One feels like my future wife. The other feels like my type.
i’m in an arranged marriage process and somehow ended up with two very different options.
girl 1: i’ve known her for ~6 months. she’s ambitious, business-minded, supportive, gives me respect and space, and gives me genuinely good advice. i feel i can build a life with her.
the problem is, i’m not very physically attracted to her. i don’t find her particularly beautiful.
and please don’t give me the usual “looks don’t matter” advice. i know looks aren’t everything, but attraction matters to me, especially in marriage.
girl 2: i just started talking to her. she’s extremely beautiful and i’m very attracted to her. she’s an assistant manager at a bank and seems fun, independent and more into enjoying life.
but her mindset seems quite different from mine. she’s more “we have a job, decent income, let’s enjoy life” whereas i’m entrepreneurial and constantly think about building businesses, making more money, investing and taking risks.
i don’t need my wife to be equally ambitious, but i do want her to understand and support that side of me. with girl 1, i already know she does. with girl 2, i don’t know yet.
there’s also a location issue. she works in her hometown, while i’m currently remote. if i eventually have to move for work, i’m not sure how that would work.
so basically:
girl 1: strong compatibility, trust, support and shared ambition, but weaker physical attraction.
girl 2: strong physical attraction and seems fun, but i barely know her, our lifestyle/ambition may differ, and there could be future location issues.
i know girl 2 could turn out to be completely different once i know her better. that’s what makes this difficult.
TLDR: one feels like a great life partner. the other is someone i’m strongly attracted to. one i know well, the other i barely know. trying to understand what actually matters more long-term.
thanks for reading all this. please pour in your advice and perspectives 🙏
edit: the main reason i posted this is honestly because i don’t know how much attraction matters in the long run. i don’t want to make a decision based only on looks, but i also don’t want to ignore attraction and regret it later.