Relationship is ruined
I don't want to give too much backstory but me and my SO were extremely happy prior to having a baby, we rarely argued in the 4 years we've been together, I could probably count the number of times we did on one hand.
Since LO was born (4 months old), I'm constantly upset because my partner doesn't take care of our baby or me at all. He works 8:30-6:00pm monday-friday and it takes him half an hour to get to/from work. He will wake up 10 minutes before he needs to leave the house, and will immediately throw himself into his hobbies when he gets home and on weekends.
I'm exclusively breastfeeding with the exception of 1 bottle of expressed milk at bedtime which to be fair to him, he does give because LO will have a longer first stretch of sleep if given a bottle and cannot smell mum! If I try to put her down she will cry.
Once she is down for bed, I pump, cook us dinner, do the washing/cleaning and then go to bed too where I get about half an hour of sleep before LO wakes up. The rest of the night she won't go back down into her bassinet so cosleeps with me.
I've tried asking my partner to wake up in the night to help settle her/change nappies as she is more likely to settle and for longer periods, he promises he will then it doesn't happen.
He does no chores around the house, never cooks or cleans up after himself unless I ask him to specifically do something.
I feel like I'm constantly having to ask for support or for him to be present as a parent and I've cried almost every other night and begged him to help out more. The frustrating part is he puts his head down, apologises and promises to do better every single time, only for it to not happen. I just wish he would either have it out with me and tell me what's stopping him from doing more or engage properly in a conversation and plan how he will do more rather than just nodding and agreeing. I desperately want him to follow through with his word. At the moment I'm only sleeping for 30 mins-1.5 hours per day, I'm constantly feeding or carrying our baby. I'm the only one who ever plays/talks with her.
Is this an issue he has with binding with our baby? Or does he just not care or love me enough anymore to help out?
I'm so burnt out that I feel I'm not being the mum that i want to be and my milk supply is tanking as a result of the exhaustion and depression.
Any suggestions on how to get a partner to be more helpful around the house or more present as a parent?