Hello! I am going back to work in a couple of months and thinking through care options for the 2 kids. Has anyone had experience with a nanny for 2 under 2? My kids will be 3 months and 21 months when I go back to work, I work from home. How could one person care for both kids at the same time? Thank you
Hey everyone! I have a 7 week old and 19 month old and have not left the house alone with them both in a car yet. When did you take both kids out in a car? And where did you go / do you have any advice? Honestly just thinking about it is overwhelming...any advice appreciated, thanks!
Im newly 2 under 2 with a 19 month daughter and one month son. I'll be honest, I'm getting really nervous reading most of the posts on here :( I am still in the newborn trenches right now but I was hoping that things would get much better in a couple months however many of the posts on here make it seem like things do not get easier for YEARS. We have a nanny coming to the house 3 days a week (8 am - 5 pm) and my parents and in laws also plan to come and help once a week each so we have at least 5 days of coverage where there will be at least 2 adults with the 2 kids.
Is 2 under 2 a lot more manageable when there is family and paid help? I am on maternity leave for 4 more months but I work from home and my company is very flexible with my working hours. I'm hoping we can get into a good rhythm soon especially with all of the outside help but I get really nervous reading a lot of the posts on here as it seems very stressful for extended amounts of time.
Toddler daughter too attached to MIL
Hi moms, my daughter is 19 months old and I also have a newborn 1 month old son (2 under 2 life). I've had issues with my in laws ever since my husband and I became engaged about 6 years ago. My MIL was an angel for 5 years prior to the engagement and then her true colors came out, she tried to make the whole wedding planning process about herself and what she wanted even though she was not contributing financially. My in laws have been very helpful since having the kids so I feel like the relationship is getting repaired. However, I still sense manipulation and narcissism from my MIL. My MIL had two boys so I think she is particularly interested in my daughter because she never had a daughter.
My in laws have been spending extended time at our house because of the newborn baby, like 4 days at a time where they will stay in our guest bedroom. My MIL devotes 100% of her attention to my daughter when she is here, she plans outings for just them two like to the library or pool everyday and also puts my daughter to bed and gets her up in the morning. Basically, she acts like my daughter's mom and talks to her like it too. My MIL ignores the baby when my daughter is around because she doesn't want my daughter to get jealous.
Now, my daughter is completely obsessed with MIL to the point that she acts like she is the mom, she will only hold her hand and want to be picked up by her and comforted by her. This wouldn't bother me so much if I had a better relationship with my MIL but she has not been very kind to me.
I don't want to deprive my daughter of grandparent love but it feels unhealthy at this point. My daughter is getting very spoiled from MIL too and will reject everyone else when MIL is around, reject me my husband and my mom. I know that I need to reduce time with MIL and daughter but I can't help but feel like MIL is being nefarious and trying to undermine my connection with my daughter. Am I overreacting? Is this postpartum hormones or am I justified? Thanks all for listening
My MIL is retired but was a preschool teacher and knows a lot about child attachment so that's part of why it feels nefarious
I am a mom to an 18 month old daughter that is overly attached to my in laws and it really makes me sad. We have a nanny that takes care of her during the workdays but I work from home and see her throughout each day. I also usually have 2 hours of uninterrupted alone time with my daughter each day too. I am around her a lot but she's not too affectionate with me, doesn't love when I hold her and doesn't give me many hugs. I am also pregnant in my third trimester so I've been struggling to pick her up. I always try to do fun things with her like storytime and park time but lately it's been much harder to get out in the pregnancy.
My in-laws see her for at least a 4 day consecutive stretch each month and they stay over our house during that time because they live 3 hours away, so they get her up in the morning and spend all day with her and put her to bed. My MIL is retired and is obsessed with being a mom so she really gets so much joy from spending lots of time with my daughter. I feel a little weird about it though because it feels like my MIL is too attached to my daughter and my daughter is also too attached to MIL. My MIL only had sons so she has really latched onto my daughter and will say things like "we're twins, you're just like me, etc" and does all of the typical grandma things like constant doting and giving her whatever she wants and carrying her around constantly. It's very sweet that she has so much love for my daughter but it also makes me feel edged out and almost replaced as the mom.
My MIL does not have other hobbies and will always talk about how much she cries when she's not with my daughter and how she counts down the days to see her and how the best times of her life are with my daughter. It feels a bit over the top. My daughter is her first and only grandchild for now.
My daughter won't let me hold her when my MIL is around and will scream for MIL. She'll be very affectionate with MIL and it's like I'm invisible when she's around. All day it's nana this, nana that and she never says mama. It makes me very sad and like I'm replaceable. Even when my daughter gets hurt, she'll ask for nana and not for me. Does anyone have any advice? Should we be limiting time with the in laws more? I don't want to damage their relationship but their attachment feels stronger than the one I have with my daughter and it makes me feel sad. Appreciate any advice, thank you!
My 16 month old son has had a nanny since he was 3 months old and I wfh. I am due with another boy this summer.
Due to a move, we need to find a new nanny to start after my new baby is born. There is a nanny that we're interested in that has had extensive nannying experience but for slightly older kids - she nannied for a family with 3 children for 4 years. The youngest child was 1.5 starting out.
However, this nanny seems great and has a lot of experience with infants from her family as her sisters all have younger kids and she is a very involved aunt. I found her on social media and can confirm that she is around her infant nieces / nephews often.
I also briefly texted her other nanny family as a reference check and that family said that they would be comfortable with her around infants and that they really loved working with her and if their kids were still young they would still work with her.
Looking for advice on what to do, I am also overwhelmed with the short age gap and am having a hard time wrapping my head around how our nanny can handle both kids at the same time. I would expect her to take both kids until I go back to work at 4 months postpartum but I will be wfh so I can still help out with the childcare during the day if needed.
Hello! I am about to have 2 under 2 soon. I have a 17 moth old daughter and expecting a son in early July. My daughter has been at home this entire time with our nanny and I work from home. However, our nanny is also pregnant and will stop working with us over the summer. I am planning on hiring a new nanny for a few days a week, but this new nanny does not have experience with 2 under 2. She is experienced with watching multiple children but at slightly older ages (1.5 years and above).
My 17 month old daughter has a lot of energy and loves to learn and socialize. We have the opportunity to enroll her in a part time Montessori school program (830-1130 Monday-Friday) starting this fall when she will be 20 months. I'm a bit hesitant to do this because I'm nervous about the sudden changes for her and her getting sick all the time and bringing the sickness back to the new baby.
Has anyone had experience with a Montessori program for their eldest when they had 2 under 2? Would you recommend even with the chance of getting sick? Thank you!