u/Meowy4852

Is showing a coworker that I’m uncomfortable enough, or do I need to be more direct?

There’s a male coworker I’ve intentionally kept some distance from because I don’t want a personal relationship with him.

The reason is that I previously gave him some access to me and noticed that things we discussed privately, nothing dramatic, just personal thoughts, opinions and perceptions would later become things he mentioned publicly or joked about with other people. So I gradually closed that access.

There’s another thing that makes me uncomfortable. Whenever he gets access to my computer for work, I’ve noticed him looking through my personal writings, articles, etc. It gives me the impression that he is very curious about me and keeps trying to discover more about me even though I’ve intentionally created distance.

I’ve tried to keep things smooth and professional because we work together. I don’t want unnecessary tension at work, so I’ve mostly just given him a dull/uninterested reaction rather than confronting him.

But today he came to my desk saying he needed a file. While he was there, he put his hand on my head. He already knows I strongly dislike people touching my head. I didn't react I stayed completely normal and he eventually went back to his office.

He also took one of my AirPods to his office without asking.

The strange part is that after he left, he never called or followed up about the file he supposedly came for.

I’m starting to wonder whether some of these things are attempts to push my boundaries and see how I react. I don't know his intentions, and I don't want to assume that he has romantic feelings or anything like that. I just know that I’m uncomfortable with the pattern.

So my question is:

Is showing a coworker through your behavior that you’re uncomfortable enough, or do you need to explicitly tell someone to stop when they keep testing small boundaries?

I want to keep the relationship professional without creating unnecessary workplace drama. How would you handle this?

የማርያም ወይስ የኢየሱስ:

Let’s be honest, in Ethiopia, the Orthodox and the Protestants don’t hate the devil nearly as much as they hate each other. Satan gets a quick mention in Sunday church, but the real, daily anger is saved for the person on the other side of the fence.

To the Orthodox, the Protestant is just a መጤ, their church is የጭፈራ ቦታ and they call them ጠላተ ማርያም because they won’t honor St. Mary like they do. The Protestant is seen as a total traitor to his own blood and history.

The Protestant hits right back with their accusations. They call the Orthodox ጣዖት አምላኪዎች, whole ancient church የሞተ ሃይማኖት, full of empty rituals and no spirituality. To them, the Orthodox are just hypocrites who starve themselves during fasts, but then get drunk at ጠጅ ቤት and visit witches once in a while.

For a lot of people, this hatred is how they live every single day. The Protestant blasts loud worship music from his window on a Saturday, the Orthodox neighbor turns up his church chants so loud the whole street shakes, people walk an extra three blocks just to buy goods from someone on their side rather than spend money at a shop with the wrong cross or bible verse on the door, hardline Protestants close their curtains on big holidays like መስቀል or ጥምቀት and act like the whole town is doing evil magic outside, Orthodox neighbors roll their eyes and say the city is going down the drain during big Protestant conferences, the Protestant laughs in office break rooms that a coworker eating fasting food is trying to buy heaven with lentils, the Orthodox colleague stares in pure disgust at someone eating beef on a fasting day like they're looking at a wild animal, Protestants whisper that an Orthodox neighbor's illness or financial loss is a curse for following dead traditions, and the Orthodox claim that St. Mary is punishing a Protestant for abandoning their roots.

The craziest part is that they use more or less similar Bibles, yet they use the exact same verses to hate on each other.

And the verse they love to throw at each other the most is Paul's words,

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

When Paul wrote that, he was talking about real pagans who worshiped Roman statues. But in an Ethiopian house, "unbeliever" just means "anyone who doesn't go to my specific church."

A Protestant looks at an Orthodox Christian who prays to Jesus and fasts half the year, and calls them an "unbeliever" lost in total darkness. The Orthodox turns around, looks at the Protestant who prays to the exact same Jesus, and calls them an apostate even መናፍቅ who is going straight to hell.

It amazes me how when money, work, or daily life is on the line, nobody cares about that Bible verse most days. An Orthodox landlord will gladly take rent money from a Protestant tenant. A Protestant trader in Merkato won’t think twice about buying goods from an Orthodox guy with a cord around his neck. They share offices, do business, and sit shoulder to shoulder in the same taxi every single day without any drama.

Getting along is easy when it's practical. But the second a person converts to the other side or two young people fall in love and say they want to get married? Total chaos.

Suddenly, everyone gets religious, aunts who haven't opened a Bible in ten years start acting like strict priests, church elders show up uninvited to lecture everyone, and mothers start crying like someone just died, swearing they will never set foot in a hall with a pastor, or in a church with incense.

It has gotten so absurd that people talk like they belong to competing sports teams instead of the same faith. On the Orthodox side, some people act strictly like they're "Team Mary", to the point where merely hearing someone emphasize the name of Jesus makes them visibly suspicious or triggered, instantly assuming the person is an undercover Protestant trying to deceive them. Meanwhile, Protestants proudly crown themselves "Team Jesus," walking around as if they hold the exclusive trademark on Christ, treating themselves as His sole spokespeople on earth. They both have managed to turn a mother and 'her Son' into opposing parties.

What do Y'all think?

The Article found on substack!