Is it important to choose egg and sperm donors who look like me?
I’m thinking about having a child conceived from both donor egg and sperm (both open ID only). Currently, I’d be a SMBC.
I had tried a few IVF cycles with my own eggs and chose sperm donors who are not my ethnicity. The reason for that sounds now so naive and ignorant to me - I wanted to add to diversity in this world - but I didn’t think about whether this could have an impact on the child (though I was always planning on having their ethnic background/culture integrated in their upbringing, etc).
Now that I’m also thinking about a donor egg, I’m asking myself if my potential donor-conceived child would prefer if they looked similar to me (and the majority of people where they’d grow up)? Of course, you can never know with genes what might happen - but should I make an effort to choose donors who are of my ethnicity (and perhaps have similar traits like hair and eye color)?
Then again, I would tell my child from the beginning that they are donor-conceived and so looking as similar as possible wouldn’t matter too much?!
I’m sorry if my thought processes at this point are ignorant and uninformed and perhaps even hurtful.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and insights in advance!
Edit: thank you all for your critical and thoughtful responses! My lack of insight, naivety, and ignorance are quite glaring to me now. It also made me realize that I didn’t center my potential child’s needs at all, didn’t even realize it. So thank you also for allowing me to get cognizant of that!