u/Material-Escape-6558

As the title says it’s the enjoyment, feeling too happy and positive reactions no longer make it entirely so-I’ve without denial of she gender attraction and arousal.

Yesterday I saw my same gender work colleague and I fejt so aroused abd the thoogjt of touching her vagina fejt so aligned I didn’t panic but I only stressed a bit why I felt that way and wondering if it means I’m lesbian in denial. It feels aligned with me and I genuinely enjoy it but then I search for reassurance and evaluate my reaction to that gay thought.

This morning, I was feeling in a pre so-ocd aroused mood (how I used to feel when getting aroused yo men before sexuality was an issue and before so-ocd onset) abd I was feeling happy but it was mixed in with thoughts of colleagues vagina and I continued to feel pre hocd. But the image of her naked didn’t feel intrusive. I continued to enjoy the feeling and it was like the thoogjt if her was giving the arousal more umph. I just let these feelings be but I more I let them be the more aroused I become to them.

When I’m not aroused I feel indifferent to lesbian thoughts but when I’m aroused they feel so intense and I feel so relaxed and happy

In the above text, did I mention any compulsions, am I still doing them ?

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I never get an urge to masturbate to men abd only men. The only urges I get are with men on the background but women at the front and to masturbate regardless with the thoughts of women in my head. This just happened: I thought of a same gender friend then I had the thought are you looking at her vagina and I fejt like I wanted to masturbate to it and i felt so pre hocd then anxiety flooded by body. It’s at the time of the thought it’s real, i only know it’s intrusive when I’m anxious. Again this afternoon, I was thinking if an old sane gender work colleague and thought of her vagina (never saw her like this before and not seen her for like 7yrs) then Had the the thoogjt vaginas are sexy then I fejt turned on thinking about gets. My body went clammy and cold but I still continued to feel turned on and didn’t understand why I was panicking. It didn’t feel intrusive or unwanted

Edit: . On the back of this I went to meet a friend. she told me the bathroom had a glass door, she’s just come back from holiday. I they felt really aroused at the time of the thought to her naked as well as the feeling of being with men and this provoked a strong urge to masturbate to men. what was causing the arousal

I’ve been diagnosed with so-ocd 4-5 times over the last 2yrs. In the early days it clearly was as I was very anxious and grossed out by same sex thoughts.

Please don’t say it’s normal for straight women to be aroused by lesbian pirn cos this is why I’m in this state. Some stupid non ocd therapist has taught me to become aroused to it by this comment and words can’t explain how much I hate them!!!!! Before so-ocd o found lesbian open gross and would vomit.

But now my reactions to it have done a 180. This morning I was happily watching the world go by and I felt aroused to my friend naked (never saw her like this ever ) during the thought I had a little arghh arghh to suppress the arousal but I’m not even panicking and I liked it the arousal the thought gave and I’m thinking cool I like this at the time of the thought. But 20 mins post thought im replaying the thought and I now feel indifferent. I’m stressing over why I reacted and feel positive this at the time of the thought

Am I genuinely enjoying same gender sexual thoughts based on what I described above ? Or is it just so-ocd tricking me ? I’ve heard someone can have so-ocd and be gay/bi in denial at the same time ? Is this what’s going on here ? Can you please give me some insight ?

I just went to masturbate and started off with men. Then as I was orgasminonv I felt good by allowing the thoughts of a footballers girlfriend being seduced I think by him then get posing naked but I carried on masturbating and the thoigjys of her took over so am I getting off to her ?. I tried stop stop when the thoughts of her come into my mind but the arousal overrode it. Now I associate good masturbation with her and it didn’t feel intrusive!! I know the post masturbation analysis is the compulsion but at the time of the thought it feels too enjoyable. It’s almost like I’m checking to prove convince myself I wasn’t getting off to a gay thought when it’s obvious I was

Things had been getting better the last couple of weeks as I’d started a new job and during this time I had no thoigjys about sexuality.

But today at work one of my same gender colleagues was talking about having another baby and I fejt nice arousal in my groin thinking about same gender genitalia . I fejt a little lump in my throat initially but as the thought and arousal progressed it felt like being turned on by same gender genitals fejt so like me

Im stressing about it now that im not horny but when I have these spontaneous horny moments, the arousal just feels too good

I’ve been having this thought repeatedly this afternoon about touching favourite footballers girlfriend naked and not doing compulsions and don’t feel the need to. but when I let the sensation it produces be I feel like myself before hocd and when I think of touching a woman naked the sensations produced are the sexual feelings I used to get with men. During the thoughts this afternoon I’ve been so chilled. But I can’t understand hoe this can’t be discovery even in finding sane gender thoughts are giving off historic pleasurable feelings. I feel neutral towards it now that I’m in an indifferent mood but when I’m heightened like earlier I got swept away and enjoyed it thinking it was no biggie

I’ve been feeling caught up by what’s happened today and feeling anguished.

I’m a girl btw always used to be straight.

Constantly horny towards touching women all morning!!! I’m crying cos I feel this way but the thought of it just feels really like me and that I like it. I feel the way I did before it all started when this happens!! All too natural now. I find the thought of touching vaginas arousing and it feels natural and I feel pre hocd. Am I really finding it arousing ? Abd this one was about a friend who I’ve known for 7yrs but don’t see so much of now and never saw her like this.

I feel better when I’m not horny but the only horniness o get is towards women

Can you relate if this is hocd or not ?

I’m at my mates house at a BBQ. When I walked in I fejt aroused with a groinal to one of my best mates naked as she’s wearing shorts and then I liked the thought of touching a woman. But throughout all this I feel totally pre hocd like nothings happened and the way I fejt when k was straight. I’m feeling really quiet and not in the mood to socialise with my mates. Bit I feel like I can carry on as normal despite these arousal, thoughts abd same gender arousal. Is this still hobd ?

I woke up feeling horny to masturbate to men so I did and when thoigjys of women came in I fejt no arousal. As the masturbation and stimulation. progressed I found thoughts of women arousing whilst feeling the way I did before hocd and o decided that I was feeling arousal to the women and didn’t care and I’m not freaking out but now I’m stressing why I’m feeling like this. Every time I have thoigjys about naked women they give me urges to masturbate to men abd at the time of the thought it feels so good and arousing. In other words when I’m stimulated the thought of women feels so good then this leads to alarm bells ringing why I reacted like this

I’ve been dwelling in the above all morning, so I just went to masturbate again cos I felt horny I allowed thoughts of naked women whilst doing so and it fejt the best cos I fejt the way I did before hocd. So I repeated the sequence again cos it fejt so good whilst allowing a thought of a woman in my head. I’m not even anxious!!!!! So am o really masturbating to women ??

I just had a masturbation session abd I was simultaneously enjoying a thought of having sex with same gender friend and during this thought I fejt the way I did with men in the background. I happily masturbated with this thought in my head whilst masturbating the way I used to pre hocd but wasn’t thinking of men. This session fejt so good and I fejt relief for letting my brain have the thought abd wanted to carry on whilst it was there. I didn’t recoil and I’m not freaking out. So was I masturbating to having sex with my friend

Edit: So maybe better put I didn’t develop a story of having sex with her I just masturbated with the thought of having sex with her in my head without a story unfolding and whilst doing so I was thinking of men at the same time. Does that make more sense ?

When I feel in a happy mood I feel turned on by same gender friends naked and it feels so natural and I don’t panic and don’t care. On the back of this, “When I feel in a happy mood I feel turned on by same gender friends naked and it feels so natural and I don’t panic and don’t care”

I then went on to masturbate the way I used to pre hocd with the above thoughts and feelings and accepting them whilst I was doing so abd I fejt better and that felt less sticky but they feel naturally part of my masturbation experiences now and didn’t care though don’t want these same gender thoughts. Was I masturbating to the sane gender thoughts

As I fejt so good I keep masturbating to the above scenario and naked woman keep coming up and I feel fine and good. Whilst masturbating I can’t masturbate and focus on dixks all o could focus on was masturbating abd thoughts of naked woman whilst getting off

Please andeeer

1. Where the intrusive thought and compulsion are ?

2. Was i masturbating to same gender ?

3. Is this hocd ?

I’m a girl btw. I read a comment on another sub from a girl I have a vagina can I see a guy cumin then I read the guys comments saying yes I’ll send you a video then I fejt really aroused by the guys comments like true magic and I started masturbating I couldn’t resist but there was also an image of a vagina in my head. Was this a straight fantasy ? After masturbating, whilst some leftover arousal when I thought of dicks I fejt nothing but when I thought of vaginas I fejt better arousal like the one I described above

I’m finding gay thoughts arousing abd feeling like I did before hocd and feeling happier about it now but still have a little recoil but I’m less bothered about the arousal now.

Also, I just saw a lesbian couple on social media and this mental image of them in my head is a cue for me to keep masturbating to men. I wonder what this means about my sexuality. But why do I need a gay thought to feel pre hocd arousal and have a good masturbation session ?

Am I still straight or is this gay woman behaviour

I was asking myself if gay thoigjys were growing on me abd I think yes cos when I think of a naked woman I feel really happy and pre ocd but only have a little suppress

I find it really odd that when I think about sake gender thoigjys that’s when I feel most horny to wank to opposite gender so it doesn’t make sense. Why is the most pre ocd feeling happening here or is it because I’m really aroised to the gsy thoughts and I feel pre ocd arousal regardless of the gender I’m aroused by ?

Thinking about it again, I feel naturally pre hocd horny when thinking about touching same gender naked!! Then I feel as if ocd never happened but I don’t feel like I’ve changed. Is this a natural acceptance of being gay now that I’m not reacting yo the gay thoughts here

This morning I was agitated by gay thoughts and thought when I’m agitated they’re gross but this mood is no way to live. But when I feel relaxed abd aroused I e joy gsy thoigjys so can’t win either way. I went swimming and when I’m the swimming pool, 30 mins later I cast my mind back to an earlier thoigjys of a same gender I influencers vagina then I naturally fejt aroused by a man in the background looking at it and I fejt aroused thinking about the bvagiba it was a strong cue to masturbate. I accepted what happened it and felt great but now because of my positive reaction I’m stressing this can’t be normal for a straight woman this had got to make me gay in denial

This afternoon out the blue I again got spontaneously turned in by women and this leads to despair, I have no natural autodial towards men anymore. in recent weeks I’m feeling less bothered by arousal to woman and I’m like yeah I can just carry on

I was on the train 20 mins ago and was thinking about women in going to see them on a train. Then the one who sat opposite me I fejt really aroused by. As I sat with the arousal I feel really turned on during the arousal. When I got off the train (that’s where I intended to get off) I started getting agitated that it had happened and couldn’t get anxious during the thought. Now that I’m home the arousal has gone abd I feel indifferent ?

I was feeling happy relaxed and excited when walking to the shops then I automatically thought about touching a same gender friend abd fejt pre hocd arousal and I did a few stop stops but the arousal during this thought felt so good and pre hocd. Am I aroused yo the thought of touching my friend naked or was it just a background noise thought. I’m it’s all well and good the thoigjys just being there without any accompanying emotions. Whereas with me, when it’s in my head I feel so happy and aroused simultaneously for it to be hocd

I was watching tv had a thought about a woman in the programme I was watching masturbating and sat with it and fejt pre hocd but didn’t get the urge for a compulsion during the thought and this bugs me that I’m in denial

These episodes are the only spontaneous good arousal I get these days

Every day the target changes, I feel aroused by a same gender person who I used to know and haven’t seen for years. Today it’s been an old school friend I haven’t seen since I was age 16 and I’ve been having unwanted thoughts about touching her naked

But when I was reviewing old school friend episodes from earlier to determine the arousal level. I then thought about the friend I haven’t seen since I was 16yrs old and found the thought of her masturbating so arousing and I was like yeah whatever I do find it arousing whilst feeling pre hocd. I mean by pre hocd the same happy effortless arousal I used to feel with men pre hocd .Then I didn’t get worked up about the arousal and now I’m getting worked up cos I didn’t panic and thinking I’m genuinely enjoying it and refusing to accept it cos o get strong arousal at the time of these thoughts