u/MajorInternet29

I'm in my mid 30s, I had my two boys 15 months apart. Before I had kids, I was very baby faced. People always assumed I was younger than my age. I was fairly petite and got compliments on my appearance from women and men. I felt attractive.

Just three years later I feel everything is different. I've worked hard to lose my baby weight and I'm almost there. I now have more time to do my hair and makeup like I used to. But I just feel like I still look haggard and fat. Sometimes I look in the mirror and am happy with what I see, and I look back at old photos and think there's not much change. But people don't compliment me like they used to. I don't get the attention I used to. I am objectively always exhausted and I think it shows.

It makes me feel sad. I have so much else to offer and I know it's so shallow but I feel I look and am viewed completely differently since I've had my children. I'm constantly swinging back and forth between thinking I look good again vs I am old, overweight and unattractive. It shouldn't matter but I feel like I'm just a different person now.

Does anyone else relate to this?

So I'm currently watching every single witness testimony on YouTube. I'm ashamed to say that before this, I hadn't been paying much attention, and I went along with the prevailing view that Amber was the abuser and Johnny the victim.

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One thing I can't stop thinking about is the testimony from Dr Curry. Amber's lawyers present Dr Curry with a contract that Curry signed before she had ever begun reviewing Amber, that stated Curry would testify in court that Amber had BPD. This to me is an absolute smoking gun, and irrefutable evidence that Depp's team have been fabricating. And to the level of getting a medical professional to fabricate a mental diagnosis!

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WHY HAVEN'T MORE PEOPLE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS!?!?

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I feel like I'm losing my mind because it's one of the few parts of the case that isn't subjective. There's no reading into body language, credibility, emotional state, intentions etc it's clear, logical, indisputable fact. Depp's team hired Curry with the sole intention of deliberately misdiagnosing amber with multiple mental health conditions.

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Am I missing something?!

My boys are 15 months apart. They're currently 21 months and just 3 and my goodness, it's amazing.

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From the moment baby 2 was born, I've felt it gets easier with each month, and each milestone. And now? Watching them play together and be the best of friends is the best thing in the world, and it was all so worth it. The days are now spent just watching them play together. They're into the same things so toys are all shared and enjoyed together. Days out are easy to plan because they're so close in age.

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EDIT: guys, I was writing this post in the morning and my littlest came over halfway through and started grabbing at my phone. I thought he deleted the post but turns out he published it 😂 hope that goes some way to explaining why it ends so abruptly.

So happy to see the comments taking encouragement from this. It's HARD in the early days and it obviously still has it's challenges now (2 toddlers, so of course). But it's everything I hoped it would be. Love this community.