Don't know if this helps....
Hello- I am mid-60s who is still very interested in sex- stay in good shape- fit. We have been married 21 years and most of it without any steady, healthy, sexual relationship. It was ok at the very beginning, ok enough, I guess, but I saw some trouble signs. I'm an optimist at heart and thought it be ok. It has not been.
We've been to therapy, had many shouting conversations and many calm, measured ones too about what I'm missing. I rant, she's silent. Nothing works when the other person is not willing to try. I will concede that there is not much emotional intimacy left. That's probably both of our issues. Oddly, I don't feel rejected, I feel frustrated at being denied. Either way, the resentment causes distance.
We are roommates, and our emotional intimacy, if we had much, is gone too. I wake up every day resenting my situation and spend a lot of wasted time chasing some kind of reinforcement that I am desirable (I am).
Do we have the means to divorce- yes. We have enough money and kids are grown.
I could ramble but here's really what I want to say to anyone still reading: my first wife and I divorced when we were about 30- I barely remember what she looks like. She meant a lot to me then- deeply in love and the divorce was crushing- but it is water WAY under the bridge now.
If you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, maybe even 50s, and are afraid to move on- clinging...I don't think in most cases it ever gets better. And what you're giving up, moving on from...may be just a distant memory some day.
My wife is the best person I have ever met but we are not compatible in many ways. Will I move on- probably not. Why? I don't want to hurt her or me- and inertia, maybe. Fear of change? Maybe. But at 67 it makes more sense than at 27 or 37 or 47.
I really believe in marriage, and don't want to try to influence anyone but, if you move on, you may very well "forget" the person who is causing you daily agony, especially if you are lucky enough to find someone who fills this void.
It's not just sex. It's physical contact like a man and woman should be- not a friend.
And then maybe, when you're my age, you will have turned your depressing situation into one that is much more joyous, fulfilling and complete and not live with this day to day sadness at losing out one of the most beautiful things God gives us- physical intimacy.
And for me, the no-win frustration of a spouse who is not interested in sex but also not willing to let me find it elsewhere- is a frustrating straight jacket- especially for someone who is eager to solve a problem (not ignore it) and proactive about pursuing what I want (not passive).
No kidding, it's a bad situation.