Quick disclaimer: English isn't my first language, and I wrote the original post myself. Some people were having a hard time catching what my actual questions were, so I used GPT to help organize the post and improve the flow. The experiences, concerns, and questions are mine; I just used it as an editing tool to make the post easier to follow. I am not jealous of anyone and I don't have narcissism. I am looking for suggestions and advice. I would be grateful. This is the only place and the last place i can ask ( 3min reading )

I’m a first-semester MSc student in a non-CS engineering program at a US Top 40 university, and I started my master's in fall 26. I’m independently funded through a scholarship rather than directly funded by my PI, although my PI specifically selected me to join his lab, and I worked with him during my application phase, and that work was submitted to a Q1 journal recently.

I ultimately want to become a professor, ideally at a highly ranked research university. A big part of that goal is personal: I come from a family and background with no education. My parents and relatives are illiterate, and Most of my relatives are unable to read this English post, let alone understand it.

I want to prove that someone without academic mentors, with such an illiterate family background, or an established research network can still reach the top of academia even in 2026.

Because of that, I care quite a lot about PhD placement, research productivity, and university/lab reputation.

My background

I completed my bachelors from a prestigious regional university in my continent last year. However, my undergraduate institution has a relatively weak research culture because of limited funding and broader socioeconomic conditions. It is more theory-oriented than research-oriented, so I didn't graduate with a network of professors or established research collaborations. For example, in the last 2 years, no students of my BSc major have published in Q2, let alone Q1. Some published in Q3 and in conferences.

Despite that, I worked hard independently and learned by myself. For example , i learned the difference between first author and corresponding author last week. i thought both are supposed to be same person.

I currently have a Q2 journal paper under review where I am both first author and corresponding author, as well as a conference paper, both co-authored with my BSc supervisor. I am in my 2nd month of my master's at this university.

I have also recently submitted a Q1 paper as first author with my current master's supervisor.

My current PI assigned me a co-supervisor from another top university as well. I realize that this may be something he does for many students, so I don't want to overinterpret it.

My Master research is also quite different from my BSc coursework. I learned much of the relevant material independently and was able to contribute to research in a field I had not formally studied before.

In general, I'm fairly multidisciplinary. I enjoy learning across STEM fields and seem to adapt relatively quickly when I encounter a new area.

I have also had multiple PhD offers in the US in different majors, including a Boston University PhD, although I ultimately chose this MSc instead (I will explain the reason below).

My long-term goal

I want to pursue a PhD at a very strong research university. I have a particular MIT lab in mind because its research is a good fit for my interests.

I understand that QS ranking itself is not the most important factor for PhD admissions. Advisor reputation, research fit, publications, recommendation letters, research potential, and academic networks can matter much more.

My labmate's situation

My Chinese labmate entered the Master's program at the same time as me. We are the same age, and both completed our bachelor's degrees at the same time.

However, his research situation is very different. He is from one of the richest families in china.

He has already published multiple Q1 papers as first author this year, based partly on work he had already done during last 2 years before entering our MSc. He is actively submitting more.

The key difference is that these papers are part of a large, existing collaboration network involving our current PI, his former BSc supervisor, and several other highly connected Chinese professors, including associate editors of major journals. He had an entire research network with him from undergraduate studies. However, his bachelor's supervisor was our PI's PhD senior, and both are Chinese.

He also already has PhD offers through our current lab/PI.

Both of us are interested in the same MIT lab, and our current PI has academic connections there. Because my labmate already has a strong publication record and an established relationship with this network, I worry that he will be prioritised for introductions or recommendations.

I also understand that this is not necessarily anyone's fault. He worked hard and built those relationships.

My frustration is more about comparing my individual effort with an established research pipeline.

Why this bothers me

My biggest question is:

If he can be this productive, why can't I?

Why can't I have a safety net ( i mean he already have phd offer from our pi in case he fails to admit in MIT, its just 2 months of masters) like him? Just because I am not Chinese? I know that comparing myself to someone with a completely different research infrastructure is probably unfair. But it is difficult not to feel like I am falling behind.

He has multiple first-author Q1 papers in this single year, and all of his co-authors are chinese professors. One professor is directly contributed for whole methodology part. i don't know even that case he is the 1st author. I don't know how much professors helped him in that research. What I know, my BSc university did not have those research lab facilities, let alone the ability to do this type of research.

I have had to build almost everything from scratch. i told you about the environment grew up.

Another difference is that I haven't historically used AI tools such as GPT for research, whereas he apparently does. His current h-index is around 5, while his i10-index is already in the double digits.

So objectively, I know there are major differences in our circumstances.

Emotionally, however, I still feel like a loser when I compare our research outputs.

The lab environment: friendly, but somewhat isolated

The interesting thing is that my lab itself is actually very friendly.

There is no obvious toxicity or mistreatment. Nobody behaves badly toward me. My PI is kind and supportive, and he has apparently praised my work ethics highly to other lab members when I wasn't present. Although I believe other Chinese members are more connected. I will explain later, with proof in this post below.

Because my research topic is not directly connected to his funded projects, he went out of his way to arrange a co-supervisor from another university for me. Although I believe that he does this for everyone.

So I don't want to portray my PI as a bad person. I don't think he is. He tells me that i am research mature student. That does not mean i will be left alone in the wild while he handfeed his masters student of his nationality just because that student is already supervised by his phd lab senior.

However, there are some things that make me feel somewhat isolated.

For example, I recently discovered that there is a lab WeChat group that I was never told about.

I communicate with my PI individually, so I don't know whether the group is mainly for his directly funded students, whether it is primarily a Chinese-language group, or whether I was simply overlooked. I am not included in lab food event plans (probably due to my food restrictions)

I also currently have no co-authorship opportunities within the lab.

My PI recently told me that I should aim for one Q1 paper during my MSc, and that this would be enough, particularly if it comes from the topic he assigned me.

I actually find the topic interesting, so I don't object to working on it.

But personally, I want to aim higher because I want to be competitive for a top PhD program.

The PhD concern

This is where I am most uncertain.

My labmate and I are both interested in the same MIT lab.

He has already told our PI that he intends to apply there, and he has potential PhD opportunities through our current PI. Infact prof said," you can just join my lab or my supervisers lab if you can't got into MIT."

I don't have that kind of established pathway. I have no such offers from my prof. Probably thats because of my language and nationality.[ i can not speak chinese ]

When I told my PI that I ultimately wanted to pursue a PhD at a highly ranked university, he basically told me not to worry about PhD applications yet and to enjoy my master's.

I understand that he may simply be trying to prevent me from stressing unnecessarily during my first semester.

However**, I rejected a PhD offer from Boston University to do this MSc( my pi knows about this), partly because I believed the MSc would give me stronger research opportunities for my long-term goals. Don't get me wrong, i check lab topics too. For example I love my current lab topics and can work on this topic whole day. [ Sad part is, i will still behind of many people or would not get a safety net,]**

So naturally, I am anxious about whether I am actually building the right profile.

We will apply for PhDs in 2027 for 2028 entry, so I still have time. But I don't want to waste that time.

What I am trying to understand

I genuinely don't know how to interpret this situation.

Am I experiencing subtle academic exclusion because I am an international, independently funded student(not by prof.) who isn't part of the existing network?

Or am I simply seeing the normal advantage that comes from having an established research network?

I don't want to accuse anyone of discrimination without evidence. At the same time, I don't want to be naïve about how academic networks work.

My questions

1. Am I experiencing subtle academic exclusion, or am I mainly seeing the enormous advantage of pre-existing institutional/research networks?
2. How can an independently funded student realistically increase research output when they don't have an established network of professors feeding them projects and collaborations?
3. How should I approach my PI? Would it be reasonable to ask whether I can join the lab's WeChat group, perhaps using translation tools if necessary?
4. Should I explicitly tell my PI that I want to aim for more than one Q1 paper during my MSc? Or would that come across as unrealistic or ungrateful?
5. How important are these internal lab networks for getting strong PhD recommendation letters? If my labmate has much closer connections with the existing network, should I be worried about being disadvantaged?
6. What should I actually prioritize during the next year if my goal is a top PhD program? More papers? A stronger single paper? Independent research? Collaborations? Building relationships with professors outside my current lab?

I would especially appreciate advice from current PhD students, professors, or people who have gone through the process without coming from a strong academic family or institutional network. It would be great if Chinese prof. or students can explain. I am trying to understand Chinese culture.

One final personal note

I hate admitting how much this bothers me.

Sometimes I feel that birthplace, ethnicity, family background, and access to academic networks determine how difficult the path to a top PhD becomes.

I don't think my labmate is doing anything wrong, and I am genuinely happy for anyone who succeeds.

But I also come from a background where there were no professors, researchers, or academics around me to tell me how academia works. I had to figure out almost everything myself. No relatives or non-academic friends can really advise me about research careers. Even my parents cannot read or understand most of the academic English I use.

So when I see someone my age already surrounded by professors, research collaborations, publications, and PhD opportunities, I sometimes wonder whether I am simply not good enough.

At the same time, I know objectively that I have already come much further than anyone in my family could have imagined.

I just don't know how to make the next jump.

How do people from backgrounds like mine realistically become competitive for the very top research universities? How can i secure MIT phd ? How can i get a safety net?

I don't want sympathy. I want to understand what I should actually do differently

I am a first-semester MSc student in a non-CS engineering program at a US Top 40 university this fall. I’m on an independent scholarship (not directly funded by my PI), though my PI specifically selected me for his lab.
Our lab is essentially 100% Chinese ( funded by prof research fund), except for me and one other international student who is self-funded and completely ignores lab dynamics. But different behaviour and approach among me and others concern me.

My Background: I actually graduated from a higher-ranked/more prestigious BSc university than my labmates(even my prof; idk think he is insecure about that bcz his msc and phd are of no 1 uni in his field) although not qs top 40. I don't have a massive research network of professors behind me, but I worked hard in undergrad: I currently have a Q2 journal paper under review where I am BOTH 1st author and corresponding author, plus a conference paper (both co-authored with my BSc supervisor). Although our pi assigned me another top university prof as co supervisor. But I think he does that for most of us too.

My Labmate's Situation: He entered the MSc program at the exact same time as me(prof funded) and we are same age as well as completed our bachelor this year. He has already published multiple Q1 papers as 1st author this year[ although based on his previous work] and is actively submitting more. However, those papers are direct collaborations between our current PI, his former BSc supervisor, and a whole network of top Chinese professors (including associate editors of major journals). I also have submitted q1 papers as first author with my pi .He (my classmate) brought this entire multi-professor pipeline with him from undergrad and already has PhD fallback offers from our lab professor. Both he and i are targeting same chiense MIT lab whose pi is also connected with our pi. So I am probably not going to be favoured by pi.

My Main Struggle is why can not i be productive? If he can be this productive, why can't I? Coming from a strong BSc background, it’s frustrating to feel like I’m standing still while he’s producing papers at an impossible rate. I know he is probably a prodigy, but I can't help feeling like a loser comparing my solo effort to his network pipeline. Oh , another weakness of mine is I never used GPT for research and his h index is 5 while i-index reached double digits.

Lab Dynamics (Friendly, but Isolated)
The Good: Behavior-wise, the lab is super friendly, non-toxic, and low-stress. Nobody misbehaves with me. My PI is kind-hearted and praises me highly to my labmates when I’m not around. Since my topic isn't tied to his funded projects, he even went out of his way to assign me a top co-supervisor from another university.

The Bad: I have zero co-authorship opportunities in the lab. ( Ig its true for other members too). My PI recently told me I should aim for just one Q1 paper during my MSc and it could be from the topic he chosen for me( its also interesting topic for me). And also said thats enough. I also found out there is a lab WeChat group I was never told about. I communicate with my PI individually, so I assume the group is either for his directly funded students or just defaulted to a Chinese-only space.

The Stakes: Both my labmate and I are aiming for MIT Chinese lab for our PhDs, and our PI has academic networks there. Given how far ahead my labmate is on paper count, I’m worried I won't be prioritized for strong recommendation letters. Although we will apply next year ( for 2028), he has offers from our pi ; even he said my pi that he is going to apply for that MIT lab and I don’t have. My pi told me to forget about phd for now and just enjoy the masters despite the fact I told him I want to do phd in qs top ranked university and I rejected boston university phd offer for this masters this fall( i told him that and its true. Boston is really nice university and please don’t get offended, maybe i should not have. What do you expect, I am none in my life to give advice).

My Questions for Reddit/Alumni:
1.Am I facing subtle academic racism/exclusion, or is this strictly a demonstration of how powerful pre-existing institutional networks are?

2.How can an independent student match that level of research output without having an entire syndicate of top professors backing every paper?

3.How should I approach my PI? He is supportive, so I want to handle this right. Should I ask to join the WeChat group (using auto-translate)? Should I explicitly ask for smaller co-authorship roles or tell him I want to aim higher than just one Q1 paper?

Any advice from current grad students or alumni would be hugely

Ps: I hate to admit that birthplace & ethnicity decides whether you can go to top universities phd like ivy league phd or atleast how easy your path is.And first generation graduates should not target ivy phds at all and insteads go to the farms or business not academia in 2026…..I am not jealous of anyone. I just feel like a loser and to give you an idea : no relatives or non-academic friends, let alone parents can not even read( understand is far way) the English words I wrote above. Its already a crazy journey for me at this point and I am still feeling like a loser!! How can I be like those top uni researchers??