Many times I have tried to make use of this online app for small things while I am away of my workstation. The app takes forever to load a 15 MB file! What use is this?? Where can I make this stuff clear to the company and make them change something?
One time I was intoxicated by another person. Everything lost its sense since. Been trying to straighten that in my mind since childhood. But it was not my fault. It's hard to pinpoint exactly at the responsible person.
Because of that I am extra sensitive (thin skinned) to all sort of things. Was like that from that moment on. My consciousness was awaken to a new side of life: the painful side. I couldn't turn it off because i still had the toxins in my body. I know that now. Many years went on like that.
The thing is I got vengeful. I tried to get back at everyone I thought was somehow responsible in a weird dreamy way. Dreams come true, even vengeful ones.
At the same time another part of me just wanted to move on, not blame anybody, not be vengeful. That's the side most people know of me. But it's not my core, more like a mask.
Now, I feel It is hard moving on cause on most of the paths I planted some seed of revenge. All the good possibilities got turned into hurtful vengeful ones because of the intoxication.
Not many people know that I am responsible for the pain in their lifes. But I suppose some of them start to get on me.
The way I have found: children are people I look upon to remember innocence, and happines, and forget pain. I am a school teacher so I see children everyday. I also sing karaoke like twice a week. Very therapeutic. Hope you want to comment.