Hangxiety is killing me
So I (female) went out Friday night on the spur of the moment with some old friends (who are big drinkers). In the past year or two I’ve been working on my relationship with alcohol so have been prioritizing eating a lot before I drink and also only sticking to beer, which has been really benefited my relationship with alcohol.
Unfortunately on Friday night I completely just ignored all of these efforts: I drank a copious amount having not eaten. Needless to say this did not end well.
My friends said I started to fall asleep in the bar we were in so the bouncers told them to take me home. I did not want to go home and refused to get in a taxi. I went to get food by myself and met two guys who were going to a house party. I too decided I wanted to go and hopped in their car. Pretty soon I to the journey I remember getting freaked out and asked them to take me home. They had parked up in some estate by then and just wanted to stay there (for some unknown reason). I kept asking them to take me home and eventually they did.
Unfortunately I blacked out for some of this so obviously I’ve been SO anxious about what happened. I’m in a happy relationship and know I would never ever cheat on my boyfriend, but my brain is being my own worst enemy and making me think something terrible happened. If anything did happen I was definitely not sober enough to give any sort of consent. But again, I don’t think anything happened I just really am freaking myself out.
I feel like such an idiot. Again I’ve always had a turbulent relationship with alcohol but have recently really had it under control and have consciously been making an effort to be a good drunk. I just really let myself down and need to vent.
Any advice would be appreciated.