u/Maleficent_Past6872

My girlfriend (20F) and I (22M) have been dating for a few months now and we have been running into some difficulties per se In our relationship.

For some background, She is the pastor’s daughter at a southern Baptist church in Maine. They moved here from North Carolina to start a church in a small town. Her mother seems to make all the rules in the house regarding what they can and can’t do. He dad doesn’t care but always says, “it’s your mom’s rule”. Just to list off some rules.
•we can’t ride alone in a vehicle together
•we can’t be alone in a room together
•no touching at all
•she goes through her phone
•if she forgets to put gas in the car one day, she has to fill everyone’s car for the whole week
•she doesn’t believe in hospitals, therapy, or vaccines
•if you have an issue, bottle it down and do not talk to anyone about it. It’s yours to figure out on your own.

Some aren’t bad but like some are just controlling and, she doesn’t fully agree with them but if she speaks out, her mom yells at her and will tell her it must not be in her heart to obey her.
Well I attend a Calvary Chapel church. We met through some family friends who talked about us and we decided to get to know each other. We both really like each other and we do plan to get married down the road but the marriage conversations started to show some differences in our faith lives.

She told me that her dad has a long list of requirements that I have to meet before I can marry her. One being how much I give in the church offering. They believe that you have to give 10% or greater of your weekly income every Sunday. I believe that you should give with your heart (which is typically more than 10% honestly but sometimes it can be less depending on what you have on you.) that became an issue because her dad is saying that he will call my pastor and ask him how much I donate to the church on a weekly basis. It’s not an issue because of how much I do give, it’s an issue because that makes it feel forced and honestly it’s between me and God, not me and him.

The next thing is church membership. I grew up Southern Baptist so I am familiar with it but I strongly disagree with it. It is not biblical and it adds a level of classism to the church that does not belong. I do understand that not all churches treat it that way but this is what she said to me, “when we see that someone is not a member, we know that they are not here for the real thing. They are just here for the ride.” And that offended me. I did let her know that and she apologized but she said that’s just how they see it and that I should become a member.

Next, the question of what church we will attend came up. She plays piano at her church and her dad is the pastor. She has no intention to ever leave her church but I think my church has better teaching styles and values. This ones hasn’t been a huge issue but it can become one in the future.

Next, I’m going to a wedding this week so I asked her if she wanted to go. She said she needed to ask her parents if we can ride together or if we can ride separately. They said no either way. We can’t ride together and it’s too far to go separate. (About 1 hour away) I didn’t understand why but I didn’t argue.

Next, we actually got permission to ride together alone one time for about 10 mins down the road. (Her parents followed us to every place) well she decided to ask again after about a week and a half and they blew up on her saying she should know better than to ask so soon and they she should not expect it to happen again.

Finally the hat… I wear hats to church all the time and nobody bats an eye. Well this past Sunday, I wore a hat at her church and her mom texted her about 5 times during the service telling me to take it off now. Let me just say, there was about 4 other people wearing at hat, men and women. The first time, I said no but after the 5th I just put it on the ground. During the night service I kept it in the whole time and I didn’t fold. If she wants to control my entire relationship that is one thing considering it’s with her daughter but when you single me out and try and control me then I draw the line. I told her I would gladly talk to her about it but she didn’t wanna hear it.

I need some advice, what do I do?? We both really like eachother but it’s getting harder and harder everyday

We went on a dive trip and were looking for places to stay since we were going to be in the area for a while. First we toured the “Shrek house” on my old college campus which was immensely beautiful but very unsettling. The lights were very dim in each room and each time you would flip a switch, it would take exactly 2 minutes for the lights to turn on. It was very much a cabin style mansion. As all this was happening my vision kept flashing to me waking up in a bed at an unknown location. I was watching a Cam2 R tiktok that was causing me high levels of fear and anxiety. I kept freaking out and trying to turn it off but then I’d always end up back where I was before(Like falling back asleep in the dream). I was back leaving the Shrek house but couldn’t find my phone. I panicked and just ran to the door because everyone had left and I became very uncomfortable, as if I was being watched. As I was running through the house, i realized that things were off, fireplaces were blocking off some staircases, chairs looked funny, things were just weird. I told everyone that I left my phone in there, when I reached down… It was in my pocket. I disregarded this even though I was sure that it was not on my person. After that we went to some sort of crocodile themed bounce house to prove a point about why I thought a room was curved like the final big ship in interstellar but, it was just an optional illusion. At this point I became lucid but I couldn’t change anything no matter how hard I tried. The room was very creepy and I felt like I was being watched. I turned around and my friends were standing in the Queue exit line for the place talking to me from the distance. I noticed a woman in the queue entrance line was walking slowly towards me. I knew she was bad news, she kept calling me over to her saying, “grab my hand”, “touch me”, “let me show you”. She was big bad news and I was terrified. Everyone around me was saying I was being paranoid about her so, I ran up to her as fast as possible to prove my point and face my fears. She had blonde hair and a greenish grey Jumpsuit on. Her face was unrecognizable as if switching between 100 different faces every second. When I got to her she stopped and yelled, “KEN DOLL” as she reached out and touched me. I instantly felt my soul leave my body as everything around me stopped and went black slowly. It was like a tingling sensation as I was falling further into my body. Then I was back. Right in front of her. She did it again. And again. “KEN DOLL”. “KEN DOLL”. “KEN DOLL”. Over and over as I kept feeling the sensation of death as I felt my limbs stiffen up in unison as if i myself was becoming a lifeless doll at the hands of the unknown woman. Then I was back. Back in bed on my phone trying to turn off that video but, something was different. I got the video off then cove(my dog) started growling. I look over and I realize where I was. I was back in the same place I first saw the woman but, I was also back at the first place we went to. It was as if they merged. I look further into the distance and I see her. The same woman waving at me… calling me over. That’s was cove was growling at. In my fear I tried to fall asleep as fast as I could to avoid any contact. As time went on I heard the steps get closer and closer. Cove vanished. The steps stopped. I was awake.