NEED HELP. Desperate.....
(Literally crying while typing this...) I haven't been able to go into ritual for a very long time. And each time I do start I get interrupted in some way and it breaks me out of the mood and concentration. I'm autistic so being interrupted kind of feels like the end of the world for me and I can't calm myself down to try and refocus cause it feels like the whole thing is ruined if something stops me in the middle of ritual...
For context I was kicked out of my room for another person and forced to sleep and stay out in the living room. problem is it's an apartment setting so i'm in the middle of the place. I have no privacy and my family is toxic and doesn't respect boundaries. I told them I try to meditate but they will come out, see me trying to meditate and carry on doing stuff in the kitchen like I'm not even there... even if I ask them to please give me some time to meditate someone at some point will come out their door, briefly apologize and quickly do what they set out to do...
I feel so cut off from the divine and so lost and frustrated cause ritual like lbrp and MP really helped me in my time of need when I lived on my own. And now I have no where to meditate or practice.... So I wanna know... if we do say the MP and we get interrupted do you think I'd need to start over again which I already explained would be hard to do given my disability or do the affects of the MP stay there and I can try to just continue and finish the ritual?
I really don't know what to do and i'm so depressed I've resorted to researching low magick hot foot spells to get a sibling out of the place so I can get my room back.... I'm that desperate.... It's hard to see a positive future anymore...