u/Mental_Scale9608

I’m 18, Canadian, and currently do not have my license. I’m getting my first job soon after years of fighting my health, I’m finally medically cleared to work and have a license.

the issue is, I have little to no spatial awareness in large vehicles, am scared of big cars, and my city doesn’t allow ATVs (an ATV was my dream vehicle 😭) I also have no balance, and am an ambulatory wheelchair user so I need a second seat to have my wheelchair on.

I know nothing about cars, license, insurance, anything. Eventually I will learn but first I want to know what type of car would fit me best.

I really want a car that only has two seats and is teensy, similar to the ‘Toyota C-pod‘, but they’re discontinued and I dont know how I’d get one.

what should I do? any tips? what car would fit me best or does anyone have any recommendations?

Does anyone have any tips to deal with extreme anxiety, separation anxiety, and paranoia, related to their partner's seizures? I am in desperate need of support.

My bf has epilepsy (he's had 7 total seizures in his life and was diagnosed in 2018 ish? i dont know actually. whenever he was 11-ish?) his seizures before have seemed very brutal, and severely traumatized his family. but was 2+ years (more, i think) seizure free, he missed his medication for 11 months. On April 12th he had a seizure. We've been dating for 2 years, that was my first time seeing him have a seizure. (we live 10 minutes apart and i am mostly homebound due to my own chronic health issues, mostly heart conditions. one of my health issues being fnd, i have nonepileptic seizures. So the only option is for him to come over, but usually its only on weekends.) he had another seizure on friday, iirc it was the 15th, it was horrible. both seizures he was on facetime with me, we always are on a call, i don't think there's been a time we aren't. Both times he's ''fine'' after, or thats what he says. No auras before, just BOOM! Head left, convulsions. but he has never had seizures this close together, I'm terrified it will get worse. Theres a lot more context to this but it would be suuuper long, lol! Plus i tend to overshare so i'll try not to do that. This is my first time using reddit so bare with me.

mini context that may be helpful, i have ocd, anxiety, and autism. he has autism, anxiety and adhd. He is struggling a lot with fear right now too. I am the only one he will communicate with, which i then usually tell his mom. I dont want to dig into that stuff, just know he heavily struggles with communication and only talks to me.

I was not okay for either of his seizures, but no one knows. i was screaming, crying, awake for 30+ hours, in severe pain, etc. Stress has made my health issues flare up a lot. im in contact with his family but it would be very wrong to ask them to help me with my fear, thats why im coming here.

I think I finally broke today and last night, it seemed like every hour or less I’d wake up literally screaming and crying because of extremely vivid dreams that my brain would make up, about my bf’s seizures / seizures that my brain makes up as dreams.

Now, I start bawling my eyes out every time I see him turn to the left, even if it’s just to grab something. Same with whenever he looks up. Nothing manages to distract me or make me feel better, I’ll zone out and my brain starts making fake scenarios of what could happen.

My bf does not know this and does not need to, all I’ve said is that I miss him. (We live 10 minutes away, I haven’t seen him since yesterday, however he always is on a call with me.) however about a week after the first one, I opened up to him that i had been having daily panic attacks. I bought him an apple watch and added some seizure tracking apps, but im still so scared.

I genuinely don’t know what to do, and I have no support system for myself (meaning I have no one to talk to about how I feel and how I’m not doing well.)

He was my only support system, the only person I could talk to about anything, but I can’t and will not talk to him about this because it’s unfair, I don’t want him to feel bad. I pretty much refuse to, because if he knew how bad I was doing, im worried it would stress him out and cause another seizure, even though we dont know what the cause of his are. It could be anything

But I’m genuinely not okay and don’t know what to do about my own feelings, and at the same time I feel invalid for even mentioning this because I’m not the one who’s having the seizures. I shouldn’t be this f’d up. I am in therapy but it isnt helpful at all. I signed up for a community seizure / epilepsy first aid and info class, which starts soon.

I’ve never felt worse. Anything is appreciated, support, tips, stories, anything. I am so desperate

sorry, this post seems pretty messy, my brain is messy too and i struggle a lot socially. I love him so much it hurts so bad