u/MeanAd9643

Sorry it's a very long message and sorry if my english is bad, i'm french. And also sorry if many of you are going to be disgusted by what i wrote.

What i want to say is that I think I am a narcissist. I know i should go see a therapist to confirm that because i can't do it myself but I'm starting to notice some paterns and i'd like to know what you all think about it. A few days ago I blocked the only friend I had that i've known for 4 or 5 years. But not because he did something bad in particular but simply because I couldn't stand the fact that he liked me, which is very odd. It's odd because since i was a child i've always wanted that someone knows me perfectly, to have a connection with someone because I was ignored a lot because I was a bit weird.

And i finally found that with him but it scared the shit out of me because I couldn't stop thinking "what if he tries to manipulate me for validation ? What if one day we argue and he says what he truly thinks about me ? What if one day he just leave ?" and that was very cognitively demanding because I had those thought all the time and because of this everytime when he would  say something that annoyed me, i pretended like I wasn't mad and never tried to argue with him, or at least I never tried to have a huge fight with him.
But because of this I had constantly those conflicted feelings where I felt a lot of resentment when I wasn't on a phone with him, but when i was on the phone with him, well it was fun but I also felt nothing at the same time, idk how to explain it's weird, for example he would constantly saying nice things about me and it felt sort of good but at the same time i couldn't believe him because i thought "why would you like me ? If you are the only one here that must mean there's something wrong with you right ?" .

It also didn't help that we have almost the exact same insecurities, the same dark thoughts and that sometimes he would talk about how he manipulates (he's not evil, don't get me wrong). There's even one time when he talked about how he would like to be the mentor in a "mentor and student relationship" (idk if you understand lol) and I thought "wait are you trying to do that with me ?". And so i blocked him, because I just couldn't stand the constant fear, i just wanted it to stop.

But then I realized something that was fucked up, I almost....enjoyed doing that  in a way ? Not because I'm sadistic but because I was imagining a scenario in my head where he'll try to come back or where he would be depressed because I wasn’t there.
And then I realized that I always had this kind of behaviour, ignoring someone to see if he comes back or just blocking someone because i don't feel important anymore. I did that with my GF multiple times and then one day I saw that she wasn't really responding to my messages anymore, got scared of being nothing, so i left. Did the same thing with another great friend I had a while back, he had a crazy GF, told him multiple times to break up with her, didn't listen to me so I left because I felt useless, and he actually came back in with a message but i blocked him again. 
It's a very childish and pathetic behaviour but sometimes i feel like i can't stop doing that, because it's the only moments where i sort of feel alive a little bit ? or precisely i think "oh ! people noticed that i'm here in this world" it's hard to explain.

About the feeling of superiority, I have that but a little, most of the time i actually despise myself and think I don't deserve to be a human being, the only thing I feel superior about is the fact that I'm very self aware most of time, like i hate people that are in denial about how they feel or who they truly are. And because of this I constantly think “well if i suck about everything in life, at least i’m good at being aware of it”(even though it’s been a long time that i’ve realized that being self aware became a curse for me because it has no use if you don’t do anything to improve your behaviour) . And I also like to show to people who watch dumb shows that i watch critically aclaimed tv shows. It’s dumb i know but that’s what i do.

But i think i’m more of a covert narcissist like the youtuber Dr.K talked about in a video ? Because most of the time I don’t seek validation with arrogance, most of the time i don’t even want to be the center of attention (i mean yes and no) but I do often say in a subtle way something bad about myself in order to have reassurance. I also realized that i don’t really care about people most of time ? The friend i blocked a few days ago is the best example, I never cared about him really ? I was never interested with what he liked or with his problems. I mean again yes and no, because sometimes i would feel bad about his problems and even listen to him till 5am but most of the times I was like “this again ?”

So yeah i think I have a problem. 

My message is going to be VERY VERY long but I have a lot to say. Also sorry if the english is (maybe)a bit odd, it's not my native language and this message was originally in french but I translated it with chatgpt because it is very long lol and I wasn't sure if i could translate it myself .

As for Season 1, I can't really give a proper opinion because I started my rewatch from Season 2. From what I had understood, Season 1 didn't really have an overarching storyline, and I was worried I'd lose interest in the show. Besides, even if it isn't that great, I don't hold it against the season. It's the beginning of the series, and sometimes writers need a whole season to figure out what works. I'll definitely give it another watch.

For me, Season 2 is by far the best season because you can really feel that the writers were trying to make the show more ambitious. First of all, this is where the series genuinely starts building an overarching narrative with the mysteries surrounding Franz Hopper, Aelita's virus, and the Fifth Territory.

It also tries, at least to some extent, to give the characters a bit more depth, even if it never goes very far. Aelita is obviously the character who gets the most development because she's so closely tied to the main story, and she's pretty much the only character with actual themes to explore, such as growing up without a family and struggling to fit into society. Yumi also gets a few interesting episodes, especially those dealing with her relationship with her parents.

I also think Sissi is at her best in this season, because it's the only time you really see her move beyond being just the stereotypical "mean girl." It's a shame they never pushed that further.

This is also the season where the stakes feel the highest. I thought it was a really clever idea to turn the Return to the Past into a double-edged sword: every time the Lyoko Warriors use it, X.A.N.A. becomes stronger. That means there are moments where they actually have to find another solution instead of relying on the reset button.

It's also the season where X.A.N.A. shines the most. Over the course of about twenty episodes, you can actually watch it evolve. It gradually becomes smarter and more powerful, which even makes the filler episodes feel meaningful because they're all contributing to X.A.N.A.'s rise.

You can also tell the season's narrative structure was really well put together because everything that gets introduced throughout the season becomes important in the final two episodes, which are, in my opinion, the best episodes in the entire series.

Everything comes together brilliantly: Aelita's virus, Franz Hopper, all of it. Watching Ulrich fight his X.A.N.A. clone is awesome because, once again, it shows just how much stronger X.A.N.A. has become over the course of the season.

But the real gem is the season finale.

The fact that X.A.N.A. actually wins at the end is incredible—not just because it's unexpected, but because its escape from the supercomputer into the global network completely changes the stakes and opens up so many new possibilities.

And the entire sequence where X.A.N.A. wins is fantastic. It trapping the Lyoko Warriors makes perfect sense because we've watched it slowly become more intelligent throughout the season. The fake-out death of Aelita, followed by the moment where X.A.N.A. takes control of every tower, is genuinely terrifying. Then Franz Hopper sacrifices himself, and Aelita regains fragments of her memories, which tease even more mysteries surrounding her mother.

Honestly, it's the best episode of the series. You can really tell the writers were trying to take the show to the next level.

Of course, it's far from perfect.

One of the biggest problems is that Aelita is the only character who gets a real character arc. The others feel surprisingly empty. For example, I couldn't tell you anything particularly interesting about Odd besides the fact that he's immature, loves food, and loves his dog. That's basically his entire personality. There's no real progression.

The same goes for the rest of the cast. They often feel more like plot devices than actual people with their own inner lives. Whenever the show does try to give them more substance, it only scratches the surface.

There are also quite a few plot conveniences that require a lot of suspension of disbelief, and I've always struggled with the power scaling on Lyoko.

Finally, Franz Hopper's return feels like a deus ex machina, and instead of answering questions, it only raises even more of them.

I honestly can't decide whether Season 3 or Season 4 is the worst season of the series. The reason I say that is because it feels like the show completely loses the ambition it had in Season 2.

When X.A.N.A. escaped into the Network, I was incredibly excited because I thought everything was about to change. I expected chaos. I expected to actually see X.A.N.A.'s influence spread throughout the real world and for it to become a truly terrifying threat. In other words, I expected the status quo to change.

But while watching Season 3—and especially Season 4—I kept asking myself why the writers even bothered having X.A.N.A. escape into the Network in the first place, because at no point did it actually feel any different.

It's honestly weird that Season 2, despite being longer, felt much shorter to watch than Season 3, because in Season 3, not much really happens. The Lyoko Warriors spend the whole season trying to find a way into the Network while X.A.N.A. tries to destroy the Supercomputer.

That's fine in theory, but I also wanted to know what X.A.N.A. was actually doing. The guy has infiltrated the global Network... and nothing is happening in the outside world?

This is also the season where it became really hard for me to suspend my disbelief. If X.A.N.A.'s goal is to destroy Lyoko, why does it only decide to do it in the season finale?

What was even the point of obtaining the Keys to Lyoko if it couldn't use them whenever it wanted? It should've been able to simply disable the Tower system and destroy Lyoko from its side.

Maybe Franz Hopper was somehow preventing that? Sure... maybe? But we have absolutely no idea what Franz is actually doing. We don't even know what he's supposedly been doing on Lyoko since the end of Season 2.

That's the problem with Franz Hopper: he isn't really a character. He's a plot device. He's the deus ex machina who shows up at the last second with a conveniently written program to save the Lyoko Warriors.

But let's assume X.A.N.A. genuinely couldn't destroy Lyoko—or maybe I simply missed an explanation.

Even then, there's still another problem.

Considering how absurdly powerful X.A.N.A. has become, I don't understand how it still hasn't managed to destroy the Supercomputer.

It can possess people, manipulate the weather, materialize monsters in the real world... and yet it can't destroy a single computer?

That might sound like I'm nitpicking, but it's actually really important because, while watching these episodes, I kept thinking, "X.A.N.A. is just unbelievably stupid."

And I understand why.

Because if X.A.N.A. destroys the Supercomputer... the show is over.

That's why I don't really understand when people say Season 3 is more focused. In one sense, yes—but at the same time, I constantly found myself thinking:

"Dude... you could destroy Lyoko whenever you want."

And because of that, the stakes completely disappear.

On top of that, now that X.A.N.A. is no longer trapped inside the Supercomputer, the Lyoko Warriors can use Return to the Past as many times as they want without any consequences.

So every time an episode revolved around someone discovering the factory or Lyoko, I couldn't take it seriously because I already knew there was always the Return to the Past option.

Narratively, that's a disaster.

Nothing has any lasting impact anymore. Nothing really matters.

Another issue is the season finale.

On paper, I actually like the idea of William getting trapped on Lyoko because it raises the stakes and gives the characters a new objective.

The problem is the execution.

First of all, I love how there's absolutely no explanation for why William is somehow the only person who remembers discovering the factory after Return to the Past is used.

Once again, it's just a plot convenience disguised as "destiny" or something along those lines.

More importantly, it doesn't feel earned.

I would've preferred to see the Lyoko Warriors gradually learning to trust William enough to let him join them on Lyoko. That would've also been a great opportunity to develop his character.

Instead, everything happens over the course of just two episodes.

Even worse, Yumi never really had a good reason to keep refusing to let him come in the first place.

Which leads to another issue.

It's William's very first mission on Lyoko... and he's immediately turned into a villain.

The problem is that, since he barely had any character development beforehand, I wasn't particularly upset when X.A.N.A. captured him.

I would've much rather seen him spend several episodes fighting alongside the Lyoko Warriors before his corruption.

On top of that, it makes the main cast look incredibly stupid.

They literally brought William on one of the most dangerous missions imaginable despite the fact that he'd never fought on Lyoko before.

Finally, once again, I think the idea of X.A.N.A. winning by destroying Lyoko is good on paper.

The problem is...

What was the point?

Lyoko is rebuilt almost immediately afterward.

Once again, Franz Hopper simply acts as a deus ex machina.

So in the end, it doesn't really feel like anything important happened... aside from William being captured.

Season 4 is one of the most frustrating TV seasons I've ever watched. It introduces a lot of interesting ideas and has plenty of epic moments, but in the end it suffers from exactly the same problems as Season 3. On top of that, it has one of the most frustrating and downright insulting series finales I've seen in a long time.

First of all, this is the season where my suspension of disbelief completely reached its limit. I simply cannot believe that X.A.N.A. is still incapable of destroying the Supercomputer.

The guy literally sends a meteorite and a freaking airplane at the factory... and still fails?

At that point it honestly becomes funny, especially because he doesn't even need to go to such ridiculous lengths in the first place.

I understand that the writers couldn't actually let him destroy the Supercomputer because the show would be over, but I really wish they had introduced some kind of limitation or weakness that explained why he couldn't.

Since this is also the season with the most action, I might as well mention another issue I have: the fight scenes often suffer from inconsistent power scaling.

I never really know how strong the Lyoko Warriors are supposed to be because sometimes they defeat the exact same enemies effortlessly, while other times they lose for no apparent reason.

There are even moments where it genuinely feels like they're losing simply because the script says they have to.

Aelita is probably the biggest example.

I can't count how many times I was yelling at my screen because she would randomly forget she had certain abilities.

Sometimes she literally forgets that she can fly.

Again, that might sound like a minor complaint, but it makes the battles much harder to take seriously because I never have a clear understanding of the characters' limits.

Sure, there are plenty of cool moments, but victories and defeats often feel dictated by the plot rather than by the characters' actual abilities.

Then we run into the exact same issue as in Season 3.

Throughout the entire season, I kept asking myself:

"What was even the point of X.A.N.A. escaping into the Network if it has virtually no impact on the world?"

When I saw X.A.N.A. operating in places like the Amazon or Mexico, I got really excited because, for once, it actually looked like it was doing something. I kept wondering what its grand plan was.

And then we find out it's trying to build an army of robots to conquer humanity.

On paper, that's not a bad motivation.

The problem is... why did X.A.N.A. need to escape into the Network to do that?

By that point it had become so ridiculously powerful that it probably could have accomplished the exact same thing without ever leaving the Supercomputer.

Then there's another thing I genuinely don't understand.

X.A.N.A. creates Replikas of Lyoko...

But why?

Maybe I completely missed something.

Can someone honestly explain this to me?

Why did X.A.N.A. bother creating Replikas inside the Network when doing so actually puts it at a disadvantage?

I don't remember the show ever properly explaining this.

I can sort of understand why it would need access to other Supercomputers, but the Replikas themselves make no sense to me.

I'd probably say the best part of the season is William.

As a villain, he has incredible presence.

But the way he's eventually brought back only highlights how surprisingly unintelligent X.A.N.A. actually is.

Now there are two things this season does that I find genuinely insulting to the audience, and I simply can't forgive them.

The first is William's return.

The guy spends who knows how many weeks trapped on Lyoko, completely isolated from everyone...

...and then he comes back perfectly fine.

I know this is a children's show, but if that's your target audience, then don't introduce storylines with serious psychological implications if you're just going to resolve them in the laziest way imaginable.

What makes it even worse is that some of the characters are actually angry at William, almost as if he'd willingly chosen to join the dark side.

Not only does that make absolutely no sense given everything that happened to him, but it's also a painfully lazy way to manufacture drama.

But for me, the absolute worst part of the season is the ending.

While watching Season 4, I genuinely believed that all the Replika storylines were building toward something huge—that we were finally going to see real consequences for everything that had happened.

Instead, the conflict is resolved by one single multi-agent program Jeremy conveniently creates.

Not only is that an incredibly unsatisfying ending, but it also makes almost the entirety of Season 4 feel like filler.

What was the point of watching twenty episodes of the Lyoko Warriors destroying Supercomputers if the actual solution has absolutely nothing to do with any of that?

Honestly, almost the entire finale irritated me.

There are countless plot conveniences, and half the characters' decisions barely make any sense.

I couldn't even understand why everyone was suddenly so eager to see William back on Lyoko.

It was just an incredibly disappointing conclusion.

And that's when I realized something that, to me, was honestly kind of depressing:

After Season 2, almost nothing truly matters anymore.

The story keeps moving, the characters keep doing things, but almost none of it has any lasting impact.

Very little has real consequences.

So yeah...

I genuinely think the last two seasons are the weakest ones in the entire series.