u/Bright-Effective8610

Currently 31 weeks and starting the countdown to giving birth, prepping my firstborn who will be 21-22 months for his sibling once the time comes.

Because I will have a planned c-section unless I go into labour naturally beforehand, I am nervous about how to handle my active toddler when I get home to recover. He’s very cuddly with me but also wild and unpredictable so I can’t risk holding him when I’m still in the first couple of weeks in case he hurts me. I’m really wondering how to make it easier on both of us because he does want me a lot for bedtime and other routines but I doubt I’ll be able to do bedtime with him after a c section since he’s in a floor bed and wants me to lay with him til he falls asleep. He’s currently in a phase where he doesn’t want his dad for bedtime, lets him do everything else (bath, story) but the putting to sleep is reserved for Mama…
Any advice is appreciated on how to help us through this transition!

My husband and I were talking about this and I wanted to ask the parents of Reddit what you guys have done.

We have one young toddler and another baby on the way so this conversation won’t happen for many years, but I was wondering if parents of older children and teens have shared their salaries with their kids and if so how did you do it? If not, why didn’t you?

This came about because a sibling decided to share their salary with the whole extended family and my FIL was shocked, saying this was not talked about in his generation (boomer) and that if he ever tried to ask his dad what he made, he would have been punished.

I’m not sure I would share the specifics about our income with our kids until they are close to adulthood and navigating the job market, but I have been reflecting on it and wondering what I would do if the question came up.

Thanking you in advance for your advice and life experience!

Found out we are expecting our second little boy later this year and the first reaction we got from my husband’s family is whether we’ll try for a third and hope for a girl… that’s their family structure: 2 boys and a girl.

I hate this expectation that so many people seem to have that if you have two of the same gender, you’ll automatically keep trying til you get the other… while we might consider a third if the transition to two goes well, I’m also dreading potential comments if we have a third boy …

Can we just accept that this is out of anyone’s control and that no matter what, it’s going to be great? It’s so frustrating.

We are going to tell my family this weekend for Mother’s Day and I’m hoping I don’t get a similar comment… I know everyone would have loved a girl since the last girl to be born in my extended family was me, but the universe had other plans.

I personally love the idea of same gender siblings because I had one brother I am not close to and I always felt that we would have been closer had I had a sister. Obviously that’s not everyone’s reality but I feel the chances of closeness are a little better?

Regardless if we do have a third baby, it will be because we want one, not because we are desperate for one particular gender…

I find this take even more outrageous because we had such a hard time conceiving our first… we were just so happy to have a healthy baby…

We found out we are expecting baby #2 pretty quickly despite having struggled to conceive #1. I was so grateful because I am getting older and this will likely be my last pregnancy.

We found out today we are expecting the same gender as #1, two boys for us! And my husband is devastated. He always wanted a daughter and imagined everything about daddy-daughter relationships, the cuddles before bedtime like he has with our son, being the strong dad for her when she’s upset, walking her down the aisle at her wedding, the father-daughter dance, etc. All these things he can do with our boys, but hr had a vision of a sweet girl also. Obviously character and personality come into play, but it’s mourning his vision of what our family will be now.

We had also planned to name her after his late mother too so not being able to give that tribute is contributing to the grief…

I would have loved a daughter as well, mainly to do the typical more girly things (if she would be into that) but I’m less disappointed in having another boy, since our first is so great. We will do our best to raise them to be close and remain friends into adulthood.

Basically I want any advice on how to help my husband grieve this news, that he likely will never have a daughter. Even if we do have the guts to try for a third, there is obviously no guarantee…

I feel so bad that he’s so upset. He’s already anticipating everyone saying that what matters is a healthy baby. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, but let’s not diminish grieving what you imagined your family might look like? I always pictured having a boy first and then a girl. I guess that wasn’t in God’s plan for our family.

I just know that when our second son will be born, that my husband will be as happy and in love with him as he was for our first… what can I do to help him in this grief?

We found out we are expecting baby #2 pretty quickly despite having struggled to conceive #1. I was so grateful because I am getting older and this will likely be my last pregnancy.

We found out today we are expecting the same gender as #1, two boys for us! And my husband is devastated. He always wanted a daughter and imagined everything about daddy-daughter relationships, cuddles before bedtime, being the strong dad for her, walking her down the aisle at her wedding, the father-daughter dance, etc. We had also planned to name her after his late mother too so not being able to give that tribute is contributing to the grief…

I would have loved a daughter as well, mainly to do the typical more girly things (if she would be into that) but I’m less disappointed in having another boy, since our first is so great. We will do our best to raise them to be close and remain friends into adulthood.

Basically I want any advice on how to help my husband grieve this news, that he likely will never have a daughter. Even if we do have the guts to try for a third, there is obviously no guarantee…

I feel so bad that he’s so upset. He’s already anticipating everyone saying that what matters is a healthy baby. Of course everyone wants a healthy baby, but let’s not diminish grieving what you imagined your family might look like? I always pictured having a boy first and then a girl. I guess that wasn’t in God’s plan for our family.

I just know that when our second son will be born, that my husband will be as happy and in love with him as he was for our first… what can I do to help him in this grief?