u/Main_Orchid

For my 50th, I really want to go on a 7 day cruise in the fall from Boston to Canada & back. And I want to go with just my oldest sister, E. E also wants to do this trip. It’s places she also wants to visit, she prefers cooler weather to hot weather, & it’s also a milestone birthday year for her. We only see each other about once a year due to distance/life. We get along really well & haven’t really had an opportunity to do anything just the two of us in decades. It’s always with families in tow (which is great! Our kids all get along, husbands like each other, etc).

Our kids will be in school so they can’t go. Our husbands totally could go though, and it would be fine. Great even! Like I said, both our husbands genuinely like each other. I’m sure it would be fun. However, neither of our spouses particularly want to do this trip. They’d go, they’d enjoy it, but it’s not something either of them really care about. My husband always wants to go to hot weather vacations. Her husband would be just as happy with a week at home to putter in his garage. My thought is why should we both shell out the extra $$ for husbands to come when it’s not something they both really want to do? Plus, I kinda love the idea of a sister’s vacation to celebrate our bdays together. I feel bad leaving our spouses out though. Especially because for my husband’s 50th we celebrated with a Caribbean cruise just the two of us.

Issue # 2 is that I really don’t want to invite our other 2 sisters either. We’ll call them S & M. But, if they know E & I go on a trip just the two of us their feelings will be hurt. S is very broke. She’s on Disability (for legitimate reasons) & so has a very small fixed income. She could not afford the trip. We (E & I) would be expected to cover the cost of her whole trip. In addition to the expense, S is an Eeyore personality. I love her, and I enjoy spending time with her, but in short doses… a week of close quarters would be a lot. M could pay her way, but she’s an alcoholic & would be hammered the whole trip & it’s just really hard to watch. I love her, & I know alcoholism is a disease, but it’s downright painful to watch her destroy herself. (She will admit that she’s an alcoholic but is not at the point where she’s willing to change that). E & I are agreed we want it to be just the two of us. The plan is to just not tell M & S we’re going & not post pics or anything to spare their feelings.

Is it selfish to want to take a vacation with just one sister? My husband would never choose to go on a week long trip without me (unless it was with just our kiddo for a Daddy/daughter thing). He has done guys weekends & such, but shorter time frame, camping & doing stuff I have no interest in doing. My husband hasn’t said anything, but I can tell his feelings are a little hurt that I want to do the trip with just E. AITA?