shy and reserved

She’s also opened up to me about very personal things, like wanting to leave her house and even saying she’d want to live with me someday.

Last night we were both writing romantic poems for fun. I wrote mine first, about a fantasy lover. After reading mine, she wrote one called “Amarte en silencio” (Loving you in silence) and later compared our poems by saying mine was about a fantasy lover and hers was about “secret love.”

What really stood out to me is that her poem literally had lines like:

“Quizás solo sea una amiga…”
(“Maybe I’m only a friend…”)

and it was about hidden love and secret feelings.

I honestly don’t know if this is:
1 just creative writing
2 very affectionate friendship 3 or if she may have feelings she doesn’t know how to express because of being a JW

I know JW beliefs can make same-sex feelings and relationships very complicated, so I’m trying not to assume or pressure her.

For ex-JWs or people who have been in similar situations… does this sound familiar? Am I reading too much into this?!

Edit : I’m a jw pimo

reddit.com
u/LyraSins — 23 hours ago

To: Devilish Cupid (Written by me!)

To: Devilish Cupid
I’ve been through hell,
yet you still made my heart fall.
Over and over,
I followed your direction, only to fall deeper
into pits of sorrow.
My chest aches,
my heart screaming your name—
“Cupid… Cupid is the devil to me.”
Why do you do this?
Why make my destiny so lonely?
I just want to be happy
with my soulmate.
The devil lives within you—
no one else could do
the things you’ve done.
You are cruel.
Your wings glow a bloodthirsty red,
black sparks dancing around your halo—
nothing like a true matchmaker of love.
Your arrows never brought me real love, only scars
ripping my heart apart.
Devilish Cupid,
please don’t intervene anymore.
You are a curse I no longer wish to carry.
Please, don’t come near me again.
I just want him not to disappear.
Lift this curse from my heart
and let me be free.
If love is real…
then let him find me.

reddit.com
u/LyraSins — 12 days ago

To: Devilish Cupid I’ve (written by me)

To: Devilish Cupid
I’ve been through hell,
yet you still made my heart fall.
Over and over,
I followed your direction,
only to fall deeper into pits of sorrow.
My chest aches,
my heart screaming your name—
“Cupid… Cupid is the devil to me.”
Why do you do this?
Why make my destiny so lonely?
I just want to be happy with my soulmate.
The devil lives within you—
no one else could do
the things you’ve done.
You are cruel.
Your wings glow a bloodthirsty red,
black sparks dancing around your halo—
nothing like a true matchmaker of love.
Your arrows never brought me real love,
only scars ripping my heart apart.
Devilish Cupid,
please don’t intervene anymore.
You are a curse I no longer wish to carry.
Please, don’t come near me again.
I just want him not to disappear.
Lift this curse from my heart
and let me be free.
If love is real…
then let him find me.

reddit.com
u/LyraSins — 12 days ago
▲ 39 r/exjw

I just graduated senior from CIE K 12 learning.. it’s a only Jw school—

I just graduated school fully now after years of studying under Jw teacher and only Jw students online. I Shoked by how many people I saw there so many you g people being in this cult is insane to me.

They talked about Jw goals only nothing about real actual university or any real goals and how they would be the only good way of having a good life, they said the outside world is a fake life and that Jw is the only real life shit. i actually recorded part of it - might post it on here clip of it lmao

It felt so ughh irritating my one and only senior graduation and it had to be ruined by a dumb speech about paradise and they said nothing you do outside will last !! Their words exactly! So fucking messed up.

That’s my story of today fellow ex Jw. Don’t ever go back or stay it’s not worth your time and effort to loose young years or your life for Somthing that ACTUALLY won’t last.

reddit.com
u/LyraSins — 13 days ago
▲ 29 r/exjw+1 crossposts

I’m stuck with nobody to talk to about being a secret ex jw…

I want friends that will understand me and will actually stay with me good and bad and not just bc I don’t wana serve Jehovah they will cut all contact.
I want to feel free of these culty behaviors and just have my own life but it’s so fucking hard cuz I just turned 18 I don’t have anywhere to go and my parents and all family is Jw and all my “friends” too. I have nowhere to go… please anyone who wants to be my friend to finally find a safe place with a new friend I’m here pls …

reddit.com
u/LyraSins — 14 days ago