u/candlehandle567

Long story short sales associate was a new guy and somehow backed the car I was purchasing into something while I was signing paperwork. They sent me home with a loaner until the bumper can be replaced. This car I’ve been waiting for a long time to get the exact trim and mileage so I really don’t want to walk away from it (I also had it shipped from a state over and it took them two weeks to process, I should’ve just drove and got it) but I’m super frustrated with the customer service experience.

Within the hour I left the lot with the loaner they called and said I needed to sign more docs on the new car. The next day I got an email saying the business office associate didn’t do my loaner paperwork correctly.

At this point I’m holding off going back there until my car is ready and not signing anything until I get eyes on it.

They offered to buy us dinner the night of the incident and pay my first months payment for all of these issues. Should I be asking for anything else? I feel like in the grand scheme another dealer would be doing more.

Curious how frequently folks in this group are in contact with the parents that experienced emotional parentification?

I’ve always been in the middle of my parents dislike of one another (mind you they’re legally married 30 years, each brought a child from previous relationship into the marriage and I’m the solo child between the two)

Mom’s parentification - over the last two years or so my mom has backed off the complaining about my dad and turned into a basically he doesn’t exist/ don’t ask about me him. Sometimes she gets worried about his health and will be like you need to tell him to see a doctor or tell him to ask x,y,z at the doctor or I think he’s feeding the wrong food to the dog etc but it’s not like personal attacks anymore

Dad: still heavily dumps issues with mom on me in majority of conversations. Often says things like “I can’t say anything or she will snap” etc etc. I used to feed back into his dumping a lot more because I have personal issues with my mom.

Anyway this past weekend my husband threw me a birthday party. Parents didn’t show up (dad doesn’t drive long distances so my mom didn’t want to go and that was my only chance of my dad getting a ride) and it really hurt/ embarrassed me.

I’ve decided I really need to switch up my contact with them. I usually call my dad 1x per week so he can FaceTime with my son and I can check on his health issues. Mom I used to FT daily for my son because he would eat better on the phone with her. I haven’t called either in about two weeks but I feel bad for my son since he asks for them.

How often is acceptable for remaining in contact for the sake of your kids? My sister is no contact with my dad and my brother is oblivious of everything so he pops in occasionally and gets to dip whenever he feels like it.

I’m expecting baby #2 within the next few weeks. I just came to the realization I need to update the daycare paperwork that says my mom can pick up my older child in an emergency. Why? Because she hasn’t shown up for a single second with my 1st. It hurts so bad planning and preparing thinking your mother is going to be present and help ( especially when they said they are) and then don’t. Yesterday was my 30th birthday and she didn’t even call me just sent a gif text at 6 am. I’m fortunate my MIL/ FIL are so willing to help. They’re ten years older than my parents and so I fear the day they start to have health issues.

I also feel a bit guilty from when I had my first. I felt like my MIL was overwhelming us with the amount of support and trying to do for us. Looking back it was so stupid to be upset over it and it probably stemmed from the disappointment from my own mom.

I’m looking at a 2023 pathfinder SL. One of the top reasons I am considering this car is the 2nd row AC. My rear facing toddler leaves a sweat stain on his car seat now even if we have the AC blasting in our grand Cherokee. We are expecting a newborn in the next month as well. We don’t live in a crazy hot climate but summers get very hot. Does the 2nd row AC actually work well enough to keep rear facing kiddos cool? I’m coming from a rav4.

How do most people approach cleaning for these folks? I have a toddler and I don’t like taking my husband and child there due to the lack of cleanliness. I set them up with my cleaners ONCE and of course somehow they like ruined a curtain so my mom refuses to bring anyone over again to clean BUT refuses to clean due to spite of my dad. My dad tries to keep the house up but it still isn’t great and he also doesn’t drive far and we live outside of the bubble he’s comfortable driving in so I have to go over there to see them.

My parents got a dog in the last few years, it’s very obvious the dog has had multiple accidents on rugs and the smell is likely going to remain without replacing the rugs plus the dog hair is insane.

Their half bath which guests would use has been smoked in for 30 years so the scent is pretty bad

Overall general cleanliness is lacking, I noticed a very strong scent from my dads clothes the last time I met with him (they have a front loader that I know they don’t keep open so it’s probably infested with mold).

It’s extremely saddening because my grandmom love her to death but she basically hoarded her way out of her home and my in-laws are the exact opposite like they have cleaners come weekly and you could literally eat off their floors. I feel like when my child gets older my parents will be the house he prefers less due to the condition.

Anyone else have parents that refuse to retire or settle down because it causes them to face the reality that they developed no hobbies or relationships?

Backstory: my mother is 63, she has been married to my dad 30 years, they are married on paper live under the same roof but that’s about it (separate issue I’ve been dealing with my whole life). She’s been working full time remote the last 15 years; I think the last three she finally had enough of not doing anything so she invested some money into a small business outside of her day job. She works on this business basically every Thursday/ Friday/ Saturday many long hours making little money. She’s been loosely mentioning closing it down because she’s been relying on the free help of her sisters the past few years and they are starting to wind down. She refuses to just let it go and also says she’s going work her job until she dies because she doesn’t have anything else to do.

In reality if fine but she never has once offered to help with childcare of my child. ( I only mention this because her mother watched me everyday until I was 5 so my parents would work) She took two weeks off when my baby was born to “help” and only came over once and was at her business every day. Whatever if you don’t want to help that’s fine but don’t complain that you have nothing to do in your spare time.

Anyway I just find it naive to believe that a job will even want to keep you until you die. Why do none of these older generations have like no desire to just go for a walk everyday, learn a hobby? Volunteer? My grandparents retired young and I never once heard them complain about being bored or desiring to get a job. It’s ODD to me.