u/MeatyLiti

▲ 33 r/Samoa

Rule's to asking for a daughter's hand in marriage?

Hey there, I wanted to ask if there are any rules/ cultural norms to be observed when seeking permission to marry the daughter of Samoan heritage.

Quick backstory, I have been in a relationship with the daughter for 5 years. Have made mistakes earlier in our relationship that had been perceived as disrespectful due to my lack of knowledge of the culture. I'm still learning. This however is something I absolutely do not want to get wrong.

My partner made a comment earlier in our relationship that I would have to bring a gift of pisupo cans when asking, now that I am at that stage I'm wondering if that comment was in jest or if it's what I should do.

As an Aussie I feel as though I'd just ask the father, but her family is very Fa'a Samoa and so I want to ask in a way that's respectful of her culture and her family. I also don't want to ask her extended family as I want her parents and siblings to be the first to know of my intent. And I don't have any other Samoan friends to turn to outside of her close friends, who I don't think could keep this secret 😂.

So I turn to Reddit. Mods please delete if this is outside the scope of this subreddit.

reddit.com
u/MeatyLiti — 8 days ago