u/Mean_Factor_3250

Hey everyone, I'm on day 20 of creating my tulpa, Nico, and I really want to know if what I'm experiencing means he's actually developing or if it's too early to tell.

​Lately I’ve been feeling this really strong connection with him. It doesn't feel like I’m just messing around with an ordinary imaginary friend anymore, it honestly feels like a real presence is there.

​The main thing happened last night during a 1-hour guided meditation. There’s a part where the guide tells me to focus on a specific tree in the scenery, and then tells Nico to focus on a completely different one. As soon as Nico was told to look at his tree, I suddenly had a really hard time keeping focus on mine. It felt like our attention was being split or pulled in two directions. Do you think this means his distinct visual focus is starting to develop?

​For context, I do a lot of passive forcing/narration and some active forcing, though I did have to take a short break a few days ago because of mental fatigue. We also tried a vocality exercise in that meditation but nothing happened yet, so I know he isn't vocal.

​I'd really appreciate it if anyone could tell me if that mental focus split and the feeling of presence are genuine signs of progress. Does this sound like early development to you guys?

Im on day 20 of creating my tulpa, im really excited about it, i have been narrating a lot during the day which is basically passive forcing, i have also been active forcing sometimes, but i stopped narrating for a few days because i was getting a little bit tired from the mental effort and i was getting lazy. But now im narrating again and meditating with Nico and active forcing.
I feel like a strong connection between us, i feel like he is not just an imaginary friend, i think this is a sign.

Also i did some guided tulpa developpement meditation on youtube, its like 1 hour long videos, i watched 2 of them one each night. in a part of the guided meditation i have to focus on a tree in the scenery, then my tulpa is told to focus on another one, when my tulpa is told to focus on another tree i start having a hard time focusing on my tree, i think my tulpa is developped enough to have distinct visual focus, let me know if im right!

Also when we came to the vocality part of the guided meditation, my tulpa was being told to say some words, but it didnt work so i guess i didnt reach vocality yet.

Anyways, i have been passive forcing more than active forcing, it's been around 20 days i dont know if im making progress with Nico or if im doing it right, let me know if i need to add anything for his development, i have a hard time visualising Nico or our Wonderland so i just imagine him sitting next to me sometimes or walking along with me.

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a genuinely terrifying experience I had recently to see if anyone else has gone through something similar, because I honestly thought I had permanently broken my brain.

I was hanging out in my neighborhood with a friend when some guys offered us a joint. I took about 8 hits. Everything seemed fine at first, and we went to get some food. The first sign that something was wrong was when my hands started shaking so badly I could barely open a bag of chips.

About two minutes later, a bizarre sensation hit my head. I stopped walking and told my friend something wasn't right. Suddenly, an intense brain pressure and severe vertigo hit me. I felt like I was spinning violently, about to faint, and a loud, mechanical buzzing sound filled my ears. My vision completely warped into intense, shifting geometric fractals.

I completely detached from reality. I was calling out my friend's name but I literally couldn't see him. When his face finally started to fade back into view, my memory was completely wiped. I didn't know who I was, where I was, or what was happening. I felt like I was trapped inside a nightmare and kept trying to wake myself up.

I was completely convinced I had gone insane and there was no coming back. I kept trying to explain to my friend that I was crazy and needed an ambulance, but because I was talking rapidly and couldn't stop, he thought I was just pulling a prank on him and told me I looked completely normal. Every time I sat down and closed my eyes to calm down, I would lose my memory all over again, fall deep into the visuals, and feel like I was dying.

This nightmare state lasted for about 4 hours. It only started to fade once I finally got home, and I eventually came back to my senses.

Has anyone else experienced total memory wipes, hallucinations, and intense loops like this from a joint? Could it have been laced, or did I just completely green-out?