u/Yenty617

I went on an accidental bender and just so happened to have 3 drinking days in a row. I tend to drink really heavily when I do. I am so angry and disgusted with myself.

For context: I’ve been on Lexapro (10-15mg) for 2 months now. You’re really not supposed to drink on it. It makes your tolerance way lower and makes you black out easier. But I’m an idiot

Day 1: Not terrible, just was with family at a mini party. I said some embarrassing stuff, but nothing terrible.

Day 2: Woke up a little drunk still, kept the day going. Met up with a friend. We went out drinking all night. I spent a ridiculous amount of money, sent some insane DMs to girls from my past, and cherry on top I had a virtual psychiatrist appointment that I showed up hammered for. I’m so embarrassed. I waited for that appointment for almost a month. Completely fucked it up.

Day 3: Again woke up the next day still drunk. Instead of dealing with the anxiety of it, I kept it going one more day. I went out with my cousin and her friend. Ended up again spending a crazy amount, admitting to both of them that I tried to commit suicide once (my biggest and darkest secret I never tell anyone) and since it was out of the bag I guess I told a random couple I met too?? And I was evidently threatening to do it that night. I don’t remember leaving at all. I don’t remember paying but I do have the charge on my credit card. This is the bar I go to all the time and I’m friends w the bartenders. I even texted one apologizing for if I was an asshole last night. I remember being in tears outside of the bar talking to the random guy I met. My cousin was so worried about me she called my Mom to go to my house and hide my gun. I’m not actually suicidal anymore. I don’t know why I was saying that shit. My mom was at my house when I got home crying. I am so disgusted

I really don’t know how to get past this regret, shame, anxiety, etc. obviously I won’t be drinking for a long fucking time if ever again.. But omg it was so bad

What the title says.

5 years of insanely close friendship. Fell in love somewhere in the middle, confessed about 6 months ago, got rejected gently but definitively. I’m still not over them.

Key part: I have to and WANT TO stay friends with them. They did nothing wrong to me, they can’t control who they are attracted to. We are back on great terms and even joke about it. Friendship is still alive and well.

But I genuinely can’t get over it. I’ve made progress but it’s not moving fast enough for me. Will Lexapro help me to get over them/accept it’s not going to happen, etc? That emotional blunting side effect everyone talks about would be GREAT!!!

Im desperate for help.

I work in concessions and at least twice a shift black customers will come to the stand asking if we have “juice”, for a while I thought they meant like apple juice, grape juice, etc… So I used to say no. But we’ve come to learn that means just anything but water, soda, or alcohol.

When we tell them we have Lemonade, Gatorade, etc. They’re like “oh perfect.” Or “that’s what I meant.”

It’s definitely no shade or racism to black people. Even my black coworkers in the stand laugh about it and say they don’t know why they do it 😂

Anyone out there know why?

(NYC area if it matters)