r/2under2

I give birth in a couple weeks and I cannot wait. I know it’ll be exhausting but I cannot wait to NOT be pregnant anymore lol.

My 16 month old is incredibly active. He LOVES to be outside and hates being indoors. We live in the Midwest and by the time baby comes, it will definitely be getting colder. I don’t mind bundling him up and taking him outdoors but I imagine it will be difficult postpartum. My husband and I are trying to think of the best ways to keep him occupied when we’re exhausted on cold days. He does watch tv a little bit but otherwise we try really hard to avoid too much screen time. Most toys he gets bored with after a few times. Any advice on how you guys kept your first babies engaged those first couple months postpartum? Thanks yall :)

I’m a new mom to 2 under 2 (23 mo and 3 mo) and I’m set to return to part time work (2 days a week) in November (baby will be 5 months).

I’m in a fortunate position where I don’t need to work (we can pay monthly expenses with spouses income) however we definitely benefit from my income, are able to not worry as much about spending and can put some to savings. My in-laws are also amazing have been watching my toddler two days a week and could probably watch my baby as well. He takes a bottle well . I have a flexible job as an occupational therapist and my company has been flexible with my hours and I can do some from home.

I keep going back and forth on if I should return part time.
On the one hand, it’s really hard for me to stay home alone with both babies all week. I find myself exhausted, overstimulated and dying to get out and talk to people. I’ve worked hard to be successful in my career , enjoy the company I work for and worry about stepping away from it. I also think its good if I am contributing a little income, especially because I still have student loans.

On the other hand, returning to work would be another thing on my plate to worry about, it can also be really stressful and it’s really hard for me to get out the door after not sleeping well (still EBF every 3ish hours). Also, I’m hopeful things may get easier at home over the next few months as baby can play a bit more, sit up, eat solids nap in crib, etc. I know I won’t get this time back with my boys and it’s really important for their development .

Curious to know what you would do in my situation, especially to hear both sides (stay at home vs working moms). Thank you!

We’re graduated 2u2, but I figured this was a good sub to get some advice. Toddler is 2.5 and baby is 9 months old. We’re really struggling trying to have the two kids play well together. Toddler is getting good at independent play and loves to play pretend. Baby is at a stage where the ONLY thing she wants is whatever sister is playing with. There is no amount of redirecting, distracting, reiterating “no snatching”, and even trying to play one on one with the baby that works. If the baby is within the toddlers vicinity, she MUST be involved with whatever big sister is doing. When anyone takes something away from the baby she absolutely loses her mind screaming. Like we’ll literally be all playing magnatiles, there’s plenty to go around, but baby HAS to snatch the one out of big sisters hands even though she’s literally surrounded by tiles.

Big sister is in preschool, but she is NOT down with sharing with the baby, and even taking turns is hard. When baby tries to play with “her” toys it always results in pushing, hitting, big meltdown, crying from both. We are doing our best to reinforce sharing, turn taking, etc. Or even “you have so many toys, choose one to give your sister”. We’ve even gone as far as to say “if you don’t want her to take your toy, take it and go play elsewhere with it” but nothing is really working and we’re really struggling.

The best situation is where we can divide and conquer, one parent takes one kid, they play in different rooms. But this isn’t very feasible with our life situation right now (we just moved and are doing a bunch of house repairs and Reno’s at the same time) so one parent frequently has to solo parent two. We’ve resorted to more screen time as well because this season of life has just been very hard to manage the two.

Me and my sister are 18 months apart, and as the younger sister I remember always being interested in what big sister was doing. I don’t remember how our mom handled it though. Especially when the baby is little and can’t do “cooperative” play yet.

Anyone gone through or going through this and have advice?

Baby is due in 3 weeks and our older boy is 20 months. I need any tips yall have on surviving/making the best/what to expect from the first few months. We are planning on a c section, to formula feed, & our older kiddo goes to daycare. I’m not stressed about taking care of baby but am starting to stress about how our older one is going to handle this major change

So I’m freaking out. My son is 19 months old and I’m scheduled for a c-section on Friday (medically required unfortunately). I keep thinking how am I going to do this? My 19 month old son has so many behaviours these days. He’s moody, throws tantrums, and cries whenever he doesn’t get his way or is displeased, which feels like a lot. To add to this, he can’t even deal when the dog is on my lap, how is he going to deal with a baby on me all day? He is a real mamas boy. How am I going to get through this?

I will say I’m blessed with a husband that will have 2.5 weeks off and works from home. We also have a lot of support of our families but I’m just so overwhelmed.

I wanted two close in age so bad, but now I’m so anxious. Will I ever sleep again? Am I ruining my oldest kids life? Am I ruining mine and my husband’s? SOS

I just found out this week I’m pregnant with my second baby. My son is currently 15 months so the kids will be 24 months apart. My husband and I had a really hard time conceiving my first so when we decided to start trying for a second we figured it would take some time. Turns out the first half assed try worked.

I was truly overjoyed seeing the positive test. But after a couple of days something got triggered in me and it’s turned into bad anxiety the last two days. I have been on an SSRI the last few years which has been working well for me. But I have had really bad anxiety about this. My brain keeps thinking that 2 kids will be a lot of chaos and the newborn trenches will do a number on me. I did fine my first pregnancy and even postpartum but for some reason this is throwing me for a loop. Maybe because I didn’t expect it to happen so soon and we’re also leaving for our first family vacation tomorrow so I’m just overwhelmed.

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance. Also curious to hear from any other moms on medication. I had a terrible anxiety attack last night and called my OB after hours line and felt ashamed to ask if I could take a Xanax but they advised not to. Eventually some deep breathing calmed me down a bit but I’m still very anxious. Sorry if this is all over the place, but I would just really like some reassurance and positive stories instead of my brain flooding with the panic of 2 kids. Again, this is something I want but my anxiety has sadly reared its ugly head and is making me feel awful and incapable.

(Last thing I wanted to say I did up my SSRI dose 4 months ago so I’d rather not do that again. I feel confident this is an isolated incident that I’m just desperately trying to snap out of).

I feel guilty that my first had less connection/fun with me through the end of my third trimester. Newborn is now 3 weeks, and I’m feeling a lot less anxiety (yay medication) about going out and about.

I am a bit nervous about forgetting something, or them both having a meltdown, but I more-so want my first to continue to have experiences especially since he doesn’t get socialized with any formal childcare. I do have one more week before I’m cleared to pick up my first, but I have done one grocery run with the oldest to get out of the house for the first time in almost a month.

TLDR: Not sure how to phrase what I’m asking, but is it detrimental to the oldest to not be going out? He was home a lot through my last trimester and just feel bad. When did you all start going out again?

Anyone else struggle with deciding whether/when to have their last baby?

I have two kids who are 12 months apart.. my oldest just turned 3 and my youngest just turned 2. This age gap was completely planned, and I absolutely do not regret it, but honestly… the last few years have been HARD.

I always pictured myself having 3 or 4 kids, but after my youngest was born, I’ve really struggled postpartum. She has a congenital heart condition, and that whole experience came with a lot of trauma/PTSD. One of the things I struggle with now is the fear of going through another pregnancy and potentially having another baby with a heart condition. I know the odds are still in our favor, but once you’ve lived through it, it’s hard not to think about.

Then there’s just… parenting two tiny humans this close together. 😂 I love my kids more than anything, but there are days where I genuinely wonder how I could possibly add another baby to the mix.
And yet, somehow, I still want another one.

I go back and forth every single day between:
“Let’s just have our third, make it our last, get through these really hard little kid years, and eventually it’ll all settle down.”
and
“Absolutely not. Let’s wait a few years, enjoy the kids we have, get through this stage, and reassess.”

The weirdest part is that having another baby almost feels like starting over, and I don’t know if I want to wait too long and then feel like I’m starting completely over anyway. At the same time, I’m not sure if I’m actually ready for another baby or if I’m just having a hard time accepting that the baby stage might be coming to an end.

If we got pregnant now, the new baby would be about 3 years younger than our youngest, which feels like a very different age gap than the 12 months we have now.

So I guess I’m looking for people who have been in a similar situation:

Did you have a rough experience with your first/second and still decide to have another?

If you had kids close together, did a larger age gap make the third easier?

For those who waited 3+ years, did it actually feel easier, or did it still feel like “starting over”?

Did you ever feel like you were waiting too long?
And if you ultimately stopped at two, how did you know you were done?

I know there’s no perfect answer and everyone’s situation is different. I think I’m just looking for some perspective from people who have been through this because I feel completely stuck between now or never?

I currently wear my 13 month old in the LennyLamb Light carrier and love it. I baby wear A LOT. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and am 1) wanting to continue wearing my son throughout pregnancy and 2) prepare for tandem wearing once my second baby is here. My kids will be just shy of 19 months apart.

What would be the best Onbuhimo carrier to work during pregnancy as well as for back carrying my toddler while front wearing my new baby? Also what would be the best tandem carrying combo? I’m fine retiring the LL light if there is a better front carrier to go with an Onbuhimo

TIA for the help!

EDIT: I am 16 *weeks pregnant not months lol