u/MaleficentShake5930

He trusts our ability to notice and see him a little too much.

Todai, meowmy was doin’ a mysteree BAM sound. Ai went up ta her an’ did a BIG komplain. Ai tell her ta be moar kwyet. She den luk at mi, den speek nonsense. She sed dis: “Aaamaaooww.” Ai tink she say sumting lyke: “HUURRAAGGHH! AI BIG BANANERZ!” …or sumting. Ai dunno. She try ta speek cat, but she obveeouslee bad at it. She sho embarrassin. Ai ashamed ta bi her lord an’ master.
—Leo da meowgnificent

(Human here. I was doing some leather crafting and was hammering some stitching holes. I finished, and looked up to see Leo staring at me from the doorway. He meowed at me. Overwhelmed by cuteness overload, I meowed back at him. He stared up at me for several stunned seconds, then walked away with his ears back. Evidently, I was acting like one of those adults who try to speak the latest slang to kids, and end up making everyone cringe in embarrassment.)

Frens, mai meowmy iz doin’ a TORCHUR! She play wif mai fudz, mai kayk, an’ she won’t gib ‘em to mi! She pawed an’ pawed at mai kayk, but den…she eet it in frunt ob mi, an’ she no shayr!

Ai rememba da dayz wen grandpaw kame an’ gib mi kayk. But he nawt here! Grandpaw! Grandpaw! Ai need yoo ta giv mi mai kayk rite meow!

…ai hungwy…

—Leo da meowgnificent

(Human here. I went to a wedding, and the bride and groom had too much wedding cake left over. The groom came over to drop off 2 tiers of cake at my place, and I was divvying them up in containers to give away to my friends.

As I was slicing the cake, Leo knew something was afoot. He came over, and he kept staring and staring up to where I was cutting the cake. I then took a slice for myself, and Leo came running and followed me. Unfortunately, he’s on a diet and the cake is white chocolate flavoured, so Leo could only eat with his eyes.

Leo demanding for his grandpa is a reference to the time when my dad would sneak him cake in the middle of his diet to the point where he got fat again: https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/Udk2DV2qom)

Sometimes, my cat dashes out of the litter box, yowling to the top of his lungs, screaming and announcing to the world that he pooped. Then, he comes running up to my bed, smelling absolutely rank, and sits on my pillow and leaves a brown streak. Turns out, poop is stuck to his butt fur.

I’ve heard of some floof owners bringing their pets to the groomers to get their behinds a floof brazillian/a butt fur trim. But do you guys do it?

So crescent bags are in, and I see a lot of them in many stores. I wanted to make one, so I found a cheaply made crescent bag that was on sale, ripped it apart, and used it as a template.

Then I had the brilliant idea to put bag feet on the bottom of the bag.

I picked out a set of 4, measured the middle, punched the holes, and tried to install the bag feet. I realized that the bag feet needed washers when it kept spinning around, so I made some DIY leather washers.

I held the bottom piece up to the shape of a ‘U’ and aligned it with the front panel. To my horror, the bottom of the bag sagged down. I apparently set the feet a little too wide.

Then I was struck with an epiphany: what if I add another bag foot in the middle? So I did.

I was pretty proud of myself for my ingenious solution, and proceeded to sew the front and back to the bottom. Then, I flipped the bag to see the little golden feet.

And was appalled.

It looked like cow udders!

I despaired. I wallowed. I grieved.

I sewed the rest of the bag up with loathing.

Then, I had the thought: why not lean into it?

So I took out my hot foil pen and drew the face of a cow. I dubbed the bag ‘Lady Bessie’. She was made out of cows in honour of cows.

Oh yes, leather used: Adria Leather - Lichen Sage, and pig skin for the lining and pocket. All hardware and leather from Hand and Sew—except for the gold chain (which was from Michaels).

Meowmy twy ta hyde frum mi, but ai kan smell it. Choo-ee delektabull gudness! Ai kan hear it. Kwispy deevine yummeez!

Ai runrunrun ta her.

…But she walk awai!

Ai follow her, ‘cuz ai iz gud predator AN’ SHE IZ PREY!

…but she eet all da chimkin!

Ai big mad!

…ai hungwy…

—Leo da meowgnificent

(Human here. I had some leftover korean fried chicken. I strategically took it straight from the fridge and didn’t microwave it, thinking Leo wouldn’t be able to smell or hear it because he was downstairs. It was soy sauce garlic chicken spiced with jalapeños, so it wasn’t safe for him to eat. Within less than 5 minutes, he came running up, eagerly following me. I quickly scarfed it down while runni—er, walking away from Leo. The picture is him being visibly upset that I dared to eat without sharing.)

So I needed a jewelry box, or at least something to hold my jewelry, and saw this gorgeous leather jewelry box pattern on Etsy. I took a brief look at the listing, saw the ✨sale✨ with a countdown, and was like, “I need to get it now before the sale disappears!”

So I got it.

Cut out the leather.

Read the “detailed” instructions.

…And was completely confused 😭.

It actually looked like a legit pattern: it had stitching holes, instructions of recommended leather weight, and a whole assembly page of instructions at the end.

But then when I contemplated how to put it together, the pattern didn’t match up to the photo! That’s when I clued in—it’s all AI! I looked at the listing closely: The video that I finally watched was too choppy and wasn’t smooth. The lid clasp disappeared and reappeared in some photos. The model in the photo looked too polished. (I thought she was just heavily Photoshopped. Turns out she doesn’t exist.)

So I decided to do my own thing.

Step one: throw away the instructions.

Step two: use the AI photo as a reference and not the goal post.

Step three: don’t waste the leather pieces I’ve cut, and just make do with what I’ve got.

The pattern recommends 3.85 mm stitching irons. I just so happen to own some! Unfortunately, as you can see in the photo, 3.85 mm is too small. I used my 5 mm stitching irons, but even that was a stretch.

The instructions recommended the leather weight, but didn’t say what kind of leather type to choose. The photo clearly looked like chrome tanned leather that was wrapped around some kind of reinforcement, but the instructions only said that the bottom panel needed reinforcement. I decided to use chrome tan leather, but reinforce the top, bottom, sides, and divider with Texon.

The instructions for sewing the bottom and the top lid to the lid body wrap was also confusing. There should be at least two lines of stitching so the edge can be folded over—like in the photo. Also, it looks like you’re supposed to box stitch the top and bottom panels to the lid body wrap, but the instructions just said “stitch along the offset lines”. So instead of doing that, I just sewed on the lid and turned it in x2 (once for the lid body wrap edge, and another time by flipping the sewed on lid body wrap inside to out.)

The inside of the jewelry box was also confusing. The divider only had one stitch line, and the bottom panel had no stitch line to attach the divider. So I just wrapped and glued some lining around some Texon, made sure there was flaps poking out of the bottom on each side, and attached the flaps to the bottom panel.

As for the earring holder and elasticated pouch at the inside of the top lid, well I was too frustrated with the errors in the pattern, so I decided to just leave the top lid blank. The elasticated pouch panel was the incorrect shape, the instructions were weird (it just says to sew the sides and not the bottom of the pouch??), and my brain was too tired to figure out how to make it work.

Overall, it was a frustrating project that required me to basically design it myself and make corrections on the pattern. Lesson learned: some patterns on Etsy are AI scams.

Oh yeah, leather used: Adria Leather-Lichen Sage for the outer part, and Grey Taupe Pigskin Suede Hides for the lining.

Must…the cat…

(Couldn’t help it 😂. He was in full greeble attack mode, so I had to poke him and make him believe the greebles got one over him.)

Meowmy do an’ abandon. (I went for a walk.) So ai wait an’ wait in frunt ob da door.

…FurEVA!

Den, da door open wif mai powahs! (I finished my 10 minute walk, and opened the front door to go back inside.)

Frens! Deres a hole wurld out dere! It smells! It smells fresh!

But den…MEOWMY SKWASHED MAI NOSE! (I quickly bent down, put my hand on his face, and pushed him back inside. He’s an indoor cat, and I don’t want him to develop a habit of escaping.)

Da INDIGNATEE! How dare meowmy toutch mai bootiful nose?! It is sakwred!

Hmph!

—Leo da meowgnificent

Hmm…wut shud mai necks lessun bee…? It needz ta be sumting powahful. Like BAM! WHOOSH! BOOM! Lyke a powahful hork ware yor bodee danses befor horkin’!

…

Horkin’! Ob kourse! Ai needa do a big hork rite meow!

…

…But wut if da greebles eet mai hork?

…Hmmmm…

How does a catto hork elegantly an’ safelee? Ai needa do sum maffs…

…So if ai hork frum real hii up, da projektile comes at an ark. Da formula for arks iz 2chimkin pot pie(furfur/9cat lives)…so if da hiight is a cat tree, an ai tilt mai hed up at 248338 degrees…

…Aaagh! Mai hed hurtz!

No! Mai tummy a rumblin’! Need sum fuds…

…

…Wut iz da meownin’ ob lyfe?

…

…hm…Hm!…HMMMM!!

…Dis needs a big tink…

—Leo da meowgnificent an’ Assistant Pawfessurr at SSoR

Ai show meowmy kouponz ob burgurrs. She say “no”. Hooman stingee.

Sum fureber dayz layter, she bai big burgurr. Ai gets eggcited, so ai runrunrun ta her.

…But den…

…she eet in frunt ob mi, an’ she no shayr!!

AI PURROTEST! AI ANGWY!

…ai hungwy…

(Leo lost some weight…but then he gained it right back when my dad was sneaking him more cake. I caught my dad sneaking him a huge crumb of cake today, so I staunchly ignored Leo’s begging eyes as I ate my burger.)

Mai meowmy dum dum. Ai hyde in da bestest playse eva! …But she no find me! Ai wanna play wif sum smarter cattos. Letz play!—Leo da meowgnificent