r/hangxiety

2 years ago I was I was invited to a cookout and swimming at my boyfriends uncles house for the 4th. They also had a little tiki bar. I drank a cut water for the first time, and his family was offering me rumplemintz shots, I agreed and I don’t even know how many i took. Before I move on, at this point I’m still very nervous around his family, super shy, barely can get words out my social anxiety is so bad.

So after the cutwater and shots, I started getting more talkative. Apparently I told his sister I wish my boyfriend was more “out there” as a joke cause he doesn’t drink. I remember being goofy and just dumb I’m so embarrassed. That’s not even the worst part. I was having so much fun I didn’t want to leave. My boyfriend was tired and it’s been hours. I kept telling him he can leave but I can stay, but he knew I was too drunk. He tried convincing me to go home, and I started crying. Then once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop, just waterworks. Everyone saw me and I can’t stop thinking about that.

He said his mom had to trick me into thinking we were taking a group photo to walk to the car. I don’t remember that but I guess it worked. I got home, passed out. Woke up hours later, my boyfriend playing video games and I overhear him telling his friends what happened. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.

It’s been years and I still think about it. I started to tonight for some reason and it replays and cringe at how I was acting. My boyfriend said they didn’t care, the next time I went over they jokingly asked if I wanted a rumplemintz shot and I wanted to just disappear, was hoping they’d all forget. I hate when moments like this pop in my brain I can’t stop the spiraling :(

Any time I drink more than like 3 or 4, my sleep is wrecked. My sleeping HR will usually go up 20%+ according to my watch, and it will wake me up in the middle of the night with anxiety. Any way to avoid this?

The relationship I have with hangxiety is probably the longest one I have had. Doesn’t matter if I did something - I’m gonna be on edge hating myself the next days. Yesterday I drank too much and smoked more than usual and I’m usually just fun (a little stupid but hey it’s okay) but yesterday I was so agitated that I ranted about my ex. Nothing that isn’t true or rlly bad but also nothing that Is really worth telling anyone.
Wasn’t the only topic I talked about but it’s just the cherry on top.
My mind is just trying to replay every conversation and every topic and trying to find things that make me want to jump off a building. And then Ofc I can’t remember every single conversation that I had and am DYING and imagining what I could’ve said and how awful it might’ve been
I know it’ll fade, I know it’s fine. I just feel awful rn, I can rationalise and I know what I need to do but if anyone could just say everything is fine it would help. Positive affirmations are difficult for me in these situations.
Btw it also doesn’t help that I was mildly sexually assaulted yesterday (nothing bad but being a woman going home alone is just exhausting in that regard) but honestly - my hangxiety is worse than that atm haha

I don’t even know what else to say the title is enough .

I went out drinking with some new friends yesterday and ended up getting way more drunk than I intended. I thought I had it under control at the time, but there’s a period of the night that I genuinely don’t remember.
Now I’m really anxious that I might have said or done something annoying, embarrassing, or inappropriate during that time. I don’t actually have any evidence that I did anything bad, which is almost making it worse because my brain keeps filling in the blanks.
One of the friends has also been seeing out messages on the group without responding. Since these are relatively new friends, I don’t know them well enough yet to know whether that’s normal for them or whether it means they’re annoyed with me.
I’m worried they’ll just stop talking to me instead of telling me if I did something that bothered them.
For people who have been on either side of this situation: would you tell a new friend if they had been annoying or acted badly while drunk? And would someone getting too drunk once be enough to make you distance yourself from them?

I went on an accidental bender and just so happened to have 3 drinking days in a row. I tend to drink really heavily when I do. I am so angry and disgusted with myself.

For context: I’ve been on Lexapro (10-15mg) for 2 months now. You’re really not supposed to drink on it. It makes your tolerance way lower and makes you black out easier. But I’m an idiot

Day 1: Not terrible, just was with family at a mini party. I said some embarrassing stuff, but nothing terrible.

Day 2: Woke up a little drunk still, kept the day going. Met up with a friend. We went out drinking all night. I spent a ridiculous amount of money, sent some insane DMs to girls from my past, and cherry on top I had a virtual psychiatrist appointment that I showed up hammered for. I’m so embarrassed. I waited for that appointment for almost a month. Completely fucked it up.

Day 3: Again woke up the next day still drunk. Instead of dealing with the anxiety of it, I kept it going one more day. I went out with my cousin and her friend. Ended up again spending a crazy amount, admitting to both of them that I tried to commit suicide once (my biggest and darkest secret I never tell anyone) and since it was out of the bag I guess I told a random couple I met too?? And I was evidently threatening to do it that night. I don’t remember leaving at all. I don’t remember paying but I do have the charge on my credit card. This is the bar I go to all the time and I’m friends w the bartenders. I even texted one apologizing for if I was an asshole last night. I remember being in tears outside of the bar talking to the random guy I met. My cousin was so worried about me she called my Mom to go to my house and hide my gun. I’m not actually suicidal anymore. I don’t know why I was saying that shit. My mom was at my house when I got home crying. I am so disgusted

I really don’t know how to get past this regret, shame, anxiety, etc. obviously I won’t be drinking for a long fucking time if ever again.. But omg it was so bad

Quick little storytime for anyone who might have hangxiety as well. I'm traveling right now, went out Thursday night solo, blackout around 3am at a random bar, I remember meeting a few people and that's it. I remember some guy slapping my ass and chatting with a bunch of people until like 7am outside of a random underground club. When I was in the cab home I realized I didn't have my purse, which had around $800 inside and the purse itself was an expensive birthday gift worth around $700. Of course it also had random cards and random things I'd put into there over the past 2 years I've had it. I got back to my hotel around 7:30am, not able to remember anything.

Thank God I still have my phone and passport, those would've been awful to lose. All of yesterday I've just been cancelling cards, then went to the bars I remember being at but of course none of them have it. (Second) worst hangxiety of my life. If you're currently hanging - at least you didn't lose your wallet/purse.

I drank 9 drinks yesterday at a day party and maybe the day before that for another gathering. This morning, I woke up with a heart rate of 100 and worrying about everything, and couldn't sit still. I drank 3 drinks and feel calm now.

How do I get out of this? Don't recommend the sub "stopdrinking" because I posted there twice and they deleted it each time saying, "You need to be sober when posting." WTF? I am sober in the morning but the heart rate is unbearable.

I feel good after 3 drinks, but may need another drink around 12pm once my heart rate is feeling bad again

I’m dealing with some pretty intense hangxiety after a night where I did a lot of cocaine and was around people I had never met before, although they knew mutuals from me and my circle.

I know I overshared a lot. I talked about personal stuff, other people, and things I probably had no business talking about. I also spread some rumors, which I feel really shitty about now. There was also a fight-related situation, and I sent some texts afterward that are making me spiral because I keep wondering what actually happened versus what I remember.

Now that I’m sober, I keep replaying the night and thinking about every possible thing I could have said. I’ll calm down about one thing, then suddenly remember something else and start worrying all over again. I’m scared people are going to talk about me, that I made myself look horrible, or that something I said could come back to me socially.

I know I was extremely intoxicated and not acting like myself, but that doesn’t make me feel much better because I still have to live with the fact that I said some stupid and hurtful things.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of hangxiety where you remember enough of the night to know you messed up, but your anxiety keeps filling in the blanks with the worst possible scenarios? How did you eventually stop replaying everything and accept that the night was over?

I started drinking at 12 noon that day, come around 9pm I’m on a dance floor, dancing with loads of people, I remember at one point I was like “I don’t even remember where I am” anyways, I started dancing with this woman and I asked her to get with me, (I didn’t recognize her because I was so drunk)but she was a woman in my local area that I’ve known since I was a child, and I know all her family. I asked her to kiss me and she said she had a husband which I replied “he doesn’t have to know” that was the end of it then but I feel so guilty and horrible about it. It’s haunting me now

I’m struggling pretty badly with hangxiety after a chaotic night and I’m looking for advice on how to deal with the mental aftermath, because my brain will not let the night go.

I went out Wednesday and ended up staying out until Thursday. I drank quite a bit, but I also did ❄️ and nitrous/“balloons”. I know the combination of alcohol, ❄️, nitrous and barely sleeping is probably contributing to how I feel now, but I’ve been incredibly anxious, paranoid and nauseous for days. My brain is basically going through the entire night with a magnifying glass and making me question everything I said and did.

There are a few different things I keep replaying, but there’s one guy in particular who I’ve latched onto. I’ll call him Marcus. He’s my friend Tia**’s** friend — although they’re arguably a little more than just friends, if you know what I mean 😂.

I want to make it VERY clear that I don’t fancy Marcus or have any romantic interest in him whatsoever. I’m fixating on what he thinks because he was the one hosting us and I’m now worried I’ve made a terrible impression in his own home.

His flatmate was there initially, but eventually went to sleep and then left early to spend the week at his parents’ house, so we basically ended up staying at Marcus’s place with him.

Apparently, Tia wanted to invite another guy she knows over, and Marcus wasn’t too keen on it. From what I’ve been told (because I honestly don’t remember all of this clearly), he accused me and Tia of manipulating him into agreeing to let her friend come over.

I apparently got really defensive and said something along the lines of:

“Don’t accuse me of manipulating you. I don’t manipulate people. If you think that, then that’s a you problem.”

He then said I was getting defensive and asked why I had such an attitude and anger about it if what he was saying wasn’t true.

I can actually believe I was rude because I know myself and I probably was getting defensive. Since then, I’ve been repeatedly replaying that interaction and worrying about what impression I left.

The thing is, almost immediately afterwards I tried to rectify it. I told him I didn’t have any beef with him and that I didn’t mean to come across as disrespectful in his house.

Now my brain is analysing that interaction too, wondering whether I was being weird, fake or too eager to smooth things over after being defensive.

Then, about an hour later, Marcus bought more ❄️. He shared it with Tia but didn’t want to give me any.

To be clear, I genuinely don’t care that he didn’t share it. It was his money and obviously he can decide who he wants to share with. I didn’t say anything to him about it being “the principle” or anything like that, even though that’s how I felt privately.

Afterwards, privately, Tia and I talked about it and she was actually annoyed with Marcus and thought he was being rude by not sharing with me. But I personally said I understood because he’d paid for it and could decide who he wanted to give it to.

Then Marcus randomly asked us whether we thought he was rude for not sharing the ❄️ with me. I think I mumbled something like, “No, I get it, you paid for it so you can decide who you want to have it.”

Again, I’ve been replaying that conversation afterwards.

Then when we were leaving his house the next night, he was about to roll a spliff and I made a completely passing comment along the lines of:

“I wish I could go home and roll one.”

They asked what I meant, so I explained that because I live with my mum I can’t just go home and roll one, and that I would love to be able to do that like I used to when I lived on my own, like he does.

Now I’m worrying that he interpreted THAT as me indirectly trying to get him to share his weed with us, especially because he’d already accused us of manipulating him earlier.

But genuinely, that wasn’t what I meant. It was literally just a passing comment about missing being able to smoke whenever I want.

I’m also replaying the fact that we stayed at his house until the next day. I’m worrying about whether we overstayed our welcome. I think I remember saying a couple of times that if he wanted us to leave, he should just let us know because I didn’t want to impose, but because I don’t remember every detail I’m now questioning everything.

Then there’s the whole other situation with the guy I was actually talking to that night.

At the club, this guy was pursuing me and giving me loads of attention, and I was kissing and hugging him in front of everyone. At one point we were in the smoking area and some random guy basically indirectly called me a hoe while I was talking to him. Which was embarrassing in itself because this man didn’t even know me 😂.

Then we went back to Marcus’s place for the after-party and the guy I had been kissing was absolutely hammered. He was talking a load of random nonsense and kept falling asleep.

At that point, I started getting the ick from him. 😭

The embarrassing part is that I’d been openly kissing and hugging this guy earlier, so now I’m thinking about everyone seeing me all over him and then seeing me completely change my mind once we got to the after-party.

Even worse, I apparently told people at the after-party that he was giving me the ick. He was actually there, but he was asleep at the time, so I don’t know whether he heard me or not.

I’ve been feeling guilty about saying that about him while he was there, even though I was drunk and he was literally asleep and acting completely different from how he’d been earlier.

So now I’m replaying both sides of that situation — being openly affectionate with him earlier and then saying he was giving me the ick later.

And there was another thing before we even got to the house.

We were sitting at some benches before getting an Uber and I bent over for a second (fully clothed lol) and one of Marcus’s housemates slapped my bum.

It didn’t really register at the time because I was focused on the guy who was pursuing me. Now I’m sober and I’m embarrassed because people saw the housemate slap my bum AND saw me kissing and hugging another guy, and I’ve been worrying a lot about how that whole thing looked from the outside.

The thing is, I tend to do this when I’m drunk. If I have some kind of altercation or awkward conversation with someone, I latch onto that particular person afterwards and become obsessed with what they might think of me going forward.

It doesn’t necessarily mean I care about the person romantically or even particularly care what they think normally. It’s more like my brain decides, “Right, this person has now seen you at your worst, what if they think you’re awful forever?” and then I can’t let it go.

So now Marcus has basically become the person my hangxiety has chosen to obsess over. 😂

I’m also thinking PLEASE tell me these men have experienced girls behaving far worse than this 😂 because for some reason that thought would make me feel so much better. Surely these kinds of awkward drunken situations aren’t particularly unusual when you’ve got a group of people drinking and doing ❄️ all night?

I don’t even have Marcus’s number, so contacting him isn’t really an option anyway. And realistically, I think trying to find out exactly what he thinks would probably just feed the anxiety.

The worst part is that I don’t actually know how much of this I remember accurately because of the alcohol/❄️/ nitrous, so I’m trying to reconstruct the night from bits and pieces and things Tia has told me.

My brain keeps producing thoughts like:

“Does Marcus think I’m a bitch?”
“Does he think I’m weird?”
“Does he think I was manipulating him?”
“Does he think I was trying to get drugs/weed off him?”
“Did I overstay my welcome?”
“Does he think we’re losers for staying until the next day?”
“Does everyone think I’m a slut because of the guy I was kissing?”
“Did that guy hear me say he was giving me the ick?”
“Does everyone think I’m fake because I was kissing him and then saying he was giving me the ick?”

I know I’m probably never going to get definite answers to most of these questions, which is part of what’s making the rumination so difficult.

I’m wondering if anyone has experienced this particular type of post ❄️/alcohol anxiety where the physical comedown turns into intense social rumination, especially when you don’t remember everything clearly.

What actually helped you stop replaying the night and analysing people’s possible opinions of you? I’m particularly interested in strategies for breaking the rumination cycle rather than trying to work out exactly what happened.

I’m still physically ill days later with nausea and a sore throat, and mentally I feel incredibly anxious and paranoid, so I’m also taking this as a pretty big lesson about mixing substances and not sleeping.

stupid i know, now i feel like im actually dying. my hands aren’t shakey so hopefully im safe, but this is horrible, could use anyone to talk to please. i hope i dont die.

I got drunk with my best friend, nothing crazy but we got pretty drunk. It was so fun. But what made it even better is that he admitted he loved me. I was over the moon happy because I've been in love for him for years now. To have him tell me he loved me and then spend hours talking about our feelings for each other was a dream come true. Only for it to all be ruined when I had the worst hangxiety of my life for the next two days.

I now understand the crippling part of "crippling hanxiety". All I could do was lay in bed and attempt to sleep, but not even be able to do that. I couldn't eat, I couldn't do my chores, I couldn't do fucking anything. I tried so hard to get up and do something, anything to help, but everything about the world just felt wrong. I couldn't even think without breaking out in a sweat and having a ball of anxiety churn around in my stomach. Somehow I managed to empty the cat's litter boxes and wash the dishes, but I felt awful the whole time. Like the world was just wrong.

I drank so much water, desperate for it to change things. I took my tiny propranolol (1mg) that was prescribed by my psychiatrist for general anxiety, but was scared to take more because she didn't tell me it was ok. I wanted to take some cannabis, which has always made me feel chill and relaxed, but I was so scared it would just make it worse. I wanted to take hair of the dog, but was scared I would just be prolonging the inevitable. Two days I spent as miserable as I'd ever been in my life, scared of doing anything and scared I would never recover.

My best friend's admission now feels like a fever dream and it's tainted with leftover feelings of anxiety when I think about it. I should have been on cloud 9 all weekend, but instead I was in hell. I'm upset that such a beautiful moment of my life is now corrupted. All because of hangxiety, which I used to never get after drinking.

I wonder if it's a reaction with my new atomoxetine meds? I don't know if anyone has some insight on that. I want to stop taking it if that's the case. I love drinking, especially with my best friend, but I never want to drink again if that's what I have to go through again. I really don't want to stop drinking, so any tips for avoiding this situation in the future would be wonderful.

Genuinely why do I keep doing this.

Went on a 4 day bender (again). Yesterday really outdid myself. Woke up and started drinking. Called off work. Went to my other job and drank there. Lectured management about things that suck about the place. Woke up an hour later in the backseat of my car in the summer heat.

Went home. Slept more. Woke up and went back out. Two beers two shots. Threw up all over myself. And the inside of my new car. I know it’s going to smell horrible in there.

I think I passed out at 3am. Slept 3 hours. Woke up in a panic that I’m dying because well obviously….

I used to go to the hospital when I felt like this but I’ve just kinda accepted the “if I die I die” mentality because I keep choosing to do this over and over.

Just going to pour my heart out.

Got completely blackout for the first time in my life on Friday and then Sunday night. Now, on Thursday, I still feel drunk. I know that is physically impossible but now I'm worried I've suffered some kind of permanent brain damage and I'm going to be stuck like this forever.

I've missed work these past days, manager calling me, missing meetings, worried I'm going to be fired. I texted her this morning that I'm "horribly ill" and I'm just waiting till this blows over. My other job is demanding things of me and I need this gone ASAP because I need to do my job.

Basically I still feel drunk. I feel foggy, unclear, major anxiety but also the familiar feeling when you're drunk and look at your phone and you can't read anything but you kind of can, but everything feels off. To sum it up, I feel drunk.

I've suffered with derealization/depersonalization in the past, which was genuinely the worst moment of my entire life. I wanted to die every second of it. Now I'm so fucking worried that my heavy blackout nights have triggered it again and I'm going to be stuck like this.

I was also drinking on anti depressants and I'm worried that it's like given me brain damage or something because I know I'm not supposed to drink on them.

Please if anyone can give me some kind of reassurance or similar experiences so I know I'm not going to be stuck like this forever, I need to feel normal again my job is counting on it. Pplease. I'm sorry.

So basically on a Friday night after 3 AM, I reckon after 12-15 drinks, I decided to go to another bar on an uber with 2 random guys.

All of us weren’t let in so we decided to leave. My phone died. As I was in the train station, I was just asking charger so I could charge my phone to get a cab.

So there was this girl who asked me for $20 after I initially asked a charger. I said fine I’ll give it to you once I charge my phone. I tried finding the charger with her going nearby but couldn’t. Apparently I found out that She was on ice and homeless. She insisted for the cash. I was like fine I’ll give it to you once I go home. She came with me. As soon as we got out of the train, she said $50 which I said fine. As we reach the house, she said $100. I wasn’t as drunk by the time I was home and realized how much of a mistake this was. I just wanted her to go away. I’ve never felt so scared inside my own home. She was on ice and I’ve heard people could be dangerous. She was gibberish, strange. During that hour, she smoked her drug, I got more scared. I didn’t want to trigger her anything so I went out took the cash out, and sweetly asked her to leave and got an uber for her. I still get paranoid on what if she shows up randomly or something. The anxiety has been killing me. It’s almost a week and still there. What do I do?

Good at hiding my problem because I get happy, community-oriented drunk.q But I also have a powder problem when I get pissed. Late twenties male, looking for advice to either temperance or sobriety. Tough job (requiring not being depressed/hungover from drink+) for me starting soon

After a few drinks at my friend’s we decided to go to a pub local to me. I was chatting to a man in his 40s (I’m 25F) and he told me the lowest he would go for is a sixteen year old. And boom, I confronted him like twice for it. My friend said I didn’t do anything bad but I’m worried if other people at the pub could tell what was happening (I’m also pretty sure I went up to random people and told them to stay away from him bc of what he said). I’m worried I made a fool of myself and everyone at the pub must think awfully of me. I remember feeling confrontational. 🫠🫠

I only had a couple of drinks last night. No hangover but been feeling like I wanted to throw up all day but every time I go to the bathroom, nothing happens. (Sorry for starting off gross). I was able to get done everything I needed to get done today, but the struggle of not throwing up but feeling like I do is so real.

I got too drunk last night and was really rude to my sister in front of my friends. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. I know my limit but I keep drinking past it, and this time I ended up saying things to her that I deeply regret. She’s genuinely one of the kindest people I know and I feel terrible.

I’m mostly panicking about two things:

1.	How to properly apologize to my sister and rebuild trust with her

2.	Whether my friends now see me as “that person who can’t handle their drink” and won’t want to hang out/drink with me again

I know I need to figure out why I keep going past my limit even when I plan not to, it’s happened enough times that I don’t think it’s a one-off. Has anyone dealt with something similar, either as the person who did this or as the friend/sibling on the receiving end? How did it play out, and what actually helped?